overweight & not feeling baby — The Bump
June 2016 Moms

overweight & not feeling baby

Hey ladies. I've been a little MIA because I've been really down lately. I started this pregnancy overweight and I'm sharing this experience with my very thin sister. She is only about 5 weeks ahead of me and she has been feeling her baby move for the past 3 weeks. For the past 2 we can all feel him kicking at her stomach.

She has a beautiful pregnancy belly and everything just seems so great for her. As for me, I can sometimes feel my baby move inside but don't have the opportunity to share this with my boyfriend because you can't feel her kick my stomach.

I'm 18 weeks in a few days and I read online that if you are over weight you may never feel the baby and you may not actually ever look pregnant, just fat. I've wanted to experience pregnancy as long as I can remember and I'm just so sad that I'm not getting the full experience. Are there any overweight moms who can share their experience or advice? I've been losing weight since being pregnant, but I still don't feel or look pregnant really.

Re: overweight & not feeling baby

  • Hang in there and you and everyone else will start feeling movement. Your baby still has room to move around in there, so as it keeps growing, the movements will get stronger. Also remember, every pregnancy is different, and evey baby is different. I've seen "larger" women with big pregnant bellies and petite women with hardly any belly at all. Your sisters baby may be more active, and she's further along, which can make a huge difference. I'm sure you're a beautiful momma-to-be and soon you will have a beautiful little baby to show off!
  • Just wanted to say, it is still pretty early. With my first, I wasn't positive that I felt his movement until 19/20 weeks and it didn't get really consistent for a few weeks after that. I'm not overweight, but I would think if you give it a few more weeks, you will likely start to feel movement. When they get further along and start to weigh more, they get pretty strong!!
    DS1 5-18-2012
    DS2 5-18-2014
    DD1 EDD 6-21-2016

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  • Aww don't feel bad!! I was over weight with my first, trust me you will look pregnant! Dont read anything online it's all someone's BS opinion! Pregnancies are like babies, each one is different and special and YOURS! Don't let anyone take that away from you, Including yourself. I know what your going through my BF and I went through the first pregnancy together and she was TINY! I had to hide her from my FB news feed because I let it make me feel bad.
  • First of all, you WILL feel the baby move! I think you misread that online, about overweight women not feeling the baby move. I suppose that maybe a severely obese woman may never feel the baby move from the outside of her belly. But everyone feels it from the inside! I do know that some factors can make what you feel less obvious than what another woman may feel, but you'll eventually still feel something!

    As far as not looking pregnant, that mostly only applies to severely obese women also. By week 20 to week 24, I bet you'll look super cute and pregnant. I only know one person who never looked pregnant, and she was probably 350+ pounds, and had her baby early at 25 weeks.
  • I bet yours will sttn and hers will be colicky. Lol. Seriously though, if you start comparing so early on in the babies' lives when will it stop? Enjoy your own miracle. You will look pregnant I'm sure. I was overweight w my first two and you could feel them kick no problem after 20 weeks or so.
  • Hi there! I have a gorgeous "larger" girlfriend who got the most beautiful baby tummy! And we could certainly feel that baby kicking in no time! Don't worry at all... Or beat yourself up about it! :)

    I only started feeling the baby move last week (18 weeks) but my hubby still can't feel him kicking through my tummy... Doctor says he might be able to feel baby by the time we get to 22 or 24 weeks! I think it's just different for everyone.
  • I wanted to add that not all babies are very active. My first was very active and DH couldn't feel him move until 22 weeks. He never felt my second move due to a quiet baby and an anterior placenta. I was 220 at delivery with my first and looked very pregnant. I'm sure you will too!

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  • alysemciveralysemciver
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
    edited December 2015
    I'm not overweight with this pregnancy or my last one and I can assure you, I'm 16 weeks and haven't felt a thing and with my first pregnancy I didn't feel anything until at least 20 weeks! Let alone anyone else feeling him. Your weight may completely be a non issue! It will happen mama. All babies and bodies are different, some of us take longer than others for whatever reason to feel something

    For reference I was 5'6" and a size 5
  • I haven't read a lot of the posts above. I'm a full figured mama, too. I found this site: http://plussizebirth.com/ and it has been a godsend. 

    This is my second pregnancy, so at 16 weeks I've felt a couple flutters but nothing crazy. I think I was closer to 20 weeks before I felt my first baby kick. There are a lot of factors that will play a part in when you feel your baby kick (amniotic fluid levels, placental location, activity of baby and what time they are active). 

    You will feel your baby. My daughter used to have hiccups constantly. I was late to work one day because I refused to move until her hiccups stopped because I loved feeling them.
  • There is so much that affects when you feel your baby. I'm thin and 17 weeks and still don't feel mine, and this is my 4th pregnancy. I have a tilted uterus, and two of my pregnancies so far I had my placenta in the front buffering movement. It also depends on how active your baby is. My most active child I felt earliest and he moved so much! I'm hoping no movement yet for me this time means this is a more mild child.
  • I am not overweight but I have an anterior placenta so I don't expect to feel any movement until later on. At least that's what the ultrasound tech told me to expect. Hang in there :)
    Daisypath - nBGk

