SO quit his job

dec15mum

I think I just need to rant so bare with me...
I've been in a steady job for almost 2 years so I'm grateful about that, they've been great throughout my pregnancy. I'm only on a part time contract so I'll only get paid some of my contracted hours when I go on maternity leave, which is a cut to what I normally make but I can deal with that.
Getting my SO a job has been hard as there is no jobs going here. He had a job that was 2 hours away and he was doing long shifts but it was money! He then got really sick, like in hospital sick, and they let him go because he had only been there for about a month.
He got a new job at the start of the week which is even further away (3 hours each way) but it paid great! Well he phoned me to say he quit because they were saying he had to work 12 hour night shifts for at least 11 days straight before being allowed a day off and they weren't giving him time off for the baby.
Now I understand why he quit, it's too much to do. But I'm now 38 weeks pregnant and we have very little money.
Thankfully we live with my parents, but that also cancels me out for any benefits i received since they just cut all benefits over here.
I'm just worried about everything at the moment, I'm so grateful that we've still got my wages and that my parents are happy to help but I hate accepting money off of people.
I'm also scared because I don't know how long my SO will be out of work given that it took us months to find him the first one.
I honestly just don't know what to do!

If you've read this far then thank you! Needed to get it off my chest

LMJL

Ugh! That stinks! It must be so stressful for you. My husband is self-employed & I'm only part time so I worry about money too, but I would be very nervous in your situation! So sorry yore going through this. Luckily, you have your parents, I hate taking $ from mine as well, but know it makes them feel better to help out. I know it's hard but try not to get too stressed, as it's not good for baby. Think positive thoughts about your SO getting another job, it'll help him too. You never know with these things, something might open up that's perfect after you give birth. And this way he will be around to help out & bond with baby, which is something he shouldn't have to miss out on. Good luck to you both!

ATolentino89

That's rough. I feel some of your pain as my husbands job is more seasonal we worry about the coming times too. Ranting helps me gather my thoughts and attack the problem from a different angle. I hope it helps you too!!

kdoak2015

Sorry this is so unfortunate. I'm going to be brutally honest and say that it sounds like your SO may be a bit lazy and doesn't really want to work? My DH has worked as a casual at his workplace for 8 years doing 12 hour shift work and driving 2-3 hours daily for his work. I understand it's a lot but he knows he needs to provide for his family and himself. I can't imagine him just upping and quitting. Hope your SO can get his shit together soon as it's not fair to you, your parents or your child.

dec15mum

kdoak2015 said:

Sorry this is so unfortunate. I'm going to be brutally honest and say that it sounds like your SO may be a bit lazy and doesn't really want to work? My DH has worked as a casual at his workplace for 8 years doing 12 hour shift work and driving 2-3 hours daily for his work. I understand it's a lot but he knows he needs to provide for his family and himself. I can't imagine him just upping and quitting. Hope your SO can get his shit together soon as it's not fair to you, your parents or your child.

I appreciate your honesty and if I'm honest too this is what I'm scared of. I've been getting that kind of vibe for a while, when i met him me never worked because he was in education.
His dad is the same though, his dad has just lived off benefits for years even though he doesn't need half of it and could work. So I'm not sure if my SO is the same or if he wants to work but struggles because he was raised around people who didn't, that make sense?

Anyway, I appreciate everything you guys have said it has made me feel better

Taylovesbrad

Sorry to hear your in this situation. My best friends sister just had a baby and is in a similar situation. They are living with her parents. He has a job but it's part time retail, hoping to work his way up. He was in another job that was givi ng him heart problems and had to quit and doesn't want another high stress position . This puts weight on her shoulder as bread winner and she is missing out on time with her two girls. Not much advice but you are not alone. I hope it works out for you.

andresh

As far as health benefits go, you should be able to apply for emergency medicaid to cover the birth.

mhwood

Have you guys considered moving somewhere where there are more jobs?

dec15mum

mhwood said:

Have you guys considered moving somewhere where there are more jobs?

We can't afford to move unfortunately and they wouldn't give me a house with the systems they've put in place. I live in Scotland you see, so I don't know how different it is to everywhere else

holocene

A 6 hour daily commute? Did I read that right?! 

It sounds like a tough situation all around. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this so late in your pregnancy, that has to be really tough. I don't know anything about subsidy programs in Scotland, but it sounds like you've already looked into them anyways. Is there a program you could be set up with that will help with the relocating costs to an area with more jobs? 

dec15mum

holocene said:

A 6 hour daily commute? Did I read that right?! 

It sounds like a tough situation all around. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this so late in your pregnancy, that has to be really tough. I don't know anything about subsidy programs in Scotland, but it sounds like you've already looked into them anyways. Is there a program you could be set up with that will help with the relocating costs to an area with more jobs? 

Yeah 6 hours a day travelling- really not ideal!
Thank you, I'm hoping it works out we're looking for jobs just now just need to keep fingers crossed that something works out! I'll need to look into it, I've never really thought about relocating before but if it'll help I'll definitely be looking into it

amye02

Best of luck on the job search! You may have to remind him at this time he might have to take something that is not his "ideal" job but something to make ends meet and provide insurance, with the holidays coming retail might be able to give him enough hours.

Bombmom3

Just a thought:

For sure this is *not* the ideal situation, nor a permanent solution, but have you two discussed just *him* moving closer to jobs? If he can find something further away and get established he can help with the bills and help build the funds needed to eventually move you and the little one to him. I know that's a scary idea to be separated, especially right when a new baby is about the enter the picture, but speaking as someone whose husband is in and out for extended (anywhere from a few weeks to seven months at a time, multiple times a year) it is doable. Rough. Stressful. But doable. I'm not sure how dire your financial situation is or how abysmal the job market is in your area so not sure if you need to go to that extreme but it is something to consider if you've hit the end of your financial rope. I do hope things pick up soon for you both!