Pregnant after a Loss


How do you ladies get over the anxiety of losing again? Any advice? Also how did you connect with PAL. My first two I connected right away but my 3rd I lost at 12 weeks after connecting and the 4th I didn't connect at all. Now in on my fifth and not connected. I'd still be devastated if something happens but I guess I feel like if I disconnect it will be easier. I'm not the only one right?

Re: Connection/anxiety

  • No. You're not the only one. My connection comes in fits and spurts. But I'm mostly connected now--but I still can't say "when the baby is born"--it's still "if", so there is my disconnection. It's kind of like trying to build trust with someone who has cheated you or something. You've been burned. Trust is built over time. So is connection.

    There are many tools. There is self-hypnosis for fertility (obv you are pregnant, but it is still relaxing and helpful). You can google it. Writing can help, therapy. Finding a mantra that works for you (there used to be some mantras on this page some time ago). Different tools work for different times.
    *****Losses Mentioned*****BFP MENTIONED*****ALL WELCOME******ALL ABOARD!!

    Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
    Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
    Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.

    DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!

    Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!

  • No you are not the only one. I am trying to stay disconnected. And I feel like I am, but if something happens who knows. I'm sure it will be just as hard as the other times. With my last loss I was trying to do the same thing and it didn't work. It crushed me. I think we get attached whether we want to or not.
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