I have read several comments in here about those of you who share in the fear/phobia of vomiting. For those of you that don't, I know how irrational and silly it can sound, but to those of us afflicted with this fear it is VERY real and akin to something far more terrible than it seems!
So anyway.... I found out today when I went in to have what was to be my second stretch and sweep that my midwife (the one on call and my favourite to deliver our little one) has the stomach flu and was up all night. Because of this, my other midwife refused to give me a stretch and sweep, not wanting to instigate labour while she's sick. The idea is to give her a day or so to recover. The thing is, I know a LOT about stomach viruses and they are contagious for a very long time afterwards. I feel so stressed and so deflated because I have been trying so hard to get myself to a positive place before facing this birth and have really struggled because my first birth with my son (less than two years ago) was very difficult and pretty traumatic. I have been having a really hard time getting myself into the space I know I need to be in and this just fuels my already anxious mind and adds so much stress during the most vulnerable time in my life!
I fear now, greatly, for the health of my baby and myself, as well as my husband and toddler since she will be there and also the one to take care of the baby once she's born in our home etc.
What makes matters worse is some my first sweep on Tuesday, I have been experiencing intense contractions and lots of bleeding. Things were definitely starting and I'd amped myself up to think that today's sweep would really get things going. Instead they did nothing and now I fear I will go overdue like I did with my son. He was 9 lbs and had shoulder dystocia and I had a 39 hour labour! The plan of attack throughout this whole pregnancy was to try everything to ensure the baby was born by term. My due date is now two days away and things seem bleak. There is also no real induction plan in place....
Not sure what I'm saying really. Or hoping for.... But I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. I wish there was a way to decrease some of this anxiety and try to get myself into a good headspace. I know you can't control these things! It could definitely be worse, I know that too! I just wish, so badly, that this wasn't happened now, of ALL times.