Pregnant after a Loss

When did you start to feel confident in your pregancy?

It seems that every U/S, I get a little more confident: from excited about BFP but not about pregnancy to happy there was a baby at 7 weeks, but not excited to a little more confident and less "cautiously optimistic" at 11w to YAY! finally permission to get excited with a positive 13w nuchal!

I gave my mom permission to tell outside people today. I'm not doing any facebook announcement (just because I have found them so painful as I watched so many get their babies and I still have friends who are searching for a partner/want a family/and are 40 now). Going to tell MIL she can tell tonight. But I hold both feelings of confidence and fear. Par for the course for those who have gotten burned, I guess.

When did you start to feel more confident, like it was finally ok to start making your long term plans? Or did you always go day by day? Interested in your perspective, ladies!



*****Losses Mentioned*****BFP MENTIONED*****ALL WELCOME******ALL ABOARD!!

Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.

DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!

Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!




BabyGaga

Re: When did you start to feel confident in your pregancy?

  • 5w4d here, so no confidence yet!  But if I measure on track after 8 weeks, I'll feel pretty good.  And then when I get the MaterniT21 test after 10 weeks, I think I'll feel confident.  For now, I look at a chart every day to see my odds of miscarriage.  It sounds morbid, but seeing the number go down helps me.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













  • Right now, it is day-by-day at 5w4d (or 5w2d, not sure).  My RE will do an ultrasound around week 6 or 7 (depending on when I get the nerve to call and tell them I'm pregnant), so if all looks good then...I will feel a little better.  I think since having a loss I will always worry no matter what week I am, but in my head, if I can make it to week 14 I will be ecstatic!  Which is February and seems so far away.
  • Loading the player...
  • I always went day by day..but not baby choice, of course. I was just petrified. I did worry much less once I could feel the baby move, but still not confident if that makes sense!
  • I didn't start breathing easier until my 16wk ultrasound.  I had fallen down the stairs and was so scared that I had killed the baby that I was a wreck, but then they brought me in for the U/S and baby was just fine and moving all around.  It was my first big breathe since March when I found out about my MMC.  Now that I feel baby move daily I'm much more calm, but if she sleeps in and doesn't move by noon I automatically panic and give myself a time frame where if she doesn't move by this time I will freak and she always gives me a swift kick to let me know she is okay.

    When I was earlier along and waiting to be out of the first trimester I looked for rainbows I know that sounds silly but she is our little rainbow and it was the only thing that would convince me of things being okay.

    23wks today and I can't wait for the next 17 so I can meet my little person.
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
  • Im 6 weeks 2 days. I miscarried september 18th, 2015. I had one period after and pregnant again. Before, I spotted starting 14th then clots and heavy bleeding was 18th. I am so worried this time I didnt make it this far last time I was 5 1/2 weeks when I had mc. I cant find a doctor and I am concidered high risk. Ive been having nausea, headaches, fatigue, peeing a lot, and sort of stretchy pains in abdomin.

    Last time my hcg level at 14 dpo was 18 and 43 at 16 dpo. Only 700 when 5 1/2 weeks. But at 5 weeks 3 days this time hcg levels was almost 6000 so im confident its going better but still not getting too excited until im at least 14 weeks. In 2005 I miscarried at 11 weeks but baby was only 9 weeks. I almost died from the blood loss. But I just feel good about this one. Ive had only 2 mc and I have 4 kids already but havent had a kid in 9 years so I feel like it's my first all over again cuz I forgot how everything went lol.
  • I'm 17 weeks almost 18 and I feel more and more depressed as time goes on. I always feel like I'm going to lose the baby at any time or that I already have. I think just coping and talking to people about how you feel will make you feel better.
  • Day by day for me. My "high risk" doctor keeps saying she looks great, she's growing right on schedule... That helps but I'm so jaded. I personally lost my DD at 16w4d so to get past that milestone was so hard for me... I felt a little more confident but then this spotting happened at 17w4d and threw me back to being insecure about everything. I'll feel a little more confident after 20w but nothing will help until she's in my arms.
  • To keep my sanity I vowed to let go of my anxiety at 12 weeks. I understand that anything can happen but I personally can't live in doom. This will be our second and last baby so I want to allow myself to enjoy this pregnancy so I don't miss it when we're done.
  • "To keep my sanity I vowed to let go of my anxiety at 12 weeks. I understand that anything can happen but I personally can't live in doom. This will be our second and last baby so I want to allow myself to enjoy this pregnancy so I don't miss it when we're done."

    I loved this! I'm going to try and do this. I'm 11 weeks today. Time to start acting like maybe this could happen and stop saying "if". Like "if we have this baby" etc. I wish I could just have daily ultrasounds. Lol
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • I have moments when I feel confident and moments where I am sure that I have already lost the baby and won't find out until next doctors appointment. Overall my heart tells me this pregnancy is good and that every thing is OK. Knowing what I know about MMC now though makes me aware that any thing can happen and I might have no clue. Just wish I had more frequent doctor visits. I can't WAIT until I can feel the baby move. :-)

    Whenever I am getting nervous and wondering how baby is doing, husband puts his ear to my stomach and listens intently. Then he tells me both baby and food baby say hello. The fact that he gets my anxiety and does every thing he can to get me to stop worrying helps.
  • edited December 2015

    rkrichey I also have switched to "if" the baby happens to "when".

    Plleriti1  I like the not living in gloom. Hoping and expecting can't make bad things happen. Of course, every milestone counts.

