someone tell me im not alone — The Bump
September 2016 Moms

someone tell me im not alone

BbyPratherBbyPrather member
First Anniversary First Comment Photogenic
edited January 2016 in September 2016 Moms
I havent introduced myself yet but I have a lo on the way. Due sep 25th. Today I just need some prego mama support. I feel like a awful wife and mom! I stay home with my 9 month old currently. We have a blast reading books and trying new foods usually but this past week Ive been so exaused I slept on the floor of her play area and let her do her thing for like 3 hours a day. Plus slept while she was napping and put her in bed with me in the morning so she will sleep in. I feel so guilty that Im not interacting with her when shes awake. Then my dh gets home and Im a frekin hot mess. I seriously can not get a grip on my emotions. I havent freaked out on him but just holy crap the mood swings have to be killing the poor guy. I feel justified in being whayever emotion it is at the moment and then by the time we lay in bed I just bawl my eyes out because I think about how rude and mean it is for me to be all crazy crazy. He just tells me its ok Im pregnant and hes not upset with me and its gonna pass. Its awesome that hes being so understanding and kind but it makes me feel worse for being a crazy person. So I end up feeling three times as bad for being moody towards someone who is just loving me a whole lot. I swaer I was not this crazy when I was prego with our little girl. Like I think I cryed once and it was over messing up a dinner I tryed really hard to make perfect. Now dh looks at me wrong and I have a meltdown. I was not expecting the moodies when we found out we were expecting since I didnt have a hard time with it my first pregnancy so Im having a hard time dealing with it a little... I just need to hear that there is other ladies having the same issue so I can feel a little more normal! Anyone out there?! 

Re: someone tell me im not alone

  • *lurking from July*
    you are not alone. While I am a FTM I am learning from the stm's on our bmb that  Every pregnancy is different and affects us differently. Also have some grace for yourself your first go around you didn't have a little one to keep up with and look after and care for so your whole environment for this pregnancy is different. Hormones suck as does the exhaustion but take care of yourself and have some grace for yourself mama! You are doing just fine! 
  • Hey you are just fine!!! There is nothing you can do about fluctuating hormones so he has no choice but to understand and you just have to cry it out when needed. It makes me feel better! :-) as far as you little one goes there is NOTHING wrong with ur approach. You would be surprised by how many moms let there children self entertain when more than one enters the picture. Two is just way different than one. When I was pregnant with my second I taught my daughter how to work a vcr and put a baby gate up and she hung out with me and watched cartoons whenever I needed a nap. No shame here! Besides this level of exhaustion usually passes and then you can go back to spending more time with her. She is so young! You have plenty of time. Don't beat urself up. It's just not necessary. Oh and I'm due the 25th too!

  • Every pregnancy is different. You should not feel bad for mood swings or being exhausted --- you are growing a human! 

    Once you feel better, you can go back to spending quality time with your kiddo. She will not remember that mommy had a slew of lazy days. 

    It sounds like your husband is being very understanding. Don't feel guilty. Love and support are what marriage is all about. 
  • Not only are you growing a little human in there you are also caring for one!!! I think too often we moms judge ourselves too harshly...especially those of us who are home all days with little ones who don't have an opportunity to have actual conversations with other adults. We get lost in our own heads... I call this the funk! and this too shall pass!
    Give yourself a pat on the back and know you are doing a great job loving on your 9 month old with lots of extra snuggles!!!
  • Yep, we all feel this way. First tri fatigue :) 
  • I wish you could teach me how to nap for 3 hours while my daughter plays. She would use ME as a play mat. 

    You are definitely not alone. We have had a lot more screen time in this house the last few weeks. Movies, netflix, you name it. NO shame here. I did feel guilty at first, but now here I am a little over 9 weeks and I'm actually feeling a lot better and am able to do more. I was having crying fits a lot from week 5-9 because I was frustrated with not being able to do as much, and it turned out to be a lot of wasted energy and worry. DH just kept his head down and tried not to set me off. Men seem to be so much more understanding the second time around. You have to rest when you need it right now. Your 9 month old isn't going to care. The first trimester is so hard with a little one, but remember it's only temporary.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • @BbyPrather I'm mostly just jealous your kid will sleep in and play while you nap. 
    #1 born 8/21/14, #2 & 3 (identical) due 9/27/16

  • You are not alone. It's so easy to give into "mommy guilt" but you are not blatantly ignoring your 9 month old. She is happy and content playing by herself right now and when the first trimester passes, you will be back to your old attentive self. It sounds like you have a supportive husband who understands that hormones are part of the package and that you're doing the best you can. You'll get through this.
  • So far I have cried every day of week 5. and I almost. never. cry. DH has been so sweet, but I think he is beginning to wonder what he has gotten himself into! It is our first (and unexpected) so I think we are both a little overwhelmed with information overload. I work during the days, but so far this week have gone to bed by 9 or before every day. I can't imagine taking care of a wee one while feeling like this. Sounds like you are an amazing mom to me :)
    ~ Diana

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • Just breathe and take it easy on yourself. Its a blessing that your 9month old will allow you to sleep. Dont be hard on yourself because it's going to make you miserabke and you dont deserve that. Take it easy Mama you are not alone.
  • You're fine! I'm due September 19th, I have 2 toddlers and I don't play with then nearly as much as I did...I am exhausted!!! And nauseous! Do not feel bad. 1st trimester is definitely rough and this is a time to take is easy. There will be plenty of play time throughout his childhood trust me!!!!
  • I think that letting your daughter play while you rest is not a bad thing. Eventually you'll feel better and you'll be ready to play with her again. Don't feel bad about it! You're in first tri which can really suck. It'll pass. It's not like this has become the way you will be with your daughter from now on. So just relax about it.

    As far as your emotions/reactions, this IS a very emotional time and all the hormones can really make us crazy. With my son, I was super weepy. With my daughter, anger was my go-to emotion. Either way, it's okay to have those feelings; however, it is also important to try to control your reactions. As normal as the feelings are and as understanding as your husband might be, you don't want to be doing things that you will later regret because those things are still hurtful and not nice. Okay to have the feelings but always try to check your reactions because they can affect your marriage, even if they are justified. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Me: 38 DH: 36
    Married 8/27/2011
    BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
    BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
    BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
    BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
    BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
    BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018

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