What to do about planned names — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

What to do about planned names

Hello ladies, 

As mentioned earlier, my husband and I just miscarried our first pregnancy yesterday.  We had a few names in mind that we tossed around together and with our parents when we told them we just found out I was pregnant.  I don't think I want to use those names for our next pregnancy.  I feel like we chose those names (even though we were only 5w 6d) to use for that baby what we unfortunately lost.  Ever since we first got married there were a couple names we wanted to use but now I feel like since we were planning on those names for this pregnancy, it would be wrong to use them for the next pregnancy.

Has anyone else decided to "retire" the names they thought they would use?  My husband was so excited to announce the girl's name we were thinking of and I hate to take that from him but at the same time I don't think it would right to use them.

Re: What to do about planned names

  • We didn't announce any names because we have 4 for each gender and wanted to wait for the anatomy scan to let everyone know and just wanted to wair until then to assign a name on our baby. Because of this, we hadn't really said, if it's a boy/girl, the name for sure will be this. Kind of wanted to get to know the LO inside of me and just feel which one would be best. Once we knew we were losing our baby, we named him/her Francis (we chose a gender neutral name) and let our family know.

    I know that someone in the family that used the first baby's name for the second because they lost the first and some people have been judgmental and some haven't seen anything wrong with it. There will always be judgmental people out there for almost every decision you make so this decision is really up to you and your DH.
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    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • I was 9w2d when I mc in April. My husband and I were just calling it baby- our last name... I have had boy names and girl names picked for a long time, even before I was married. I figure next time, when we find out the gender I'll know which one is right.
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  • We were 8 weeks along, and we'll re-use the names. It took a lot of time to decide on which names we liked, and since we didn't know the gender, we hadn't officially named the baby. I think it would be different if the pregnancy were lost further along when we had already been referring to it by a specific name. 
    Me: 29, DH: 31
    Married: October 2014
    Began TTC: April 2015
    BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
    BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
    BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 <3
    BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19. 

  • I think that in time, you might change your mind. I had ordered a few things online for the baby I lost and they hadn't arrived before my MC. When I remembered that they'd be coming in the mail after my loss, the first thing I thought was to send them back because they were for my lost baby, not a future baby. They arrived late and there was a sting when they came, but in the end I decided not to return them, but to save them for the future.

    I know that's not the same as a name, but a similar story nonetheless.

    LFAF April Siggy: TV/Movie BFFs

    BFP #1 12/2012, DS born 8/2013
    BFP #2 7/2015, MMC and D&C 9/2015
    BFP #3 11/2015, CP
    BFP #4 1/2016, DD born 10/2016

  • I'm sorry for you loss...for us we had a list of names, after our mc we picked the name that stood out to us the most and named our baby that (Evelyn). We will use the other names for a future pregnancy...just as we would if this baby had survived.
  • We had a middle name picked out for a boy when we miscarried 3 years ago and we never retired that. Over the years we've decided on names for 2 girls and 2 boys, and when we found out we were pregnant we kept saying this was finally our little Skye or Enzo. But we called her Bean since we didn't know the gender. 

    After we MCed, we decided to save the names for our next pregnancy. And when we found out Bean was a girl, we gave her her own name. Aaliyah. It's a name we love, but one we would never use. We love our names too much to retire them. They're all named after people too, and we don't want to give that up either.

    E will be 18 on July 24th
    Z was born October 16, 2016
    #3 Due October 9, 2018

    MC - November 29, 2012
    CP - November 15, 2014
    D&C for MMC - October 13, 2015

  • I m/c'd at 8 weeks. We had started throwing around names but we weren't anywhere near picking something. I will most certainly keep the names we were throwing around for this pregnancy for possible use on future babies.
    MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
    DS born 9/13/16
    BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
  • DH and I had been talking about naming baby William if baby was a boy. We hadn't decided on girl name yet. We've talked about it and we would still like to use William if we have a boy. Now not only would William be naming baby after my grant grandpa, my great uncle and DH's dad but it will also be naming our future baby after our first angel baby. It's likely that everyone on the "named after" list will be dead by the time we finally conceive and have our rainbow baby so one more passed loved one doesn't seem to be too much of a stretch.
    Me: 28 Husband: 31
    TTC#1: January 2015- September 2016
    Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
    Rainbow baby born June 6, 2017  ❤️

    Baby #2 due June 12, 2018
    BabyFruit Ticker

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