Job interview...

ninji15

So I have a job interview coming up, I am not expecting to get it so its not a huge deal for me.

I was just wondering though, should I tell them I am pregnant? If I should when should I do this? I am concerned about not being hired because of it, but even more worried about getting fired before I could even try for unemployment if it becomes an issue. Regardless of if its illegal I am sure it happens. Appointments, leave, insurance. Its a small company. So I am torn.

What do you all think?

jennyleigh16

Don't tell them. You're not obligated to and it's illegal for them to fire you because of it. I know it still happens but if they do fire you then I'm sure it's not the kind of company you'd want to be working for anyway and you'd have a legal leg to stand on. If they keep you, win/win. 

anskip

Be cautious of questions though. They can't legally ask you if you have children or are pregnant, but they can ask things like 'tell us about your family.'

Y0urm0m

Don't tell them during the interview. If you get the job don't tell them until after your probation period is up. If you tell them before they can and will not hire you or fire you before your probation Is up for "other reasons"

DobbysSock

I would not tell them until/unless you are hired and have signed the paperwork. Once you have the job you could even wait until your probation period is over to let them know, if you're worried about them taking action against you. Not only is it illegal for them to not hire/fire you for being pregnant, I believe it is actually illegal for them to ask you if you're pregnant, even if you're obviously showing.

ninji15

Y0urm0m said:

Don't tell them during the interview. If you get the job don't tell them until after your probation period is up. If you tell them before they can and will not hire you or fire you before your probation Is up for "other reasons"

So just lie about appointments then I guess? I am more comfortable keeping it to myself, but usually probation is 90 days. I will start to show, and if I have any complications I may have to take it easy (as I have stated in other threads something is up with my liver?).  

jennyleigh16

ninji15 said:

Y0urm0m said:

Don't tell them during the interview. If you get the job don't tell them until after your probation period is up. If you tell them before they can and will not hire you or fire you before your probation Is up for "other reasons"

So just lie about appointments then I guess? I am more comfortable keeping it to myself, but usually probation is 90 days. I will start to show, and if I have any complications I may have to take it easy (as I have stated in other threads something is up with my liver?).  

"I have a doctor's appointment." "Due to liver issues, my doctor wants me to.../ doesn't want me to..."

Y0urm0m

ninji15 said:

Y0urm0m said:

Don't tell them during the interview. If you get the job don't tell them until after your probation period is up. If you tell them before they can and will not hire you or fire you before your probation Is up for "other reasons"

So just lie about appointments then I guess? I am more comfortable keeping it to myself, but usually probation is 90 days. I will start to show, and if I have any complications I may have to take it easy (as I have stated in other threads something is up with my liver?).  

I mean you can make other excuses. If you feel the need to explain your Drs appointment tell them you are having health issues. There is no need to elaborate. I wouldn't consider it lying. Is this your first child? Typically you won't start to show until after 20 weeks. With my first I didn't start to show until 26 weeks.

anskip

All you have to tell them is that you have a dr's appointment. They really don't need/ have any right to know any more than that. Just make sure you get a dr's note to cover your absences.

ninji15

Y0urm0m said:

Y0urm0m said:

Don't tell them during the interview. If you get the job don't tell them until after your probation period is up. If you tell them before they can and will not hire you or fire you before your probation Is up for "other reasons"

So just lie about appointments then I guess? I am more comfortable keeping it to myself, but usually probation is 90 days. I will start to show, and if I have any complications I may have to take it easy (as I have stated in other threads something is up with my liver?).  

I mean you can make other excuses. If you feel the need to explain your Drs appointment tell them you are having health issues. There is no need to elaborate. I wouldn't consider it lying. Is this your first child? Typically you won't start to show until after 20 weeks. With my first I didn't start to show until 26 weeks.

It is my first, and I am not a stick so I have some time.  

