Pot luck shower — The Bump
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Pot luck shower

I was invited to a shower that is this coming weekend. It was tacky enough that I was invited via Facebook, but now I see that it's also a pot luck! I just can't wait to see what other tackiness rears its ugly head this weekend. 

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Re: Pot luck shower

  • hahaha, have fun!!
    only way I'd be going to that shower is if it was a very close family member or friend. i was invited to a shower by a girl who threw her own shower via FB. we arent even friends, really. but once she found out i was pregnant too, it was like she suddenly thought that made us BFF's -.-
  • I don't envy you. Good luck with that.
    nlwz123
  • I wouldn't go. Absolutely not.
  • I'm going, but I'm sure as hell not taking any food. I was telling my SO about it and he didn't understand at first. I explained to him that it's throwing a gift giving party that you're also expected to cater and you could see the light go on. 

    @kyraaD I have one of those too. She's a FTM, but due a month after me and she messages me all day every day with questions. 

    The only plus I see so far is that she's actually not throwing this herself, but she does know that it's turned into a potluck. 

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  • I'm going, but I'm sure as hell not taking any food. I was telling my SO about it and he didn't understand at first. I explained to him that it's throwing a gift giving party that you're also expected to cater and you could see the light go on. 

    @kyraaD I have one of those too. She's a FTM, but due a month after me and she messages me all day every day with questions. 

    The only plus I see so far is that she's actually not throwing this herself, but she does know that it's turned into a potluck. 
    Oh come on. Take a fruit platter. It's not that big of a deal. If you are above potluck baby showers then don't go.

     

    bikramlassMrsrundell
  • Oh come on. Take a fruit platter. It's not that big of a deal. If you are above potluck baby showers then don't go. 
    You're joking, right?

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    fwtx5815Sarcasm101
  • Take food you can eat. There might be nothing good. :)
    KyCat
  • Baby'smom said:
    Take food you can eat. There might be nothing good. :)
    I have heartburn so bad that I can't really eat anything without suffering. The way I see it is I didn't agree to host this shower, so why am I to feed her guests?

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    Sassenach1743lalala2004
  • edited December 2015
    Nope. I didn't mean to sound nasty to you but I definitely wasn't joking.

    The way I see it, I'm only invited to baby showers by very close girlfriends so to me, I don't mind bringing food if I know ahead of time it's a potluck. I personally wouldn't want MY baby shower to be a potluck but this really isn't a big deal to me. It's definitely not something I'd come to TB and make fun of :(

    I also think it's sort of shitty that you have such a negative outlook on this and you haven't even attended yet. You are going there hoping to find things to make fun of. Why even go at all? Think about how that would make your friend feel. It sucks.

    We're not close at all. I know her through facebook and we've only met a few times. If it were a family thing, I wouldn't side-eye it but to me this is asking for your friends to cater your party. The shower is Sunday and it was just posted in the party yesterday that it's potluck. You can think I'm a shitty person if you want, I can't stop you, but I thought pretty much everyone was in agreement that potluck showers are tacky. 

    The sentence that "I just can't wait to see what other tackiness rears its ugly head" was sarcasm. I hope she has a lovely shower outside of this. The thing with showers (when you're not planning your own) is that it's out of your control what your hostess(es) decide to do. It may not even have been her desire to do it this way.

    I also have a baby on the way as well as 4 friends other than this one with babies due around the same time as me. I can't afford to take a gift and spend additional money on food for all of them.

    eta - I didn't think you were being nasty. I seriously thought you were being sarcastic because I thought you usually were against this kind of thing. I still don't think you're being nasty and I'm not either. 

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    Bigboobsmcgee
  • I searched and found this thread from last year. It makes my point perfectly.


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    Bigboobsmcgee
  • Nope. I didn't mean to sound nasty to you but I definitely wasn't joking.

    The way I see it, I'm only invited to baby showers by very close girlfriends so to me, I don't mind bringing food if I know ahead of time it's a potluck. I personally wouldn't want MY baby shower to be a potluck but this really isn't a big deal to me. It's definitely not something I'd come to TB and make fun of :(

    I also think it's sort of shitty that you have such a negative outlook on this and you haven't even attended yet. You are going there hoping to find things to make fun of. Why even go at all? Think about how that would make your friend feel. It sucks.

