July 2016 Moms
TattoosandLace
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Delivery Room Details
TattoosandLace
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Now that I'm approaching the halfway mark I'm curious what you ladies are doing and thought it would be interesting conversation. Who's going to be in the delivery room with you? Who thinks they're invited but won't be allowed in? How have conversations with moms/MILs who expected to be in the room gone? Are you having an L&D photographer?
Re: Delivery Room Details
I don't want my husband to leave my side through the whole thing. I also want my mom close at hand. (She's a nurse and also I trust her explicitly) The rest of the family/friends can gtfo. They can visit two hours after babies are born. I want bonding time with just Adam, myself, and our babies, and we have enough family between his and mine that it'd be hours before they even got passed back around to me.
Can you believe we are almost half way already?
DD #2: EDD July 2016
All family members already know the deal and we haven't had any issues with it.
No photographer. There are already enough complete strangers in and out of the room, I don't want to add another one.
No birth plan. I had zero plan or idea about what even happens during labor (hadn't read those chapters yet or had the classes). I think it's just easier to go with the flow. Having no preconceived ideas or hard set plans is an easier way to go, less chance of being dissapointed or let down.
My entire birth plan: go to hospital, get epidural if I can, have baby, take baby home.
There is a good post on June 2016 about other people's experience (when it comes to people coming into the room when they aren't wanted) just ignore the ramblings at the end with Haus and I about our crazy mothers.
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12655583/keeping-being-in-labor-a-secret-until-after-birth/p1
Most of these situations I didn't even consider until I heard some of your stories so thank you for always sharing insight on all of this !
One thing to take note of, for anyone that isn't married, if something happens to you, they will go to your family members. Since I know my mom is the type to do what is best for her (and not my wishes), it would be a nightmare letting her make medical decisions for me. My husband and I had been together for 5.5 years at this point, but weren't married. So we had legal documents written up, stating that he could make medical decisions for me, and they were notorized and signed by two witnesses (who were non-family members). I just gave those to my nurse that was getting me settled in my room, and she put them in my patient folder.
Now, unwelcome self-invited folks a) my mother-in-law; she has alcohol problems and a strained relationship with my husband. I do not want her in l&d, and any other presence of hers in our household is up to my husband. b) a set of married friends, because our two husband's are exhausting, loud, and boozy when they are together. I don't have the energy for 'the guys'.
I don't plan on doing any professional photography in the hospital. I've never been a big user of professional photography, and unless my husband pushes it probably won't get professional shots done ever. Nothing against photogs or the people who use them, it's just my weird thing.
My husband almost passed out seeing me get blood drawn yesterday, so I'm not at all assuming that he'll be conscious. I need my mama and my sister there.
As far as a birth plan goes, the plan is this: drugs drugs drugs drugs, get the baby out. We're going to try to do some classes, so maybe I'll make a more educated/established plan as time goes on. But for now...
My birth plan would be to listen to whatever my doctor says will minimize the chances of me seizing before, during or after labour.
I had never even considered a photographer but my husband's buddy just had a baby and they had one. My husband is so in love with the pictures so I guess it's a discussion right now.
This discussion hasn't come up with either side of our families and I'm hoping it doesn't. On my husband's side this will be the 9th grandkid. So to them it's been there, done that. It is the first on my side. My mom probably wants to be there. But....I mean this in the nicest way possible...she would drive me nuts. She's very emotional, anxious, nervous, etc. I don't think my dad or stepmom would expect to be in the delivery room, but I think they will show up at the hospital if they know I'm in labor. They did ask if the could come to one of my ultrasounds which I agreed. In my head that is the compromise for us not including them the during the delivery.
No written birth plan. I'm a go-with-the-flow type.
Also no L&D photographer. If I don't want family there, I definitely don't want extra strangers there.
As far as a birth plan I am fairly laid back as of now. I want to have the option of pain management and know when the cut off is approaching but I honestly want to just try and see how I do. I trust my doctor with the rest. We shall see!
I have no birth plan other than give me drugs and make sure the baby is healthy. Then skin to skin and breastfeeding.
I don't care who comes to visit after. I know my ILs will be there and my mom and sister. Most likely my moms best friend will be waiting too (she's essentially mom #2). She already asked if it was okay for her to wait in the waiting room.
My birth plan is, goto hospital, get IV, then spinal, have C/s and tubal, grt stiched up, love baby.
I don't have much of a birth plan thought out. I'm with @Nerdchild about trusting my doctor to make the right calls, and I'm planning to just go with the flow. I am a nurse in the hospital where I'll be delivering (even though I don't work in L&D) so I essentially know how things work there. I would like to try for an unmedicated childbirth but I'm also realistic and don't want to exhaust myself over several days of pushing.