Y0urm0m

ninji15 said:

Y0urm0m said:

ninji15 said:

Y0urm0m said:

Don't tell them during the interview. If you get the job don't tell them until after your probation period is up. If you tell them before they can and will not hire you or fire you before your probation Is up for "other reasons"

So just lie about appointments then I guess? I am more comfortable keeping it to myself, but usually probation is 90 days. I will start to show, and if I have any complications I may have to take it easy (as I have stated in other threads something is up with my liver?).  

I mean you can make other excuses. If you feel the need to explain your Drs appointment tell them you are having health issues. There is no need to elaborate. I wouldn't consider it lying. Is this your first child? Typically you won't start to show until after 20 weeks. With my first I didn't start to show until 26 weeks.

It is my first, and I am not a stick so I have some time.  

Yeah you'll be fine. Good luck on your interview. You got this.

stillcozy

I guess my thoughts are different is really a positive to start a job off with deceit? Like not being honest about dr's appointments? Obviously job hunting while pregnant is no easy task I absolutely trust your judgement and many of the women here but just be careful about answers that they are not lies.

ninji15

Lindsayleigh1989 said:

I guess my thoughts are different is really a positive to start a job off with deceit? Like not being honest about dr's appointments? Obviously job hunting while pregnant is no easy task I absolutely trust your judgement and many of the women here but just be careful about answers that they are not lies.

Thats exactly what I am torn about too, I suppose I will get a feel for the company during my interview. And if they like me I will have to approach it then with whatever I decide. Before I accept a job I want to know about how flexible the schedule is, if its paid leave and for how long, is there a lot of lifting, and many other things I can't ask without raising an eyebrow. I don't want it to seem like I am fatally ill with all my appointments either. I truly and more comfortable with them not knowing. Mainly because I don't want to be treated differently either, I am in a very male dominant field (IT/System Support). So, hence the thread. lol

stillcozy

@ninji15 I think that's a great idea to ask a lot of questions because then you can get a great idea of how flexible they will be and if you can conceal it. also then you could find out if you could schedule appointments before or after work too so that you don't even have to have reasons to leave.

MDmomma1217

On one hand, others are correct in saying that it is illegal to not hire based on pregnancy or if you have other children. On the other hand, just me personally, I would mention it for my own conscious. When I started a new job 5 years ago, I wanted to be honest that I needed time to arrange for child care before I started. Luckily (I didn't know at first of course) my organization is very accommodating and understanding with family issues (whether it be kids, SO's, etc).

soberkfell

I think it's perfectly fine to not mention you are pregnant during an initial interview. You will have time to ask questions either in a second-round interview or when they make you an offer. Unless they broach the topic of benefits in your first meeting, they might think you're getting ahead of yourself anyway. I don't think it's deceitful to not say anything initially as that's a chance any company takes hiring a woman of child-bearing age. I got pregnant 3 months after starting a new job, and DH and I had been trying for over a year. During the application process, I waited until benefits were brought up before asking about maternity leave, etc. I didn't feel compelled to let them know ahead of time that I was trying to add to my family (different from your situation, I know). If a company doesn't hire you or fires you because you're pregnant, I wouldn't think they'd be a place where you'd want to work anyway. Good luck with your interview!

matryoshkadoll

I think mentioning it actually puts them in an awkward position. They will have to try to be objective even though they know. Good luck!

thebigoaktree

About the dr apts. legally no one can ask you what you have an appointment for, that is something you can sue over so none of their business. It's up to you if you want to share or not and legally they can't fire you for being pregnant, they can find a way to fire you for something else. NH has a law that you can be fired for any reason and not be told why. It's really up to you what you want to do.

ncm1919

I think it is such a female reaction to feel guilty about this. I'm on a sales team and felt the same way at first. Then I realized this was a perfect time to start acting like a man in the work place. None of the men I work with would think twice about telling their bosses something that could be financially limiting unless they were legally obligated. I'm waiting until I have no choice.

