If the pregnancy you lost was unplanned... — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

If the pregnancy you lost was unplanned...

How are you handling your m/c and do you think you're going to try again? We were adamantly one-and-done, and had to spend a lot of time convincing ourselves that this surprise second pregnancy was going to be good for our family. We've been through the sadness of loss before when we were TTC, but this time feels different - harder - probably because we had to actively talk ourselves into it. I'm struggling with whether I actually want another baby now, or if it's just grief. Whether the pregnancy was a sign we should try again, or whether the pregnancy and loss were signs that we should be happy with what we have.
---------------------------------------------------------------
4 early losses 2009, 2010, 2015.  Baby #1 born 2/13/11.  

Re: If the pregnancy you lost was unplanned...

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. How recently did you MC?

    I don't think you can trust your feelings about it when the grief and pain is still so fresh. I have no children of my own yet, but after this MC I spent several days vehemently announcing to my husband that I no longer wanted to have children. The frustration and pain was too much; the anxiety at the thought of trying again was too much. I still bounce back and forth. For the most part, I'm past that now. If I have a really bad day, I go back to that way of thinking.

    If you're still dealing with your loss, you probably won't know exactly what you want until you've come out of your grief. If it's been awhile and you're still feeling this way, I would sit down and talk to your husband. Only you two can decide what's best for you and your family.

    E will be 18 on July 24th
    Z was born October 16, 2016
    #3 Due October 9, 2018

    MC - November 29, 2012
    CP - November 15, 2014
    D&C for MMC - October 13, 2015




  • It's been a few weeks, so still kind of fresh. But due to age and other reasons, we'd want to get started ASAP if we're going to do it.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    4 early losses 2009, 2010, 2015.  Baby #1 born 2/13/11.  
  • Loading the player...
  • BBHME said:
    It's been a few weeks, so still kind of fresh. But due to age and other reasons, we'd want to get started ASAP if we're going to do it.
    Understandable. But regardless of age, you need to make sure you're emotionally ready before you start trying again. So don't rush into it just because of that. 

    A few weeks is still new, I would personally give it a little time and see how you feel. Making big decisions when you're in the middle of grieving is usually not a good idea. Lol. If that's not an option, sit down and talk with your husband. I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out together. Good luck!

    E will be 18 on July 24th
    Z was born October 16, 2016
    #3 Due October 9, 2018

    MC - November 29, 2012
    CP - November 15, 2014
    D&C for MMC - October 13, 2015




  • My son was unplanned. We were saving for a house so weren't really in the right place financially. Then we went through the heart break of him being too sick to survive and now I don't care. I'd rather have a baby in a rental property then not have one in my own house. I think there will always be some reason to not get pregnant so screw it I want to be knocked up.

    Little boy due July 31st 2016

    babymama03252016
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards