Last name confusion

Puckettxo

Hi ladies! So, I have no idea what the last name of my baby will be..

I got divorced a little over a year ago and i kept my married last name because of DS.

The father of this baby will not be in my baby's life at all, and I honestly don't want to give her the last name of someone that wants nothing to do with her.

I guess my question is can I give her my Legal last name, or do I have to give her my maiden name?

SmrBrd2012

You can give her whatever name you want.

lm45678

SmrBrd2012 said:

You can give her whatever name you want.

I agree- but if it were me I would want to know how my ex felt about using his last name on this baby. While I think it would be nice for your children to have the same last name, it may get confusing for them later in life with different fathers.

nurse714

I agree with pp. You can use whatever name you wish.

2-Step

If I were you I would probably go back to my maiden name and use that for the baby. It is common for children to have a fathers last name that differs from a divorced mother but having a baby of another man named after an ex seems weird to me.

Krisdee123

2-Step said:

If I were you I would probably go back to my maiden name and use that for the baby. It is common for children to have a fathers last name that differs from a divorced mother but having a baby of another man named after an ex seems weird to me.

This.

kajaguru

My personal opinion is to all three of you have the same last name.

cglr2012

If your last name is still your married name then use that. Even if its not your ex's baby its still YOUR name.

Puckettxo

Thanks for all your opinions ladies!

lovesclimbing

I disagree that the baby would be named after the ex. You chose to keep that last name. It is not your ex's name, it is your name. I vote giving him or her the same last name as you and your other child.

magsugar13

it isnt your x's baby

i  wouldnt name it after him

lm45678

lovesclimbing said:

I disagree that the baby would be named after the ex. You chose to keep that last name. It is not your ex's name, it is your name. I vote giving him or her the same last name as you and your other child.

My only thing (and I work in a school) is that if your children are in school together people will automatically assume that they have the same father.

For example, what if they use your sons emergency card and call your ex-husband regarding your younger child. Depending on the relationship with the ex it may or may not be a problem.

I'm not saying it's a problem, and I 100% understand wanting to have the same name as your children... But it is something to think about.

OP- I hope you don't think I'm being rude, just trying to give you some advice from a practical standpoint.

ElRuby

This is quite a tricky situation but no matter how hard I try I can't wrap my head around this baby having the same last name as your Ex husband!

Elsa1984

I think that it really depends. First off, when you changed your last name to your ex-husbands last name....that is now your legal name. Right now, you have more legal rights to your current name, than your maiden name. Your maiden name is no longer "your name" and you would have to go in and legally have it changed back. Just like my married name, is now my name....regardless if MH and I one day decide to go our separate ways, unless I marry again....if I have anymore kids, they will get my current legal last name. 

Given that your ex-husband knows that you are not going to come after him for child support since the kid isn't his, and you have that last name, I would use your current last name. I wouldn't go through the trouble of changing my last name, just to name my second child, and then have one kid have a different last name. I grew up with someone who's mom was faced with this scenario when she had kid #2 (her oldest was in my grade, and her youngest was in my brother's grade). The oldest she had when she was married, then they divorced, and a few years later she had #2. Since her last name was still the same as kid #1, she went to her ex-husband and just let him know that she was planning on giving kid #2 the same last name as her and their son, because it would just be easier when it came to school, paperwork, etc., and that she would never try and come to him for child support or anything like that. Her ex-husband was fine with it, as he saw her point. It wasn't until we were in middle school that I found out they were half-brother's instead of full brother's. My parents have always been friends with both of kid #1's parents, and even the ex-husband didn't have an issue if someone mistook kid #2 for his, he just said "Oh just B is mine. M's dad isn't around, but he has my last name so it would be easier for paperwork, traveling with his mom, etc." And he always thought that it was nice that the two boys had the same last name.

Just remember that if you change your name to your maiden name, and kid #2 has your maiden name, but kid #1 has a different name, if you travel outside the country (and occasionally this happens in our country), you have to show written consent from kid #1's dad that you can travel with him.