How has your social life changed since becoming a mom? — The Bump
December 2015 Moms

How has your social life changed since becoming a mom?

Before I had my son, friends would flock around me to meet up, hangout, even laze in my presence... Since I've become a mom I feel this separation. Its difficult to find stimulation from being with friends when they have started distancing themselves.

Re: How has your social life changed since becoming a mom?

  • So.. yes and no. I am fairly new to the USA. My social life was at work. Since I'm not at work, I don't have a social life. When i go back, my social life will continue to be at work. So that won't change much i don't think. 

    I have one friend, a coworker, who visits me now and then and he visited me after Olive was born so that hasn't changed much. 

    My closest friends are back home in my country. Our social life, since i came here, has been mostly skype with a few trips home. That hasn't really changed but going home will be different because we would typically hit a bar or drink and watch movies. Olive doesn't allow me that much leisure time :) 

    I think if i lived back home with Olive right now, things would be very different. I am (surprisingly) kind of introverted in real life but i ALSO enjoy my close friends being around me a lot. We would sit on the back deck, make a fire, do barbecue, drink, listen to music, talk. We can still do those things - i'm the last of us to have kids - but with a young baby, the dynamic will change. Or i'll have to find a sitter on social nights. 
    Ozzy453
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  • Yes my social life has changed similar to you i would usually hang with friends and find things to do around town we would link up go out drinking go out to shows.  I'm not used to being home if I'm not at work on the weekends I'm usually hanging out with friends I'm going to family members houses to just hang out with my nieces and nephews and my brothers but now that I have a child that has dramatically come to a halt my days are spent at home and on the weekends if I can make it out of the house its usually a short trip. It almost feels as though you're in isolation is the same thing day after day especially if you're a stay at home mom we've gotten some visits after leaving the hospital for a family of friends who wanted to come by and visit the baby but it's usually just not the same so I'm looking forward to are getting older and we're able to just pick up and go and I'm not freaking out about driving with her but myself so I'm looking forward to that to get back in the swing of things and not feel like a hermit crab stuck behind the walls of my house
    Ozzy453
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  • DH and I have been trying to keep a social life. We have gone to a few patio bars with some friends and just taken DS with us. There is a craft beer patio bar about a mile and a half from our house so we walk there with DS on Sunday's have one drink and food and then walk home. I've also tried to make at least one lunch date with friends each week which I take DS with me. We to out to eat dinner with friends about once every other week and also being DS. We have also gone to a basketball game and a few movies with DS. It's changed in that DS is there with us and we have to plan more around his feelings or make sure we are going to a place and with people where I'm comfortable breastfeeding. I think it will change more we DS gets older and won't be as easy to bring everywhere since now he usually just sleeps through wherever we go. 
    Ozzy453
  • @groovylocks @chewie5990 I think you both raise very valuable points. When I posted this discussion I was so wrapped up thinking that this distance I was experiencing with my friends was related to their personal choice to be mean to me. After reading all your posts its made me reassess my situation.  I guess youre right the dynamic of my relationship with my friends has changed since I had my little Ossie. I am going to try and be more vocal with my friends, and give them a better understanding of what I am able to do with them. Hopefully it works out :) BTW @shantelwilson1988 I can totally relate! I completely understand what you mean about the isolation, and feeling like a hermit loll
  • Luckily most of my friends have little kiddies so I just bring mine into the bunch. The main problem for me is being on DD schedule. She goes to bed at 8:30 sharp! Ha, so we must be home around 7:30 to give bath and get ready for bed. If I do manage to go to dinner with friends for a drink DH will watch DD and I will pump when I get home. It's a huge change from previous but I don't feel isolated. It sure is hard traveling around with an infant! My husband jokes we need to hook the house up and haul it around bc i take so much of her things with us when we leave ;)
  • Let's put it this way. The other day my DH asked what Saturdays I had open  through March and April. My response was all of them. I literally have no weekend plans for two months. Seems kind of pathetic.  Part of it is with breastfeeding, it's such a process. We had a bunch of friends come over last night and that was nice. Since we were at my house and there were plenty of people to help entertain my kids, I was even able to arrange to have a drink. Hopefully when LO is eating fewer times per day, it will be easier to plan. 
    Let me tell you, I had way more plans when there was only one! 
    blended10
  • My social life has become a lot better, surprisingly! When I was pregnant I was very alone. Now, my friends are all about visiting DD and I. 
  • DH and I still do about the same amount of things together we just wear DS now. My community kind of expects you to have children...so if I want to do kiddie centered activities, I guess I now have more opportunities. 
  • My life is completely different. I am ebf with a baby that refuses to take a bottle so I can't basically leave for more than an hour. My husband is great with her and will try to soothe her but she wants the boob. I really can only go out if I'm with her and I don't like her to be out and about much yet because she doesn't sleep well and just starts crying. My friends stop by but I'm usually trying to feed or put the baby to sleep and find it just is hard to sit and chat. 
  • Next weekend I have a wedding to attend an hour away from home. I'm probably overly excited. Oh, and it's a "no kids" wedding. Gramma will have DA and momma will have booze! 
    dec15mumJackJacktheCat
  • @laurabwalker giiiiirrrrlllll yes! I want so badly to go out to dinner next week & I doubt it's going to happen bc of the same issue. I need a break so bad esp from this past 10-day break from preschool! I can count on one hand how many "hours" alone I've had in 9 weeks. And dh wonders why I'm so cranky! 
    OP - you've mentioned b4 you're a young mom - are you the first of your friends to have a baby? They might just not be sure the best way to include you now or figure you are too busy/tired whatever to hang out. I'd just be straight & tell them you miss them & suggest something to do. I'm sure they miss you too!
    since I'm a prisoner I basically invite ppl here or bring my kids with me or go to a kid-centric place. 
  • @blended10 keep trying for that bottle, maybe it will just happen?!? :grimace: 
    blended10
  • Hubby and I were all
    about Sunday fun day with our group of friends.... Basically anything was an excuse to drink all day. We went today with our little guy, no intention of drinking, but not expecting the lovely input these motherless lady friends had. One told me she couldn't imagine breastfeeding (I ebf) because she "can't even handle her bf sucking her nipples during sex". What?? Please don't compare that to my baby getting his vital nutrients to survive!!! Haha. That was our attempt at getting back to our normal social life....fail. 
    blended10ATolentino89andreaAL11
  • Mom friends are a life saver. Playdates become mommydates, as long as none of the kids are bleeding, us moms continue to chat. 
    ATolentino89blended10steffnstuff
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