Nanny problems

snlyon0614

So DH and I are both in the military, with the early and long hours we've decided to get a live-in nanny.

Fortunately for us, a longtime friend of mine had a mom that needed a change of living quarters so we decided to hire her. Win win right?

However

she's here for when I go back to work in February, but moved in before DD was born to "get acquainted" with baby. I don't want her very active regarding DD right now bc it's mine and DH's opportunity to establish a relationship and be close...so we aren't paying her til I go back to work...but somehow we are still paying for everything with no benefit...she just comes out collects food and goes back to her room...or comes out when dinner is almost done to ask if we need any help...

I just feel a little taken advantage of. I mean, what if I'm tired and don't want to cook and tell DH to fix a bowl of cereal? Then Nanny comes and asks what's for dinner... I dunno. It's just weird. Figure I should bring it up sooner than later. Plus it's expensive to feed another adult.

DH mentioned something to me about it, so I have decided to give her the options of (and let me know what you think)

1)Taking dinner duty twice a week, Andrew and I will have it the other three days and weekends will be fend for yourself

2)just handling your own meals throughout the week/weekends

How do I start this conversation? I'm not afraid of confrontation, but this is potentially the woman taking care of DD when we aren't home...plus my gf's mom.

Help?

itstheblackwidowbaby

I'm going to be *that* person. As of right now, she's not your nanny. She's a shitty roommate. I'd sit her down and come up with a roommate agreement/contract for up until you go back to work/decide to start using her as a nanny. Can she help pay for groceries or rent until you need her as a nanny? Because as you've told it you're just being taken advantage of.

lopezalonso

You absolutely need to have a talk with her. For me it would be easiest to say something like, "this is how DH and I have the house chores split, we were wondering how'd you feel about this [proposed plan] until Feb at which time I return to work and you'll be taking care of the baby." The longer you wait, the more she may think things are ok the way they are. She may just be trying to stay out of your way right now.

snlyon0614

Thanks Yal! We had the talk with her yesterday and she will now be preparing her own meals, glad we did!