Upset!! Rant

amandajmonceaux

Every day when my husband comes home he bitches at me. Most of the time it's for nothing. But tonight he got mad cause I haven't been able to eat. He said if I lose this baby that we aren't trying again. I'm starting to feel that he don't like me being pregnant. Pregnancy is very hard on me and right now I been in bed for the past couple days cause I can't eat. I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I can never please him no matter what.

macc2

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It's very in fair of him, especially when you're pregnant. Don't let him make you feel bad for anything, especially not being able to eat right now.. If only he could read these boards!

DarkCat

Have you spoken with your doctor about treatment to help you eat? Your husband shouldn't be saying these things to you regardless. It's cruel and insensitive. I hope you get some help.

Edit: spelling

MsBeachNJ

I'm sorry to hear you're going through that! Stay strong & take care of yourself... Perhaps getting him a book or some reading materials on what you're going through may increase his sensitivity? Hugs to you!

ach298

There is so much wrong with this that I don't know where to start. Why are you putting up with him treating you poorly? It is unacceptable for anyone to come home and just start bitching at you or to say things that imply a miscarriage would be your fault. Is this his usual behavior or had it only started since the pregnancy? Either way, you need to be prepared to take steps to ensure you and your baby are supported and safe, emotionally and physically.

DobbysSock

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please realize that what you are describing is emotional abuse, and completely unacceptable. Is there someone else you can stay with for awhile? A friend or family member? He needs to understand that what he is doing is abuse, and he needs to get help to understand why he treats you this way and find strategies for communicating in a different way that is not abusive. You deserve better, and your baby deserves better. Please realize that the way he treats you WILL impact your child. He will teach a son to treat women this way, or a daughter to accept this type of treatment. He will in all likelihood turn this treatment towards your child one day.

In terms of your nausea, have you seen your doctor? There is treatment available to help you get it under control so you can get the nutrients you need. I know this stage really sucks, but it does pass and get better! Stay strong and please take care of yourself. Try your best to get small amounts of food in throughout the day. Try to get food with good nutrients but if all else fails just get some calories in, whatever they are, until you're able to stomach something with a bit more healthy substance. Also please know that you WON'T cause a miscarriage by not eating for a few days. Your baby will take the nutrients from you one way or another. Make sure you're taking your prenatal vitamins especially if you're not eating a balanced diet. Hope you feel physically better soon.

carcrashheart

The body is built to weather first tri. That means all of the sickness and eating or not eating. You're doing fine. Stick to survival mode. And punch him for saying such insensitive crap to you.

acadia07

That sounds an awful lot like victim-blaming, and it's not okay. It's not your fault that you can't eat, it's caused by the pregnancy and he should be supporting you and helping you find a solution, not belittling and blaming you.

I agree with talking to your doctor about treatment. There are lots of meds that will take the edge off the nausea so you can eat. Eating is not all that important, but drinking is very important. If you can't keep fluids down, you need help. And if you haven't kept fluids down in 48 hours, you need IV fluids. Please get yourself some help! And have a stern talk with your husband.

stillcozy

My husband has similar tendancies but I wouldn't call what he does emotional abuse to me. In my case he is worried about me and the baby and just doesn't always express it appropriately. Maybe some reading material would help him understand what you are going through and maybe see a dr to reassure both of you that you are Okay because being in bed 3 days not able to eat at all is concerning! They might be able to get you some medicine. Make sure you continue to try and get your liquid in. Sorry he isn't being very kind to you! Hope things get better soon.

victoria98

Effff himmmmm lol I'm so unable to eat at this moment although up until today I was eating like a hog! When my best friend was newely pregnant she wasn't able to eat but a couple of crackers and apple slices a day, & her baby is fine & coming in December ☺️ From the many things I've learned from this board it's that literally nothing is normal. Pregnancy is weird & he shouldn't blame you for that & say such mean things. Especially now since you're pregnant and ever little thing is so stressful.

thebigoaktree

If my husband pulled this, he'd be missing his testicles and he can explain to everyone why that's the reason we won't be having any more kids. Even if he's stressed out about this, that does not give him any right to add to the stress you already have. If he's having such a hard time maybe he should go spend some time away and come back when he has his big boy underwear on. if you ever feel like he's making you feel this bad know that you don't have to take it. It is emotional abuse, there's no putting any rainbows or sunshine sparkles on it. I know this is easier said then done, but if you need to get away from him then don't hesitate to do that.   

decoycandy

Unfortunately, sometimes guys aren't as sensitive as we would like them to be. It may be he thinks his dicksish insults are to encourage you like some tough lockerroom talk. Be firm but calm that his putting you down doesn't help you physically be able to eat and is detrimental to your mental well being, which is very necessary. Sometimes guys are just walkers, they are trying desperately to fix, when all we want is to be heard and comforted. Good luck

amandajmonceaux

Thank you all for your encouragement. I have meds that I take when I can't stand the nausea anymore. But they put me to sleep and I can't sleep all the time since I have 3 kids to care for. I have only been able to stay in bed these 3 days cause my kids were at their dads for the holiday but they come home today so it's time to suck it up and move on. I hope everyone is doing well with their pregnancies.

smeria

These ladies are right it is very wrong to say that to you. We don't live with you and don't know your DH but if it is emotional abuse and trust me you'll know it is then you need to do some serious thinking. Im 10 year veteran of an abusive relationship and I lied to myself in my heart I knew it and so did everyone around me. It started with words and through the years got physical. I pray for you and baby that its not. Be strong and do your very best to take care of yourself and baby ❤ You deserve compassion not threats or accusation of causing a miscarriage. Hugs

PrimRoseMama

Your husband is verbally abusing you. Threatening you with miscarriage and withholding TTC from you if you miscarry? Completely uncalled for and below the belt. If you miscarry, and we hope you don't, it has nothing to do with you feeling sick. I could not remain with a husband that said such hurtful, abusive things. I just couldn't.

I hope you feel better soon, but honestly, this guy is bad news.