    We're not close at all. I know her through facebook and we've only met a few times. If it were a family thing, I wouldn't side-eye it but to me this is asking for your friends to cater your party. The shower is Sunday and it was just posted in the party yesterday that it's potluck. You can think I'm a shitty person if you want, I can't stop you, but I thought pretty much everyone was in agreement that potluck showers are tacky. 

    The sentence that "I just can't wait to see what other tackiness rears its ugly head" was sarcasm. I hope she has a lovely shower outside of this. The thing with showers (when you're not planning your own) is that it's out of your control what your hostess(es) decide to do. It may not even have been her desire to do it this way.

    I also have a baby on the way as well as 4 friends other than this one with babies due around the same time as me. I can't afford to take a gift and spend additional money on food for all of them.

    eta - I didn't think you were being nasty. I seriously thought you were being sarcastic because I thought you usually were against this kind of thing. I still don't think you're being nasty and I'm not either. 
    Maybe it's just me, but I only wanted my closest friends and family at my shower. I wouldn't invite people I sort of know and I wouldn't want the invites to come via facebook. It is weird how her hostess is going about this. I wouldn't be happy.

     

  • edited December 2015
    If you're not close dont go.
    BigboobsmcgeeVOR


  • Maybe it's just me, but I only wanted my closest friends and family at my shower. I wouldn't invite people I sort of know and I wouldn't want the invites to come via facebook. It is weird how her hostess is going about this. I wouldn't be happy.
    Right. The people I've invited are people I talk to at least a couple times a month. My hostesses asked if I would be okay with Facebook invites and I told them absolutely not. I think people expect too much out of their shower and then you end up with stuff like this.

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  • Definitely rude to ask shower guests to basically host themselves by bringing a gift AND food. The hostess shouldn't have offered to throw a shower if providing small snacks and punch wasn't feasible. It doesn't have to be a big fancy spread, finger foods at a non-meal time would be perfectly fine. 
    Update us if you do decide to go!
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    nlwz123DrillSergeantCat
  • fwtx5815 said:
    Definitely rude to ask shower guests to basically host themselves by bringing a gift AND food. The hostess shouldn't have offered to throw a shower if providing small snacks and punch wasn't feasible. It doesn't have to be a big fancy spread, finger foods at a non-meal time would be perfectly fine. 
    Update us if you do decide to go!
    I'm probably going. I'm just not taking food. The funny thing is the hostess IS providing snacks and drinks so there was no need to turn it into a potluck.

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  • Why just not go and be done with it? I wouldn't want a "friend" like you at my shower, no matter what the circumstances are.
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    Missingchampagnebikramlass
  • nlwz123 said:


    Corts said:

    Why just not go and be done with it? I wouldn't want a "friend" like you at my shower, no matter what the circumstances are.

    Well, I wouldn't want a "friend" that invites me via facebook to a baby shower where I also have to provide the food (and only lets me know this days before the event).


    I'm sorry, who are you?


    Sorry honey but this is a public forum. If you want a private group where you secretly fixate on the horrors of shower etiquette, then make a FB group. I don't need to know a damn thing about the OP aside from the pettiness of this post. Who knows maybe she herself will become the object of ridicule after she showsn. up to this shower with her cheap gift, no dish and her nose in the air?? Oh, the horror...
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    bikramlass
  • Corts said:
    Why just not go and be done with it? I wouldn't want a "friend" like you at my shower, no matter what the circumstances are.
    I'm going because, even though we're more acquaintances than friends, I want to see my other friends that are going. If the hostess ridicules ME for not hosting the party she agreed to host, that's on her. Funny how you assume I'm taking a "cheap gift" too. 

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  • CortsCorts
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    edited December 2015
    Corts said:
    Why just not go and be done with it? I wouldn't want a "friend" like you at my shower, no matter what the circumstances are.
    I'm going because, even though we're more acquaintances than friends, I want to see my other friends that are going. If the hostess ridicules ME for not hosting the party she agreed to host, that's on her. Funny how you assume I'm taking a "cheap gift" too. 
    **Removed for TOU Violation** 
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  • edited December 2015
    Corts said:
    **Removed for TOU Violation** 
    You don't know me at all to be making these assumptions. I've known her baby's father for years. He was good friends with my dad before he passed away. Three other women that I do consider friends are going. So even though I don't know this woman very well, I want to support her and her SO with their new baby. Of course, I need money. I have a baby on the way, bills to pay, 4 other friends with baby's due around the same time as me, and I'm a student who has to pay for my education. If you have extra money lying around, good for you, but most of us don't. 

