Postpartum sex?

Moore2love2014

I don't know about you but I am terrified about having sex for the first time after baby. My son is a month old now. He was born on Christmas. And my 6 week check is coming up soon. I know my husband is excited to get back in the swing of things, but I am so scared that it's going to hurt really bad!

Anyone else feel this way?

ainverso

I felt that way with my first. I was so nervous and dreading it almost. My experience (though I'm sure different for everyone ) was actually wonderful. It didn't hurt and was very enjoyable. Only bad thing was that I breastfed and leaked milk really bad. Tried sex without bra and nursing pads but I was spraying milk everywhere. After few weeks this got better.

Achae

It took months before sex wasn't painful pp, but I was also bf and it wasn't until my supply dropped more that sex wasn't painful. There are other ways to be intimate at least

Moore2love2014

I hear that breastfeeding makes you dryer down there? So weird! I'm also bf so we will see when the time comes. Till then I'm going to pray that it's not painful! lol

Mommyduclos

Use lube and take it slow and RELAX that was always my biggest barrier after my babies that I'd be so nervous, tense up and obviously that makes it more uncomfortable. Once things get going though, in my experience, it's fine- it's just the initial penetration that is a little nerve wracking and uncomfortable

BarrettJ89

I'm dreading it. After my son, it was so painful. I refused to stop because I felt awful for SO... but he stopped the second he knew I was crying. Obviously, we got it right fairly soon after considering I got pregnant again so fast (around 12 weeks pp).

This time around, I think we plan to wait about 8 weeks... or at least until BC is in full swing. Taking no chances this time around.

dramaphile

Lots of lube and take your time! We did the deed at 6 and 7 weeks PP and It wasn't bad the first time, and was even better the second time because I was more relaxed. Both times, I did start to get sore after a while, and so we switched to other activities so he could finish. Wear a bra if you're BFing, and communicate with your partner, don't just "take one for the team" if you're hurting. There are non-penetrative activities you can do that are fun, too, if you're not ready yet.

carlyhammond

Don't tell SO but I'm SERIOUSLY dreading the deed.
It hurt while I was pregnant... So I can only hope that it won't hurt but judging by the way I'm still uncomfortable it's probably going to hurt :-/

Moore2love2014

@carlyhammond we didn't have sex during my I tire pregnancy because it hurt. So I'm scared that it's going to hurt sense that did lol.

carlyhammond

Sometimes it was too painful to continue and other times was perfectly ok...
I'm just really nervous about it..
That and I don't want another baby anytime soon...
Secretly I'm planning on not telling SO if my OB gives me the go ahead tmw.. I'm going to stretch this out as long as possible

MssyMmmy

Does the same go for those who have had c-sections? I am hoping since I didn't tear vaginally it will be different.

*edited for poor word choice that was not funny as intended but inappropriate. See apology post below.

carlyhammond

@MssyMmmy Uhm as someone who "blew out my vag" I feel a little offended...
Probably hormones though

Achae

MssyMmmy said:

Does the same go for those who have had c-sections? I am hoping since I didn't blow out my vag it will be fine?

You will still have hormones and pp blood.

hannahduff3

carlyhammond said:

@MssyMmmy Uhm as someone who "blew out my vag" I feel a little offended...
Probably hormones though

Idk I'm offended also....

mrsgetz4000

@MssyMmmy that was in really poor taste. Think before you type
So am I the only one who is dying to get back in the sack? Granted this is my first baby so i know nothing about post partum sex. DH and i have a very physical relationship

scornwell717

hannahduff3 said:

carlyhammond said:

@MssyMmmy Uhm as someone who "blew out my vag" I feel a little offended...
Probably hormones though

Idk I'm offended also....

Yeah while I'm over here feeling very self conscious about the way my vag looks and hoping it goes back to normal I'm a little offended as well...

bbrownlee1

@mrsgetz4000 nope I'm only 2 weeks pp and I could definitely jump back in already. Waiting until 6-8 weeks might be a little difficult.

Krisdee123

MssyMmmy said:

Does the same go for those who have had c-sections? I am hoping since I didn't blow out my vag it will be fine?

danasphillips

MssyMmmy said:

Does the same go for those who have had c-sections? I am hoping since I didn't blow out my vag it will be fine?

Poor choice of words. And yes you still have to wait. The 6-week rec isn't just for your crotch to heal. When your placenta detaches from the wall of your uterus it leaves a big wound (that's where most postpartum bleeding comes from). Having sex or inserting anything into your vagina before your uterus has healed is a huge risk for infection.

