Getting stressed already... — The Bump
September 2016 Moms

Getting stressed already...

I believe it was mentioned before somewhere on here but I am having some small issues with my husbands step-mom.  I love that woman but she is geting pretty possessive over my pregnancy and this baby and I am only 8weeks.  Thank god I currently live out of state but we are possibly moving before or after birth and we could be moving closer depending on where we get sent (Military).

My poor husband called last night to speak to his father and of course they share a cellphone.  She picked up the phone and immediately asked about "Our" baby. Not about him or I as a person but about the baby. We havent even had out first appointment yet so I have no clue how the baby is.  I dislike how she is calling it our baby as in she is included.

Hubby decided to point it out and I am very thankful he did but I have a feeling its not going to be that easy.  She and him got into a little tiffle over it and she got upset. She claims this baby isnt just mine and husbands but the families baby so she has the right to say our baby.  He shut her down and she finally handed the phone to his dad but he said she was still going on about it in the background.

I dont understand her thinking at all.  My own parents and his mother are just happy and haven't really said much because well it's early.

She is making me feel very stressed and anxious.  I don't know how to explain that I am very thankful that she will be apart of this childs life but in reality this baby is our journey not hers and when we need her help or advice we will certainly not hesitate to ask.

Any advice on how to approach her respectfully on this subject?

Me:24 ~~~~~ DH:26

High school Sweethearts 03/29/07

Engaged 11/29/2009

Married 09/04/2012

TTC#1-06/01/2015

BFP 12/27/2015 EDD 9/8/2016

It's a BOY!


                                                          Pregnancy Ticker

Re: Getting stressed already...

  • RedMarRedMar
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Photogenic
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    edited January 2016
    Random question, does she have children? My step-MIL acts similar and it kind of makes sense because she never experienced motherhood (my husband was older when she became involved), but I get what you mean totally about feeling overwhelmed!
  • That sucks, I hate when my mil acts like my 1 year old is hers. My step-mil never had kids and is not this way at all. No advice but a heads up that many people will from this point forward see you as baby's mom..
     Versus your own person.
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • @RedMar Yes, she has two that she has given birth too. My husbands Step-brother and half-brother. I sorta wish now my BIL (Hubbys half brother) and SIL would have gotten pregnant first.

    @AnnaS930 I am okay with being referred to as the babies mom but not being thought about at all. All her questions are/have been How is the baby? what's the baby feeling like? Does the baby like fruit? I am 8 weeks and not one question has been how are you feeling. 

    I recently went to the ER for some sharp pain in my right side. Not knowing if this was related to pregnancy or something else I went in.  Hubby happened to get a phone call from her when he mentioned being in the ER and not who was or why, she jumped to the conclusion of me and asked "Is the baby alright?" not if I was.

     

    Me:24 ~~~~~ DH:26

    High school Sweethearts 03/29/07

    Engaged 11/29/2009

    Married 09/04/2012

    TTC#1-06/01/2015

    BFP 12/27/2015 EDD 9/8/2016

    It's a BOY!


                                                              Pregnancy Ticker
  • Babies make people nuts. 

    I got a pretty thick skin thanks to my S13 BMB. They gave me the confidence to stand up for myself. 

    I'm not saying to be a jerk but stick to your guns. It's not "our" baby and you need to tell her that it makes you uncomfortable when she does and says things like that....

    who cares that she gets her feelings hurt if you put her in her place with your baby. She's a grown woman. This is your child and what you say goes....

    Being a mom is tough and my IL's are boundary stompers. I've seen and heard it all.

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