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  • edited December 2015
    Corts said:
    Corts said:
    Why just not go and be done with it? I wouldn't want a "friend" like you at my shower, no matter what the circumstances are.
    I'm going because, even though we're more acquaintances than friends, I want to see my other friends that are going. If the hostess ridicules ME for not hosting the party she agreed to host, that's on her. Funny how you assume I'm taking a "cheap gift" too. 
    **Removed for TOU Violation** 
    Bless your heart.

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  • nlwz123nlwz123
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    edited December 2015
    Corts said:
    Corts said:
    Why just not go and be done with it? I wouldn't want a "friend" like you at my shower, no matter what the circumstances are.
    Well, I wouldn't want a "friend" that invites me via facebook to a baby shower where I also have to provide the food (and only lets me know this days before the event).


    I'm sorry, who are you?
    Sorry honey but this is a public forum. If you want a private group where you secretly fixate on the horrors of shower etiquette, then make a FB group. I don't need to know a damn thing about the OP aside from the pettiness of this post. Who knows maybe she herself will become the object of ridicule after she showsn. up to this shower with her cheap gift, no dish and her nose in the air?? Oh, the horror...


    ---------------------------------------


    lol, whatever you say honey.

    Edit:  The irony of you accusing her to be thriving on drama is almost too much for my heart to handle.  I'll expect more angry comments in 3...2...1....




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  • CortsCorts
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    edited December 2015
    Corts said:
    **Removed for TOU Violation**
    You don't know me at all to be making these assumptions. I've known her baby's father for years. He was good friends with my dad before he passed away. Three other women that I do consider friends are going. So even though I don't know this woman very well, I want to support her and her SO with their new baby. Of course, I need money. I have a baby on the way, bills to pay, 4 other friends with baby's due around the same time as me, and I'm a student who has to pay for my education. If you have extra money lying around, good for you, but most of us don't. 
    If you can't scrounge up like $3.00 for a box of cookies on the way there, but yet insist on blessing this poor "friend" with your presence at her shower so that you can continue to make fun of her and her host...um well yes, that is someone who thrives on drama. In the time you've spent justifying yourself here , you could have made a pasta salad for under $2.00. Or better yet, rsvp'd NO. You seem to mistake the small gesture of contributing a cheap food item for "catering her party". Please. I feel bad for you, you seem to have a distorted view of your importance at her shower. Stay home.
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    bikramlass

  • Corts said:


    If you can't scrounge up like $3.00 for a box of cookies on the way there, but yet insist on blessing this poor "friend" with your presence at her shower so that you can continue to make fun of her and her host...um well yes, that is someone who thrives on drama. In the time you've spent justifying yourself here , you could have made a pasta salad for under $2.00. Or better yet, rsvp'd NO. You seem to mistake the small gesture of contributing a cheap food item for "catering her party". Please. I feel bad for you, you seem to have a distorted view of your importance at her shower. Stay home.

    Taking a box of cookies is just as tacky as asking your guests to cater the party for you. I barely cook for myself because I can hardly eat anything, standing for more than a few minutes at a time is painful, and as a full-time student who also holds a full-time job time is a commodity I'm not willing to give up. When you ask your guests to provide food for a party you're hosting, you are asking them to cater if for you. If you can't understand that it's tacky to throw a party, ask for gifts, and then drop an "oh by they way bring your own food, too" then there's no help for you.


    Fine. Stay home and be done with it. And return whatever gift you bought. Surely no one else who will be attending has jobs, kids or goes to school?? Good luck with your very hard, overburdened lifestyle.
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  • Corts said:
    Fine. Stay home and be done with it. And return whatever gift you bought. Surely no one else who will be attending has jobs, kids or goes to school?? Good luck with your very hard, overburdened lifestyle.
    What part of I'm going are you not understanding? Your opinion doesn't make a whit of difference to my attendance. I can tell you that none of my friends going are 7 months pregnant, work full time, and attend school full-time. Thank you for sarcastic good luck. I'm very lucky that I have a man that appreciates all I do so that our lives are easier one day.