KFrob

@mrsgetz4000 I am also dying for sexy time! LO is two weeks old and we've already started fooling around when we get the chance and we are both counting down the weeks until my Drs appointment for the go ahead! Part of it is missing the physical connection. Im also looking forward to all the positions that were out while pregnant. I think I'm not afraid since I didn't tear. Our biggest hang up at this point is figuring out birth control.

kaym6

carlyhammond said:

@MssyMmmy Uhm as someone who "blew out my vag" I feel a little offended...
Probably hormones though

My mom was in the delivery room and after told me it looked like my "vagina literally exploded" so you are not alone! Lol

MssyMmmy

I just want to send a true apology to everyone I offended. I do see it was in poor taste and did not think it through when posting which was stupid. I did spend a lot of time pushing during my labor but babe got stuck. The only thing about having a c-section I felt happy about was recovery from a different spot. I most certainly made a stupid word choice and feel terrible for writing the post the way I did. My question about sex after a c-section was legitimate as I do not know what to expect. I am in the same boat of being afraid things will hurt or be different. I do hope everyone recovers quickly and as this thread suggests is able to enjoy intimacy with their partners once again.

Brianna0915

mrsgetz4000 said:

@MssyMmmy that was in really poor taste. Think before you type
So am I the only one who is dying to get back in the sack? Granted this is my first baby so i know nothing about post partum sex. DH and i have a very physical relationship

I was just thinking this! I'm super antsy to get going again!!! I'll definitely wait until we get our go ahead from the Dr (and back on BC) but I really wish the time would go by faster!

l4rk

MssyMmmy said:

I just want to send a true apology to everyone I offended. I do see it was in poor taste and did not think it through when posting which was stupid. I did spend a lot of time pushing during my labor but babe got stuck. The only thing about having a c-section I felt happy about was recovery from a different spot. I most certainly made a stupid word choice and feel terrible for writing the post the way I did. My question about sex after a c-section was legitimate as I do not know what to expect. I am in the same boat of being afraid things will hurt or be different. I do hope everyone recovers quickly and as this thread suggests is able to enjoy intimacy with their partners once again.

I definitely laughed when I read your original joke, if that's any minor consolation.  But I also haven't given birth yet so maybe I won't find it funny in a few days? I just assume that with so few c-section perks, you gotta take 'em where you get 'em...

tfrangul

I've been ready to get it in since 2- 3 weeks pp. I didn't tear or anything this time. Not sure how that works when my son was 2 pounds bigger than my daughter but ok I guess. Lol

Moore2love2014

I didn't mention that I had to have an episiotomy, so that scares me too. I have never had stitches before. I'm so scared!

kaym6

MssyMmmy said:

I just want to send a true apology to everyone I offended. I do see it was in poor taste and did not think it through when posting which was stupid. I did spend a lot of time pushing during my labor but babe got stuck. The only thing about having a c-section I felt happy about was recovery from a different spot. I most certainly made a stupid word choice and feel terrible for writing the post the way I did. My question about sex after a c-section was legitimate as I do not know what to expect. I am in the same boat of being afraid things will hurt or be different. I do hope everyone recovers quickly and as this thread suggests is able to enjoy intimacy with their partners once again.

I also laughed when I read your original post and I definately blew out my vagina

kmo8986

I am dreading it. I had a 2nd degree tear this time, and about the same last time so I know it will be uncomfortable at first, as it was after my last pregnancy but I am TERRIFIED of getting pregnant again by accident. Hubby is going to get a vasectomy, and we will use condoms in the mean time but I am so done being pregnant, and I think it would threaten my mental stability if I got pregnant again.

ChrissyD1203

@mssymmmy I also laughed at your post (3rd degree tear here), but I think it's really classy that you apologized! I'm nervous about sex because I haven't looked down there (but my husband will not be looking for a few months - already made that decision) but also because I'm worried about messing up NFP and getting pregnant so soon! Hadn't even considered the pain but I'll add that to the list!

Meg920

I blew mine out too lol. It still hurts and it's been 3 weeks. I would like to have sex soon as I think it will be good for my relationship and I think would make me feel human and attractive again.i am just so scared because of the pain!

MssyMmmy

I'd like to point out since my last post wasn't so helpful, dec 15 has a really great thread about this. I didn't realize the 6 week waiting period isn't just about when you feel ready pain wise but to allow the internal wound on your uterus to heal. The detaching of the placenta creates somewhat of a scab and to disrupt that can cause infection. So to answer my own question, whether you had a vaginal delivery or a c-section the risk is still the same. 

kwentela

I agree with whoever was the pp who recommended girl being on top at first. 6 weeks out, bleeding stopped and nexplanon in place to long term prevent adding a sibling too soon. On top definitely helps so you can pace at first. It was tender for the first little bit but was better after that. So happy after 4 months of waiting due to moving and pelvic rest! Haven't had to wait that long since DH was deployed but at least then he was thousands of miles away not right next to me in bed unable to do anything with! Hope everyone's experiences go ok and don't let the fear of pain keep you from enjoying again! After all, we all are managing to bring these beautiful lives into the world, not a pain free experience! Good luck ladies!