STMs, what are you doing w/your toddlers?

lopezalonso

DD is 20-months-old and DD2 was born a week ago. I feel like I keep sending DD away with the grandparents so I can nap and spend time with DD2. I still get DD ready in the morning and put her down for naps and bedtime. I have made it a point to play with her every day while someone watches DD2 but I can't help but feel guilty. I know she's having more fun with her grandparents and dad than with me as I try to look after two babies while exhausted but I feel sooooo guilty!

Anyone else feel like this? What are you doing?

blackcat3163

I feel like I reprimand him a lot and generally just tell him to play... I feel super guilty too but I'm trying to heal from section and nurse all the time.. Luckily DH has been good with taking him somewhere everyday but he's back to work next week so I'm nervous

Lynnbirds4

My little guy has been watching a lot of movies this week! I actually have him enrolled in a Kid's Day Out program too, but they are off for Thanksgiving break this week. He loves going and I get one-on-one time with the babe, so it is a win-win! I wouldn't worry too much, things will start calming down eventually as we learn the balance of 2 (or 3 or 4) and in the meantime, your DD is enjoying her grandparents!

MargaretC5

Don't feel guilty! I have been so surprised how well DS has adjusted with all the recent changes (I was in the hospital for a month before DD was born, then obviously I came home with a baby). I usually work full time so DS still goes to DC during the week. I just try to make sure I plan specific actives I can do with DS, like baking or crafts, or I just play with him while the baby sleeps. I also try to include him in taking care of the baby, he throws away her dirty diapers and he "helps" me burb her. He is also fetches the burb cloth or my water bottle for me while I BF.

brizer21

DD is 20 months and a handful herself, I too felt and still feel guilty at times especially the first few weeks recovering from a c-section. Her and daddy are getting a lot of 1 on 1 time now- it's important you take care of yourself and bond with the LO too!

We are still sending DD to daycare a couple times a week to get her out of the house and be with her "friends". I made her some sensory toys for the days she's at home to try to keep her entertained. Like PP said, most days I feel like I'm just saying "no" all the time so I make it a point to say yes and do fun things with her.

Squirtgun

My older daughter is 22 months, and has been fine except when I have to nurse Ruth, (which is pretty often .) and then she want to be close to me as well.

I have put together a basket of quiet toys and books for her to have while I am nursing. She is still able to sit on the couch with us, and even to lean up against me while I nurse. But this way she has something specific she can do when I'm not able to get to her.

It has cut down on a lot of frustrations (both mine and hers.).

drowe214

blackcat3163 said:

Luckily DH has been good with taking him somewhere everyday but he's back to work next week so I'm nervous

This. So far DS (2yrs) has been getting just as much attention if not more so. DH goes back to work tomorrow but my parents are here through the week so I've gotten a lot of time with LO but I try to find time to read to DS, help with a meal, assist with bed time etc. The true test will be next week.

CocoR04

DH only works 2 days a week until spring )his business is seasonal), so he's been taking our 2yo (almost 3) DS places 1-2 times a day - parks, museum, etc. DS isn't in preschool until next year, so we struggle to keep him entertained a lot. He definitely watches tv and uses the iPad when he's done playing by himself at home. I am longing for the days when I feel rested and energetic enough to take them both out alone and attend my stroller workout class again. Before baby, DS and I were out and about practically all day and I'm getting cabin fever right now.

Pontot31

My daughter will be 4 in January so she's a little more independent. I'm still in the hospital right now but my plan is to keep her as involved as possible. She loved holding him in the hospital yesterday and wanted to help with everything.
I also bought her a bunch of new books, some coloring stuff, activity books and play doh. Things that can be done sitting down while I hold or nurse a baby. She's excited to get to use the new stuff now that he's here.
If all else fails we've got movies, TV and the iPad. I have no shame in letting her indulge in some extra screen time while we work on this new transition.

GracedGuest

Following! I have an 18 month old, and next week is our first week alone with the new baby. My DH works 10+ hour days so I'm trying to plan what we are going to do with all our time together. I really don't want to leave the house alone with the two yet, and it's too cold to bring the newborn outside. Besides screen time, I guess we'll just play and read a lot. I might download some good podcasts and look into audible for me.

lyankowi

I have been feeling so bad for DD1 she is watching a lot of TV. Since H left me I feel like I am always saying go play or want to watch a movie. She is always saying play with me mommy? I also had to pull her out of daycare I can't afford it.

MoRay05

A friend suggested having a basket full of new puzzles, coloring books, play doh, etc that they can only play with when I'm nursing our newborn. I haven't done this yet as my toddler seems to be ok so far but might come in handy later.