Super cuddly DS- how to manage?

blended10

This is not a complaint - just a management question.
My ds is 5, active as all get-out & about as cuddly as they come. He constantly wants to be in my lap, climb on me, come into bed, etc, etc. That's all well & good now but soon I'll be recovering from a c-section & tending a new born. My husband has no plans of staying home with us after I get home from the hospital (rant in there but what can I do?).
I'm growing increasingly anxious as we count down the weeks. I've decided to enlist the help of close family for the first week I'm out of the hospital but none of them are going to get here by 5am when I need them.
Any ideas? I know he's old enough to "get it" but that knowledge isn't easing my mind. I've tried talking to dh about it but he's adamant he "can't" take 2 weeks out. It's infuriating honestly.

USCnurse42

When my middle son was born, my oldest was 3. I told him he was my big helper and had him help me change diapers, entertain his brother, and cuddle with us and read books. Making him feel like he was helping worked for us. I been talking to my middle son about doing the same things. He is 4. He asked my what he could do. I told him sing so he has been singing Twinkle Twinkle to my tummy. I am going to have him help and cuddle as much as possible because he is more of a Mama's boy than my oldest.

Bombmom3

I'm having similar anxiety because my soon-to-be middle child is over attached to me and is only 16m so doesn't understand that mommy will be unable to hold her 24/7 any more.

When #2 was born my oldest child responded very well to the "big helper" role. She was two and learned pretty quick that if I was nursing or tending to the baby she would need to wait for a snuggle until I had my hands free. We also cuddled a lot after the baby would latch - it was good sibling bonding time as well as needed snuggle time with me.

kepoole

Be honest with him. After c section, show him your incision. Explain that while you can love on him, you need him to be conscious of it and careful and to be your helper. Let him come get in bed with you in the mornings and just explain that he can't climb on you for now like he is used to

blended10

@kepoole you're 100% right. I hadn't thought about the visual aid I'll have available. Great idea.
Also - love the ideas about enlisting as a helper. He will like feeling important & in-charge.

elbou

Great suggestions so far, but I wanted to add that it might help to teach him to snuggle your side instead of sitting on your lap. I've never had a C-section, so forgive me if this is not practical, but I've always been able to snuggle my bigger kids while nursing the baby by getting them to sit beside me on the couch and wrapping the arm that wasn't holding baby around my big kid. (i.e. if you're nursing on the right, have them sit on the left side & vice versa)

Also, at age 5, he is probably also able to hold a book by himself, so that is a great way to read stories to him (and the new one) or have him read a story to you and the baby. HTH!