    Lilypie - GQnA

  • I can assure you that every woman here is beautiful and doing an amazing thing in their journey to being a mommy!! It's easy to be hard on ourselves instead of thinking about the miracle we're doing! Don't get down on yourself and try your best to not compare yourself to anyone else and embrace being pregnant :)
  • I'm heavy so this post has been a delight to read--thanks to everyone for sharing their stories and pictures. 
  • I'm a super skinny chicken-legs kinda girl BUT wanted to encourage you about not feeling the baby. I am on my third baby--- they say you feel your subsequent babies the most and earlier than your first. Totally opposite of me. I didn't feel my second baby until after 20 weeks- I told the ultrasound tech that I was worried that I barely felt the baby and my husband still couldn't feel the baby at 20 weeks. She said "well that makes sense because your placenta is in the front! So when your baby is kicking, it's actually kicking e placenta and not you!" That made me feel SO MUCH better.
  • My computer is being crazy! But just wanted to end my saying- there are reasons you may not be feeling the baby yet that are totally normal and healthy. Don't get down on yourself! You are a beautiful momma no matter the size and you will probably feel him/her very soon! 
  • I'm sooo happy someone else is feeling the same way I am!! I'm 16 wks... Still no movement but I have faith that will happen... I'm very overweight and have been feeling down about not looking pregnant since about day 1! I know it's still really early but all I want is to look pregnant! We're having trouble finding a date for my baby shower so it keeps getting moved earlier and earlier... I actually cried the other night because I'm afraid I won't even look pregnant at my shower! I'm sure June 17 and so far the shower will be April 23... I keep having to tell myself I should be feeling blessed.. There are countless women who would kill to be pregnant but not show.. One day at a time and hopefully one day
  • No matter how much extra weight you're carrying, there's no extra fat between baby and your internal organs -- you'll feel it! If it makes you feel better, my first pregnancy was the first time since middle school that I felt confident about my appearance. I loved being able to show off my belly for once rather than sucking it in all the time! It takes some time to get through the awkward early is-she-or-isn't-she stage. I can't wait to look really pregnant again.
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  • Stop losing weight!

    Whether or not you feel baby isn't really a matter of weight. I'm over-weight and could feel baby SUPER early. (This is my 4th pregnancy.) I haven't felt baby in a while and I'm 17 weeks today, but many people (big and small!) don't feel their babies until they're 22 weeks!

    You WILL look pregnant, and you and your BF WILL feel baby.

    My number one suggestion is to not stress over anything. (But of course that's not going to happen. Mom's love the stress!) ;) (Me included.)
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  • @Boonhilde I've lost weight with all 4 of my pregnancies and not on purpose. It's possible she had morning sickness or, like me, food aversion. OP never said she was losing weight on purpose...

    But yes, every baby is different. I felt my first at 16 weeks, second at 14, never felt my third (lost at 19 weeks) and just now felt this one at 16 weeks. I'm slightly overweight after so many pregnancies (4 in 4 years) but wasnt with my first. Weight hasn't seemed to make any difference. Believe me, you'll feel them soon enough! :smiley:

  • I was overweight with my last baby and with these. I definitely had a bump and you could feel and see the baby moving. Probably wasn't until later in the pregnancy. 18 weeks seems really early. At this point, most of us just feel flutters now and then.

    Don't worry about this. And try not to compare to other pregnancies. My friend had no morning sickness with her pregnancy and it used to drive me nuts. Really not worth the added stress. Try to focus on yourself and your baby, maybe get some pampering this week - nails, shopping, etc. it's all really stressful and you deserve a break!
  • @Boonhilde thx. My weight loss came from food aversion. In the beginning I just couldn't eat anything. Now, I'm definitely able to eat so I'll see my weight at my next appointment. Ladies, This post has really encouraged me and I feel more positive about this.
  • I can totally relate. As some of you have already been there for me when I've talked about my insecurities with being at my heaviest now after getting married this year and now pregnant. I was 215 at our wedding in March (I'm 5.10') and now I'm 260 at 18 weeks pregnant. I think it comes down to knowing that this time of growing our little ones inside of us is the most important. I keep reminding myself to be kind with my thoughts because our bodies can truly sense it. I plan to focus on my health when baby arrives but right now all I can do is continue to eat as healthily as I can and to keep this precious miracle safe. Like a pp has said, we are all so beautiful and are going to be beautiful mothers! As far as feeling the baby move, I'm 18 weeks and still not sure if I've felt her or not. Ive felt what I think are flutters but they could have been anything lol. I'm sure that you will feel your baby.. For now. Love on yourself and know you're awesome mama!!
    DH - 24; Me: 26
    Married 3/7/15
    Expecting Baby #1: 06/06/2016
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  • I'm thin and i don't feel babies til about 19 to 20 weeks and right now i just look like i ate too much

    Married 11/27/09 and TTC right away
    Dx: Complete septate uterus with cervical duplication, endometrial polyps, PCOS, endometriosis, hypo thyroid, luteal phase defect
    4 uterus surgeries to correct my complete septum and to remove polyps and 2 years of seeing the RE, medicated cycles and IUIs
    Baby 1 and 2: BFP 3/3/11 with 2 babies EDD 11/1/11, M/C 4/6/11
    Baby #3: 8/11 pregnant EDD 4/27/11 and m/c:(
    Baby #4: 10/12/11 BFP! EDD 6/16/12m/c 10/26/11
    Baby #5: 3/13/12 BFP! EDD 11/25/12 ANOTHER m/c :(

    Baby #6: 2/14/13- BFP! EDD 10/24/13, CP 2/19/13
    Baby #7: 3/15/13- BFP! EDD 11/27/13, another CP
    Baby #8.  BFP 5/19/13 EDD 1/22/14. 8 was not our lucky number

    4th septum resection on 5/31/13.
    Baby #9: 6/29/13 BFP. C section scheduled for March 5th!

    My miracle baby was born March 5 at 9:33am. He was 8 lbs 12.5 oz and 21.25 inches long!


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