Back to back MCs

silentP

Hello everyone,

I am sorry for your losses. I was all set to start posting on my June BMB after my first appointment yesterday. However, for the second time in 4 months, the baby is measuring small and the heart rate is low. I feel like the first time around, I could understand it from a more logical/scientific standpoint, and for whatever it was worth, it helped me through.

Now, I am just pissed. I feel this is exceptionally cruel and I feel betrayed by my body. There is a slight chance I could return next week and there will have been growth, but more likely, I will be scheduling another D&C.

Thank you for letting me vent. I know many of you have been through much more, so thank you for listening.

marie2409

I am so sorry for your losses. I know how hard the back to back MCs are. I just lost my second pregnancy. The first one was sad, but it was easy to understand as a thing that "just happens." Even though I was so disappointed it was easy to understand it as a thing that is statistically just part of trying to have a family. I think that this is what you are saying too. I didn't really think it would happen a second time (at least not in a row). Two in a row seems so unfair. Now I feel like I'm just constantly waiting for other things to go wrong too. I'm filled with fear that there is something wrong with me and I will never have kids or that I will have to go through this so many more times in order to have a baby. I hope maybe you just o'd late or that this was an anomaly and everything will look good for you next week. 

silentP

Thank you @marie2409. I'm sorry to hear of your recent second loss. And yes, I have had similar thoughts. We are incredibly thankful to have our three year old, but I would love to have more, but it may not be in the cards as I am not sure I am brave enough to risk trying again.

Thank you for your kind words and hugs to you.

mom2adoodle

Hugs to the both of you. Hang in there

queenklau

I am sorry for your loss! Miscarriage is a horrible experience and going through it twice feels like somebody is kicking you while down. Don't lose hope, are they doing any tests?
We are doing genetic testing on baby and I. I know it may just be a cruel coincidence that both babies stopped growing at 9-10 wks. I hope we can go on to have a healthy pregnancy.

silentP

Thank you, @klauerinaking. I saw your post on the June BMB and my heart sank for you, but I was just a lurker.

No talk of testing yet, and I actually received a shred of hope yesterday as I was told my blood work shows I am between 7-8 weeks, even though baby is measuring 6. Not that I will be clinging to that, and I will find out for sure next week what is going on. I hate this limbo.

I hope your tests provide some useful information for you to move forward. ((Hugs))

krzyriver

I'm so sorry for your loss. I totally understand your feelings of anger. Hubby and I just had our 3rd loss a few weeks ago. We were sad the first time, disappointed but not surprised for our chemical pregnancy, but this one struck us dumb. We were both angry for days. Hubby got weirdly violent on the soccer field and I kept thinking of flipping our glass table over just to watch it shatter. We felt like completely different people.

Hoping things work out for you and you get some good news soon. *Hugs*

silentP

So sorry to hear that @krzyriver Unfortunately, it wasn't good news today and I am waiting to hear on when I can schedule a D&E. I will have testing done to see if there is an underlying issue. I hope you get some answers as well! ((Hugs))