December 2015 Moms
Taylovesbrad
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Breast is best
Taylovesbrad
member
Does anyone else think this saying is super insensitive to mom's that can't or have major issues breastfeeding and quit for their mental health.
I EP and use formula after exahsting all avenues for 6 weeks with breast feeding.
My son gets breast milk but when I hear this saying it makes me feel guilty.
I feel like it should be modified in some way to be more inclusive to all mom's and not be so discouraging and condeming. I also went into a bad depression because for a while I felt like I wasn't doi ng what was best for my baby.
Interested if anyone else feels this way.
I EP and use formula after exahsting all avenues for 6 weeks with breast feeding.
My son gets breast milk but when I hear this saying it makes me feel guilty.
I feel like it should be modified in some way to be more inclusive to all mom's and not be so discouraging and condeming. I also went into a bad depression because for a while I felt like I wasn't doi ng what was best for my baby.
Interested if anyone else feels this way.
Re: Breast is best
But I also believe it's best for our babies to have happy parents so I'm trying to keep that in mind when making my decision about how I'll continue to feed LO. Sometimes BFing makes me miserable, but trying to stick it out and hoping it gets better.
Have you read this? I came across it the other day and thought it was interesting.
Don't beat yourself up over it. Your baby is being fed and that's the most important thing!
Married - 10/10/2009
DS - Due 11/3/2012 born 9/28/2012 due to Severe Preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome
DD - EDD 12/30/15
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I can't remember who but I think it's a much better saying
I loved how our pedi refered to BF and just wanted to share. He said to think of it as extra credit, great if your can do it but nothing to worry about if you can't.
I EBF with my husband occasionally giving baby a bottle of pumped milk once in a while to give me a break.
I must admit that breastfeeding has been my biggest challenge. I love it but definitely have days where I hate it. I do not look down on anyone who decides formula feeding is better for them. If breastfeeding is not going good it can cause a hard relationship between mom and baby.
I was at a party with my baby and fed him a bottle of formula, multiple people asked me what I was giving him or commented that it did not look like milk. No one was overtly rude, but when we left my husband asked me if I also felt like everyone was judging us. I try not to take this stuff personally, but I have become a lot more aware of what's appropriate to say to pregnant people or new parents now that I have been through this whole process myself.
Breastfeeding is incredibly hard and whatever reason it doesn't always work. With DS breastmilk was making him severely I'll and I still felt guilty switching to formula for that saying. This time, I mostly breastfeed and rarely does she get formula now but I hate pumping and so sometimes she gets formula. Starting out it can be such a massive pain to find the right one but past that it can be so much easier sometimes. Even with BF mostly going well I'm still tempted sometimes to let it go.
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With that being said, my LO spent time in the NICU and even though I was a breastfeeding candidate, when I look back at his time there had I chosen not to breastfeed, even if I was someone who chose to exclusively pump, I think the LC and NICU nurses would have really made me feel the pressure. I was at a hospital that is all for breastfeeding and the whole term, "breast is best." I just remember hearing a conversation the LC had with another mom who was choosing to EP and she was giving her, her 2 cents on how breastfeeding offers so many bonding experiences, yada, yada, yada. I also started to feel pressure/anxiety about having to maybe supplement for my LO because by day 4, my milk was barley coming in. I pumped while at home and brought up my milk to the hospital for feedings that were given to him while I wasn't there to nurse. They had to maintain his serving size for a couple of days because I wasn't producing enough for them to be gradually increasing his daily intake. I broke down and cried as if the idea of supplementing formula for him meant they were giving him some toxic poison that would harm him. In addition to that, the hospital had a guest stay opportunity. It was for women who were discharged from the hospital but had babies in NICU. They could "guest" in one of the available L&D rooms so that they could nurse and be there for their babies 24/7. I can not tell you how many times I was reminded that I could have "Guested" in one of the rooms to be able to feed him on demand, so that they may not have to supplement for him. Total and utter guilt trip right there, let me tell you. I was a basket case the first night I was discharged and not because our son wasn't home with us, but for the simple fact I was beginning to feel like a failure at this breastfeeding thing.
We are now formula feeding DS entirely. I was happy to have breastfed and pump for a solid month. The switch to formula hasn't been the easiest, which sometimes does make me think whether or not I should have tried to stick it out with BF and pumping. If we try for Baby #2 I would def. have some different thoughts/perspectives on breastfeeding the second time around.
Anyway, I think the phrase "breast is best" is a backlash to the rise in formula feeding that took place in the 60s-ish. By the 70s and 80s it was the norm to use formula and not breastfeed. La Leche League formed and started attempting to encourage more breastfeeding. Nowadays we see most women at least attempt to BF before stopping by 6 months usually. I know that I personally had never even seen breastfeeding IRL prior to having DD.
Given all that, I saw a discussion today about what was used before formula and wow! Women were so innovative and motivated to keep babies alive. One woman recalled her grandmother telling her that her great grandmother had had her 2 months early. The doctors told her to let the grandmother die. Instead her gg used goats milk and condensed milk and stayed by a fireplace for 3 months. Could you imagine that today?? Formula has led to so many more babies living and thriving.
ive also seen stories hers of it helping women. While I hope to breastfeed until 12 months, I think it's more for the same reasons stated above! Breast milk is chalk full of the chemicals we come into contact with everyday. Formula, at least, has that going for it!
so instead of feeling "less than" consider the source.
do your eye lashes feel inadequate when they say "maybe she's born with it? Maybe it's mabaline?" (Probably a spelling error & also aging myself)
or whatever marketing example you want to use.
"dont let the bastards get you down"
Edited for clarity
It did. But I noticed that when she's bottle fed, she could look right at me because she was on her back mostly. But when she nurses she faces my breast and can't see me.
not sure what this bonding nonsense is about. I made a lot more eye contact bottle feeding.
there are lots of reasons to do either and I'll tell you right now, put two 20 year olds side by side and identify the breastfed and formula fed one and it'll be a crapshoot guess. The difference truly is negligible.
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Breastfeeding is more work than I ever imagined and so far I have been through hell and back with it. The first week we couldn't get the latch right because my nipples were a little flat so my son literally sucked them raw. I was in excruciating pain and screaming every time he latched and cried while he fed because the pain was so intense. I did this every hour. I dreaded each time he cried from hunger but grit my teeth and did it over and over again until blood was dripping out as well. I then understood why not everyone does this but I am stubborn and determined and with the help of LC goddesses we were able to fix the latch and the pain was completely gone in a day.
Since then we feed comfortably but also struggle with weight gain. So I now have a routine of feeding and pumping and ingesting things to help my milk supply.
Everyday I drink some gross mother's milk tea, take fenugreek 3 times a day, eat oatmeal and lactation cookies and pump after feedings to keep it all going.
I'm about to give up dairy, which includes all my favorite foods, because my baby is gassy and I need to see if it's due to that.
If breast isn't best for my baby than why am I doing all of this when I could just pour some powder in water and be done? Why have I gone through all that I have if its just the same as formula?
Either one is better for babies or they are identical. Which research has shown countless benefits to breastmilk which have yet to be mimicked. So yeah, technically breast milk is the best thing out there healthwise for babies while they're babies. That doesn't mean the fact that it's best that someone can't do it should feel bad about it. Eating organic, non processed whole foods is better for our adult bodies but just because I can't afford or don't want to eat that way doesnt mean I should feel guilty about it or judged by people who do live that way.