As far as a birth plan, I see a group of midwives. Last pregnancy, one of them said to make a birth plan, so I tried making one. I mentioned it at my next appointment (with a different midwife) and she asked specifically what types of things I would want in there. When I told her, she basically said I really didn't need a birth plan. All the things I wanted, they would want for me too. If you do write one, I wouldn't make it overly detailed.
As far as a birth plan..no idea. I had originally thought I would be all for the drugs, but my mom said she did natural births with my 5 siblings and I, and she said it's not as bad as you'd think it'd be. Any STM+'s agree?
My birth plan is to not be induced again, super stressful for me. Have an epidural if the pain gets bad like last time. Have delayed cord clamping, immediate skin to skin, and to breastfeed. I want to be out of the hospital 6 hours after birth knowing that my MIL has been a LLL leader for over 27 years will help if we have latch issues. (Delayed clamping and skin to skin premiering that everything goes well) I was super depressed being in hospital for 3 nights last time (one during induction and two after birth) I found the nurses and LC's to all have different views and were super annoying. I felt pressured to do things I didn't want to and they stopped me from cosleeping which I understand if their policy but this time I am out of there ASAP.
ETA: we're trying to decide how long we can delay announcing the birth to family before they'd be angry... Do we have to tell them right after? Can we wait 24-48 hours? Longer? How long before they'd be hurt/pissed?
With DD, there was never any conversation of extra people in the room aside from my mom. Ultimately we decided to have just DH and everyone was supportive. My MIL never asked (and wouldn't - she's very respectful)
No L&D photographer for me. Although with a repeat c-section I could totally go in all dolled up and look amazing in those photos
I'm hoping for a drug free birth, so we want to clarify and make sure that everyone at the hospital is aware that I know an epidural is possible, but don't mention it to me. I will ask for it if I want it. I've been listening to pod casts and reading birth stories (addicting) and a bunch I've read/listened to mentioned not thinking about possible pain relief because no one ever brought it up. I think not having it constantly dangled in front of me will help me stay focused. Besides that, delayed cord clamping, skin to skin, and breast feeding.
I didn't do one with DD. I didn't have strong feelings about anything I just wanted to go into it open minded and do what I needed to do. I've thought of writing up a short summary of my experience with DD for them to put on my chart, so that at shift change my new nurses can read about some of the trauma I experienced last time to have a greater understanding of my anxieties and emotional state, without me having to explain my history over and over. It would be one paragraph max.
If you do choose to use a birth plan, my only advice (as a nurse and having heard from my L&D nursing friends) - don't go in with a long, incredibly detailed plan. I've heard of people going in with multiple pages front and back, it's not realistic or reasonable to expect your nurse to read something that long.
I think going in with a short, concise plan of what you hope to happen and a few requests is totally acceptable. Bullets such as "please do not offer me pain medication, I will ask for it if I need it" "I would like to be able to move around the room for as long as possible" or "please advise me as soon as I am able to get an epidural". A few bullet points that you feel really strongly about. But keep in mind that you may still have to repeat some requests verbally, if they are especially busy it may get missed at shift change.
If you go in with one, I would give it to your nurse at intake and request that they put it on your chart. You could also make 2 copies so one goes in the chart and you keep one with you.
I did let others visit me before the intense labor started (I was induced for pre-eclampsia, and was in labor for 14 hours). I'd rather people not be in the waiting room this time because I also pushed for 2.5 hours and had him at 8 p.m., and I just felt like all of these people were waiting on me, which was kind of annoying. We let people come in quickly to see him since it was so late and they'd been waiting so long, and I felt like the beginning bonding time got rushed.
My birth plan is to get the baby out alive by any means necessary while keeping me alive, with drugs. The only other thing I want is more skin to skin time/bonding before the daggone relatives rush in (which is why I would prefer them to stay home until I say to come this time). I trust my doctor. She doesn't do episiotomies unless she has to (didn't need one last time), she believes in delayed cord clamping, etc. We're a good match, and I don't feel like there's anything I really need to try to direct her to do or not do.
Birth plan is pretty straight forward - pro pain management but likely not until I ask for it, baby survives, I survive. That means if medical intervention is necessary I'm all for it and I completely trust my OB to inform me in that case and take care of me and baby.
I hadn't even thought about having a photographer there. I'm leaning towards no but it's something to think about
July'16 BMB May Siggy Challenge - Star Wars:
Originally, I planned to not allow any visitors during the hospital stay, but was so happy and excited that I wanted people to come meet him as soon as we were in the recovery room and had food.
Regardless, I would only have DH and my mom anyways. My mom lives 2 hours away and she only just made it for when my son was born but I was really glad she was there. DS had to be rushed to surgery and I sent DH to stay with our son but I really didn't want to be alone after with the 20 strangers in the room. I can't imagine what it would have been like to be alone after they rushed DS out - I was terrified. I hope my mom can make it in time for this baby!