Hello ladies. I'm new over here now I suppose, so I guess I'll introduce myself. This post is going to be long as I feel I just need to get this out.
I had some spotting very early in pregnancy so I went in for an emergency ultrasound and got to see the pole and sack and tiny flicker of a heartbeat. I was relieved but hesitant. A week later we had the dating ultrasound and the growth and development was astonishing! Still had a heartbeat and everything was well. This was at 7 weeks.
I experienced spotting throughout the rest of my pregnancy, we chalked it up to pressure on my cervix from the copious amounts of vomiting I was doing. It would come and go and I had no cramping or any other signs that something was wrong. Fast forward to 12 weeks 3days. My spotting became heavier but was still spotting and would stop as quickly as it started.
12 weeks and 5 days I had actual bleeding. I went in for an emergency ultrasound (again) and found out that I lost the baby at 8 weeks. Almost 5 weeks ago.
Unfortunately my bleeding was actually subsiding, my body wasn't wanting to do the miscarriage on its own I suppose. I'm thankful to have been able to take misoprotisol(Cytotec) instead of a D&C, but it was an absolutely awful experience, as I imagine any miscarriage would be.
I'm feeling very sad and frustrated. I'm angry that this had to happen to us and I feel betrayed by my body. I wish that I would've started to bleed when the baby stopped developing, not let me go on thinking I was pregnant until 12 weeks and 5 days.
Today I got a notification from one of my other apps, it would've been day 1 of trimester 2. What a shitty reality check.
I know that I'm not alone in this, and I know that I will get through it, but it sucks. Just straight up sucks. We tried so long to conceive and it was just ripped away. Just not pregnant anymore.
It sucks. It feels like a nightmare that just won't end.
Me: 26 DH: 28
TTC #1 since 06/2014
BFP #1 09/23/15. MMC discovered 11/24/2015
BFP #2 08/24/16 EDD 05/08/17