Pregnant after a Loss

Why does spilling the beans cause more anxiety than excitement?

I told my parents today that I'm pregnant. I was going to wait until thanksgiving and tell the whole family (my brothers and their wives, my grandma, etc) but I am thinking about waiting until Christmas for that. Anyway, as I was telling my parents I just had and still have this sense of doom lingering. Like I just put it out there into the universe and now I'm just waiting for the bleeding to the start. Or there won't be a heartbeat at my 11 week appointment on dec 4. Having three losses has taken absolutely all the fun out of this.
BabyFetus Ticker

Re: Why does spilling the beans cause more anxiety than excitement?

  • I completely understand. It's just the way it is. For now. Once you get more confident, it may feel better. Listen to me like I'm not in those shoes! I hated when I basically told people I was pregnant basically bc I was anxious about it and they told me congrats. That made me feel worse. I don't think you can ever go back to pre-loss status after RPL. But I think it will get better with time. I have my 11.5 week appt on Friday and then next appt is Dec. 3 (13 weeks nuchal). I will feel so much better after that. Keep the faith.
    *****Losses Mentioned*****BFP MENTIONED*****ALL WELCOME******ALL ABOARD!!

    Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
    Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
    Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.

    DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!

    Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!

  • I totally get it! I feel the same way. As soon as you say it out loud, you feel like you've jinxed it.
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  • Same here. Part of me wants everyone to know so I'm not on edge but at the same time I feel like by letting everyone it will happen again and I'll look like a fool.
  • I'm 18 weeks and just bought the very first thing... like somehow doing so and getting excited will cause something bad to happen...
    so sorry u feel this way too
  • I feel the same way. DH and I told family over the phone and a few other folks in person, but for us making the "big" announcement (which we did at 15 weeks) was more comfortable on Facebook because it took the awkward social interaction out of it and we could just sit at home and watch the congratulations roll in. I get that FB announcements aren't for everybody, but they definitely made it easier on us.
  • I'm almost 15 weeks and we are planning to tell my in-laws and some other close family friends this weekend. My mom and 2 best friends know, because they've been there as moral support for me through 2 miscarriages. 

    I went to the doc yesterday just for a reassurance check to hear the heartbeat and everything sounded great, and I was super excited to finally start telling. But I've had cramps off-and-on, and whenever I have them I panic and don't want to tell anyone ever! I have them right now and keep googling and everything I've read says as long as they're not bleeding, constant, and severe it's totally normal. So I hope this is just totally normal!

    Anyway, I totally understand the concern with telling people!
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