The Things People Say — The Bump
September 2016 Moms

The Things People Say

I think everyone knows that pregnancy is a bizarre period in life that seems to invite strangeness from all kinds of unexpected sources. What are some of the weirdest things you've heard so far?

I'll start:

1. With my first, I was still finishing my degree and had a pretty obvious bump for the fall semester (I was due in December). My perma-craving of that pregnancy was dairy, dairy, and more dairy, so I'd often walk around with an elementary school-esque half pint of milk or chocolate milk. An older woman, possibly faculty, said this to me when I was in an elevator:

Ball Defender: "You know, if it's a boy, that milk is absolutely going to shrink his testicles."
Me: "Oh, okay. Well."

2. My mom visited a week or so ago and had some good ones. I picked up a saucepan from a low cabinet and this exchange occurred:

Mom: "Should you really be doing that in your ... condition?"
Me: "Mom, I'm pregnant. It's cool. And lupus and diabetes are conditions."

3. I think #2 makes my mom sound a little old-fashioned, but she also says things like this:

Mom: "You have no chance of having a girl. Your husband only shoots boys."
Me: "Oh, gross, no."
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Re: The Things People Say

  • One of my pole dance instructors continually asks if I should be poling and lifting weights in the same day. But the way she says it makes it so funny: 

    Instructor- Are you sure you should be lifting the same day you pole? Your baby isn't used to it!

    Me- the baby isn't used to anything, really. It's not born yet. And my doctor says it's fine. 

    Instructor- But aren't doctors known to be wrong?!

    Me- I think I'll make it and so will baby. 

    Context? I've been poling and lifting for years. I cut back on the hours per day I do both, but it's important for me to maintain both activities until I can't anymore!
    TTC #1 - Started 7/2015
    MC #1 - 1/10/2014
    MC #2 - 10/15/2015

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  • My BIL drives me nuts. I think he's weird and creepy. He is a massage therapist (awesome, not bashing RMTs) but because of that he thinks he's a "healthcare professional" and wants to discuss everyone's health conditions and decisions with them. He does this to the whole family. He visited last time when I was a week overdue with my son, and he actually asked me, point blank, no preamble, if I had been doing anything to prepare my perenium. We are not that close. I told him "I think it's a bit late to be worrying about that don't you?" I talked to DH about it later though because it is absolutely not ok for him to think he can just bust out stuff like that and make me feel like j have to discuss it with him!
  • @0SeaMonkey0 oh my god!!! Even if you were close, DNW someone asking about the state of my perineum. 

  • @0SeaMonkey0 That is just horrible. I never, ever want to hear the words "perineum" or "taint" (omg, @RedMar there's not enough bleach in the world to clean that away) from anyone in my family.
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  • I was chatting with my mom the other day and she told me that I'm not allowed to cut or dye my hair until after I'm done breastfeeding. When I asked why so long she mumbled something about vitamins and then she quickly changed the subject. I brought it back up and she said because it's tradition. What?
  • Oh man give me a few more weeks and I KNOW I'll have some real crap to share. The medical field in my area tends to be full of full-of-it's and so its
    going to be very interesting when they find out I'm expecting number 5. I still don't get why 5 is ok for Angelina Jolie but not for the rest of us? But whatever! To be continued!.... Hahahha

  • These stories are cracking me up! I will be on the look-out for ones to share of my own after it becomes public knowledge that I am pregnant. :)
    Married: 3/21/15
    First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years :)

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  • Not this pregnancy, but with my first, my MIL told DH that my running was going to shake the baby.  LOL
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  • Last pregnancy a maleco worker was dead serious when he asked if jumping jacks while pregnant would give the baby shaken baby syndrome.
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  • scifichick09scifichick09
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited February 2016

    When we told my MIL, she responded by calling me "Gordita" (which means chubby girl), and then told my husband he needed to start doing the laundry because, amongst other ridiculous things, I can apparently no longer lift was a super fun conversation *sarcasm*

    PS. She ended the convo by telling my husband he needed to stop having sex with me because he might hurt the baby...WTF?!

    ME: 25, DH: 27

    TTC #1 since 09/2015

    Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016

    BFP 05/28/2016!

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  • No one knows I'm expecting yet but I got all sorts of crap like that when I was pregnant before. My mom is the WORST. She thinks she knows everything about everything and will lecture me until the cows come home. I can only imagine what her distasteful response will be when I tell her I'm pregnant again! Bahahaha
  • miam4 said:
    English is not my first I am cracking up that I had to google the word "taint" @RedMar lololol
    and then I asked DH "how bad is this word?" his answer "PRETTY BAD!"

    You know how a lot of people hate the word "moist"? Yeah, taint is that word for me. :shudder:

  • @blondie080300 i just want to eat that pizza in your GIF!! omg that looks amazing!

    I told my MIL last night the news (she lives with us 4 days a week to help watch our son...and it's pretty obvious at dinner time that i'm not eating what everyone else is)...anyways she's very excited...but with my last pregnancy i had some bleeding (which scared me because i had 2 mc prior)...this pregnancy i'm over it and feeling great about it...all she keeps saying is "gosh i sure hope you don't have any break through bleeding again this time" and i just want to scream WHY?! it wasn't a problem last time that i head bleeding...and why do you have to keep reminding me!!

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  • @erinmarie86 I hear you about wanting to eat the pizza in my GIF! :) I tell everyone that I just want to participate in the "eat" part of the movie/book "Eat, Pray, Love". :) It is why I want to go to Italy! That and the
    Married: 3/21/15
    First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years :)

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