For me at least, this was a great learning experience and gave me the opportunity to look at some the things that I might be doing that limit my career growth. I'm in a sales position so it's pretty cutthroat.

ncm1919

Completely off topic, but last year I decided to take what ever my gut reaction at work was and do the exact opposite. My motto was if you're not uncomfortable, you're not doing right. Worked like a charm. I didn't throw my ethics away just went about it a bit different.

Don't want to present in front of 100 people? Get your ass up there and kill it Remain silent while you have an opinion? F- that, the idiots I work with say their uneducated opinion constantly and I'm smarter than all of them.

Changing some of the typical gender roles- women are bitchy if they are opinionated, best not to make people are uncomfortable- made all the difference in the world. I grew and made more money. It's on my New Years resolution list this year too. kinda petered out this summer. Going against your natural instinct and being uncomfortable is tough.

realhousewife519

I just had a job interview a few days ago. I was 13 weeks 4 days. My plan was to disclose the pregnancy, either at the 2nd interview, or at the first interview if it went well. Even though I am not legally obligated to disclose, I am looking for a long term fit with the next company I join. If this company is going to turn their nose up at a pregnancy, I would rather know that now, before I commit to working there for the long term. In addition, I wanted to start the relationship off with full disclosure and not have to have that awkward conversation a few weeks in to starting the job (seems more stressful that way). Sure enough, the interview went well and I disclosed the pregnancy as it came up quite naturally. She did not seem fazed by the news at all. I'm not 100% sure that I will get the job or whether I would accept the position, but I feel good about how the interview played out. Your situation may be different if you really need this job. You'll have to do whatever you feel most comfortable with. Good luck! 

jennyleigh16

I think if I were in the same situation and I disclosed and then didn't get the job I'd forever wonder if that was the reason why and it would drive me crazy. 

ninji15

jennyleigh16 said:

I think if I were in the same situation and I disclosed and then didn't get the job I'd forever wonder if that was the reason why and it would drive me crazy. 

True

ninji15

Bumping this again. I applied for another position. It specified:

• Ability to climb ladders and lift up to 50 pounds.

So. I can do this when not pregnant at least so I applied. I do this at my job now, but I have helpers now also. I have an interview now, should I have just not applied? Opinions? Ideas? Job searching while pregnant is turning out to be a struggle...

My issue being I do not qualify for assistance now, but cannot afford to be without it after the baby. I need a better paying job or a lower paying job to get assistance. Crappy. 

MamaBish

ninji15 said:

Bumping this again. I applied for another position. It specified:

• Ability to climb ladders and lift up to 50 pounds.

So. I can do this when not pregnant at least so I applied. I do this at my job now, but I have helpers now also. I have an interview now, should I have just not applied? Opinions? Ideas? Job searching while pregnant is turning out to be a struggle...

My issue being I do not qualify for assistance now, but cannot afford to be without it after the baby. I need a better paying job or a lower paying job to get assistance. Crappy. 

I think, in this instance, just be upfront about it. Let them know that normally, ladders and 50 pounds is fine, but for now, you would need accommodations. What's the worst that could happen? They say no, no big deal. Worth a try!

tmk0325

Lurking form August..

i just wanted to comment because I am in a similar position. I lost my job on July 31 and have been searching since then. So far, since I found out I was pregnant I have only disclosed once that I was pregnant during the interview process. I think that it is perfectly acceptable to wait until you are offered the job to make that disclosure. For me, I am interviewing for a work from home position that requires travel and my first 4 interviews have been via Skype (yes, 4!). It wasn't until I was one of two final candidates and they offered to fly me in to meet in person that I asked to speak to who would be my supervisor. I didn't want to accept the in person interview if I didn't feel they would accommodate (not only am I pregnant, I'm pregnant with twins). They have been great during the interview process and since I told them. Granted I still might not get the job, however I feel good about the way it played out. I head to Phoenix on Friday for my in person interview.

Good luck to you and just do what feels right at the time!