I'm 26w6d pregnant with our first baby and am considering using a doula as an advocate for labor and delivery at a regular medical hopsital. I'm an only child and my mom is very adamant about being in the delivery room, which is perfectly fine, however I feel like she's going to think I'm using a doula in place of her. Has anyone else had a similar experience? How did you handle it? That also means there will be me, DH, mom, doula, doctor and nurses in the delivery room...how many people is too many?
I will be using a doula again. She did things that my physician DH would never have thought of. She set the mood in the room and helped with dirty work and grunt work - shoulder pressure, perineal compresses, holding me up when pushing (I sat on a birthing stool) - things that your mom might not be able to do, nor would she want to do. You may want to get a clear idea of exactly what the doula will be doing and give your mom a specific "job" for during l&d so that she's not focused on what she's not doing, but rather what you've "assigned" her to do.
The number that is "too many" is whatever you're comfortable with! (Unless hospital policy dictates otherwise of course). The additional doula cost personally isn't worth it to me, but many women love them. A close friend of mine is training to be a doula and has to have a certain number of hours for certification so I may allow her to assist to help her out if she asks, but not currently planning on it.
In terms of doulas in general, there are a few posts with lots of responses both for and against that you can search for. As for your specific situation, check if the hospital has a policy on number of people in the delivery room. Many do as too many people can be dangerous to you or baby should something go wrong and they need to be able to bring in more medical staff quickly. I don't think 3 is necessarily too many, but I would hate for you to find out day of that you have to "kick out" Mom.
Thanks for all of your advice! I'll definitely check out other posts about doulas and I think assigning my mom a "job" during l&d is a great idea! We're meeting with the doula this week to get more info so I'll make the decision then. Thanks again and Happy New Year!
Re: Is anyone using a doula?
As for your specific situation, check if the hospital has a policy on number of people in the delivery room. Many do as too many people can be dangerous to you or baby should something go wrong and they need to be able to bring in more medical staff quickly. I don't think 3 is necessarily too many, but I would hate for you to find out day of that you have to "kick out" Mom.