Baby Showers

Where to have the shower?

Hi all! FTM here! My MIL and best friend have both offered to throw me a baby shower, but neither have done it before and are asking me where I'd like the shower to be. 

Here is the tricky part - MIL lives about an hour from all my friends and further from my (limited) family. Her house is beautiful but small with no backyard. Best friend rents an apartment with no clubhouse or anything. My townhouse is small and not ideal either.

Husband and I are thinking a co-ed BBQ would be fun. Should we suggest renting a picnic area at a park? I wish we could do it somewhere with a clean bathroom available though! ;) But I don't want to ask for something requiring much of a budget. Any ideas for affordable baby shower venues that can accommodate 30-50 people? Preferably with an outdoor area? How I wish I had a backyard!

If anyone is local, we are located in the SF Bay Area (East Bay).

Thanks for any advice!

Re: Where to have the shower?

  • "wherever is convenient for you, mil and bff!"
  • The park idea is good. If you're a church goer, sometimes they'll have a hall or community center you could rent. A restaurant with a banquet hall is another good option. My family is hosting mine at a hotel conference room. You could even offer your own house, just make it clear that you are not hosting it yourself.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
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  • Just be careful about the co-ed part.  You don't want this to cost a lot of $$ but yet going co-ed doubles the guest list.  You need to have a good idea of budget and what these people have offered to throw you.  THEY may envision it being more traditional. 

    So, sure, look into parks, rec centers, restaurants - but then hand over a list of options to your MIL and BFF and let them take it from there.  If you want to suggest that they combine, sure, you can do that.  But do it in a way that doesn't sound like they have to.  And before you say "hey, how about coed?", you need to ask how many people they feel they can host.   That will play a big role in whether to suggest co ed or not.
  • Right VOR, not only does it double the guest list but there is more pressure on the hosts to serve heartier and more expensive food.  For example, your hosts might have originally planned on sering small tea sandwiches whereas now they will feel obligated to serve meat for a bbq.  

    Anyway, you could always Google community room and your zip code and see what comes up.  My sister's baby shower was in a large community room in a nice medical building and it was actually free.
  • This is really something for the hostesses to decide.  Driving an hour to attend a baby shower isn't all that bad.  I live in the suburbs of a major metropolitan area; there's always someone who lives on one outskirt of the area or the other who winds up driving.  It's just the reality of bringing together a group like this.  If people don't feel they can drive an hour, they'll just rsvp with regrets -- no biggie.  Honestly, it's a lot less work to drive an hour and attend a shower than to throw the shower!  

    Either way, I think a safe answer is to politely say, "I'm grateful for whatever you guys want to do or think is best.  If you want to have it at one of your homes, that will be lovely.  If you would rather do it in a public space, that will be great as well.  I guess it depends on your guest list and budget.  People would be comfortable driving an hour away, but probably not much more than an hour, so wherever you all want to do it is fine by me."
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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