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  • nlwz123nlwz123
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    edited December 2015
    Corts said:
    Fine. Stay home and be done with it. And return whatever gift you bought. Surely no one else who will be attending has jobs, kids or goes to school?? Good luck with your very hard, overburdened lifestyle.
    What part of I'm going are you not understanding? Your opinion doesn't make a whit of difference to my attendance. I can tell you that none of my friends going are 7 months pregnant, work full time, and attend school full-time. Thank you for sarcastic good luck. I'm very lucky that I have a man that appreciates all I do so that our lives are easier one day.
    I think the "you are going" part :-P




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  • CortsCorts
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    edited December 2015
    **Removed for TOU Violation** 
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  • edited December 2015
    Corts said:
    **Removed for TOU Violation** 
    I wasn't invited to a potluck. I was invited to a baby shower over a month ago. I accepted an invitation to a baby shower over a month ago. It was not until a few days ago that the baby shower changed to a pot luck. 

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  • hoooly! someone's feeling like a right-fighter today. you really ruffled her feathers, @DrillSergeantCat ;D hahahah.
    DrillSergeantCat
  • Nobody is ruffling anyone. A good debate is always interesting. The fact is no one knows what led up to this turning into a potluck. The hosts probably just fell on some hard times or this became bigger than what they budgeted for. It's really not anyones business. I just got an $800 bill for genetic and other prenatal testing that I believed insurance was covering. If i were hosting a shower in a few days that would certainly stress me out but I would never cancel and disappoint the MTB. Yeah maybe some find it tacky but these are real people who I'm sure never expected to be the brunt of someones jokes on a website. The issue I have with OP is that she is determined to go with a self righteous attitude, and dead set on NOT bringing a food item  no matter how small the cost because she is taking it personally. Her circumstances aren't unique, everyone there will have their own personal issues. I'm a mom to a special needs teenager, a 4 year old and am in a high risk pregnancy myself. I have a job, am a volunteer NILMDTS photographer and and am not rich...I would never turn my nose up at someone who needed help though (especially around the holidays). Which is why I am having trouble understanding why someone can not simply pick up a cheap food item or couple bottles of soda on their way to a friends baby shower.
    There are much more important problems in the world than being offended about how food got to a party. 
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  • Actually, if I was invited to a baby shower and was then asked to help cater it, meaning I have to spend more time and money, it is my business. If circumstances change where the host can no longer afford the shower, the host can either make cuts or cancel. It should never fall on the guests to pick up the slack.


    Yeah but it it is what it is. They can either decide not to go, or phone the the host asking what their financial problems are. Neither are desirable.

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  • kyraaD said:
    Nobody is ruffling anyone. A good debate is always interesting. The fact is no one knows what led up to this turning into a potluck. The hosts probably just fell on some hard times or this became bigger than what they budgeted for. It's really not anyones business. I just got an $800 bill for genetic and other prenatal testing that I believed insurance was covering. If i were hosting a shower in a few days that would certainly stress me out but I would never cancel and disappoint the MTB. Yeah maybe some find it tacky but these are real people who I'm sure never expected to be the brunt of someones jokes on a website. The issue I have with OP is that she is determined to go with a self righteous attitude, and dead set on NOT bringing a food item  no matter how small the cost because she is taking it personally. Her circumstances aren't unique, everyone there will have their own personal issues. I'm a mom to a special needs teenager, a 4 year old and am in a high risk pregnancy myself. I have a job, am a volunteer NILMDTS photographer and and am not rich...I would never turn my nose up at someone who needed help though (especially around the holidays). Which is why I am having trouble understanding why someone can not simply pick up a cheap food item or couple bottles of soda on their way to a friends baby shower.
    There are much more important problems in the world than being offended about how food got to a party. 
    i dont see how you were debating with @DrillSergeantCat. everything you posted was extremely hostile & rude. two comments already have been removed for TOU violations. all you've done is basically told her how horrible of a person she is for feeling the way she does. that's not a debate..
    Yeah, if the admin says they were TOU violation-worthy it wasn't exactly just a "good debate."  Clearly lots of people here found your comments to be unnecessarily rude.




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