    June2016BabyW  Your husband sounds awesome. And I also follow my gut, which is saying positive things.


    My therapist who specializes in infertility recommended Pregnancy after a Loss (which I am avoiding bc it talks about late term loss and worse--can't go there, as well as MCs). There is also a pregnancy and post partum anxiety workbook she recommended that is on the list. it can be found on amazon.

    *****Losses Mentioned*****BFP MENTIONED*****ALL WELCOME******ALL ABOARD!!

    Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
    Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
    Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.

    DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!

    Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!




    BabyGaga
  • At 19w2d I'm still not "confident". I keep setting new milestones for myself thinking after x week I'll feel better or after x appointment and those weeks and appointments come and go and only bring temporary relief. I will say I do feel better now than I did in the first trimester, but I don't think confidence will come until I'm holding her in my arms.. Or maybe not even until we get home from the hospital.

    I agree with others that feeling kicks really helps and so does getting a little bigger. Having a good anatomy scan was probably the best I've felt all pregnancy and the most real this has felt. At that point I actually let myself fall in love with our little girl. Can't wait until April! :)

  • edited December 2015
    I am 20w3d today and now that I feel my son moving daily, I feel less anxiety but I really don't think that fear ever goes away. We've gone through all of our genetic testing and screening at this point, and passed the nuchal and anatomy scans with no issues being raised. Just in the last two weeks did I finally let myself buy something for this baby. Last week was my original scheduled delivery date, and that was hard, but I'm focused on this pregnancy now and can hardly wait to meet my precious son. My best advice is to try to enjoy everyday in your current pregnancy, as milestones pass, I pray the weight on your heart is lightened a little more.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Pregnancy20ticker
    Beautiful Daughter 11/08/2002
    Miscarriage 04/21/2015
    Rainbow Sugar Baby due 04/22/2016, C Section Scheduled for 04/08/2016
  • I'm 40w&5d and I'm still nervous. I think I will be till I get to hold him in my arms. Everyone is different on their comfort level. I didn't even tell people till I was 24 weeks so I may be slower than others :)

    BFP #1 April 14th, 2014 MMC at 17weeks with a baby boy D&E

    BFP # 2 March 23rd, Rainbow Baby Boy Jayce Michael born 12/9/15

    BFP#3 January 26th EDD October 9th! Hoping for my girl!

     <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1dbf8a" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0" /></a>

  • Hi. I had a MC 8/2014 at 4weeks and am 7w1d pregnant now. I was so scared and nervous I wouldn't even come back to this app! Until yesterday when I went for my first prenatal visit. We saw a heartbeat. A beautiful steady heartbeat. Now I feel more confident. But I am still talking in ifs and hopes!!
  • I'm just over 18 weeks and becoming more and more stressed ... My daughter was stillborn at 28 weeks and the closer I get to that, the more worried I get. I have an ultrasound on Thursday but my shrinking bump has had me going insane this past week. I don't even look or feel pregnant anymore!! My DH has been reassuring but I have this horrible feeling something isn't right.
  • @kwrightnb  I'm so sorry about your loss. I just can't fathom these late losses. I'm not sure if you've looked into resources, but I am seeing a special therapist who suggested "Pregnant after a loss." Also the pregnancy and postpartum anxiety handbook which I just ordered. Maybe you could check it out. I hope you can get in to see your doc and you can get some peace on your current situation.
    *****Losses Mentioned*****BFP MENTIONED*****ALL WELCOME******ALL ABOARD!!

    Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
    Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
    Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.

    DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!

    Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!




    BabyGaga
  • My DH just read this and thinks going to find a book might be a big help ! Thank you for your reply :) makes me feel a little bit better
  • I felt confident after my 20 week ultrasound because everything looked good, and I could feel the baby move by then.  However, now that I'm 37 weeks, I'm nervous all over again! I made the mistake of reading about the increasing risk of stillbirth the longer pregnancy goes on. Of course, the risk is still very small, but I'm such a worrier after two prior miscarriages. 
  • With my last pregnancy, I was confident in my baby's survival immediately- we told everyone.

    Now...different story. I'll feel amazing at the dating ultrasound. I'll feel even better at 12 weeks.
  • According to my date of conception (positive opk) I'm abt 4w3d along and just found out today that I am pregnant. Of course dh and I will tell our mothers and my sister (who is a RN) but I will be waiting I think until late 2nd trimester or when I really can't hide it anymore to make any announcements. I've lost 2 babies, one at 17w6d and my last at 21w5d in 2007 and 2009, respectively. Im excited but also so worried because I am 35 years old. My ObGyn has me as high-risk and I've already seen a perinatologist prior to getting pregnant and we have a treatment plan for when I do get pregnant (which is now). It's just that I want to feel the same abandon of excitement that I felt the first time I was pregnant, but I know I will always have worry until my baby is in my arms.

    _____________________________________________________

    Me (35), DH (35), Angel Boy 1/17/07 @ 16w6d, Angel Girl 8/19/09 @ 21w6d, Rainbow Baby EDD 8/16/16

  • I am 4w4d and after having two early mc this past year I'm just focusing on getting to my first appt without experiencing spotting. I requested my first appt to be at 9w instead of 7or8. Because I've seen the heartbeat at 7w and still lost (but of course I was bleeding already then too). So come on Jan. 25! Cant get here soon enough. I believe 9w I will be a LOT more confident but 13 weeks I will actually breathe again.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"