Family member(s) with negative opinions on your pregnancy

jsz0049

Now I know and understand that while pregnant the moms to be should expect a wide range of reactions, opinions, and advice. Some of them are truly helpful and make us feel that the love and happiness we are creating can be shared, its like monetarily walking on a larger than life cloud nine. Then there is the other side of the spectrum that leaves our sensitive selves feeling judged, the ever looming innuendos that we can not be super moms in our own right because our path and our walk of life varies from the person(s) judging. Unfortunately with any choice of any kind we can be at risk for this. My question is that when you are carrying life and creating or adding to your family how do you best push off these views that you are less, not worthy, incapable, should not be a mom from your family and framily? 

AnastasiaBeaverhausen09

If someone told me I was not worthy or incapable of being a mother I would cut that person out of my life.  Full stop.

nsouplynn

I would immediately put a stop to that IF someone ever tried to give me negative opinions about my pregnancy. I won't allow someone take the joy out of my pregnancy and ruin that for me.

TXmamatobe

I would say fuck 'em and move on with my badassery as a parent. We all do the best we can.

nay09

TXmamatobe said:

I would say fuck 'em and move on with my badassery as a parent. We all do the best we can.

Pretty much sums up how I feel. I'm sure I would be hurt and I'd probably vent to Dh. But in the end I try not to let other people's opinions bother me.
I'm honestly surprised I haven't run into any negativity yet. I'm 35 and my youngest is 8. I fully expected some of the how can you start over especially at your age comments, from someone. I'm happy to report that our families are excited and our friends have been really supportive.

sophieophieoh

DF is the leader of my negativity train. Charming. Bout to boot him to the curb

helleebellee

A SIL once threatened to call CPS on my because I took a nap, while 14 weeks pregnant, while my kids watched a movie.  She didn't agree with my parenting style.  At time, she had one child and I was pregnant with #6.  Each time I have a kid, she has something to say. For example, she has told people that I have so many kids because I don't know how to do anything else and she'll never have anymore kids because of me.  She did end up having another kid after that statement, and I laughed.  We are both SAHMs, so insulting me for having children and staying home with them is pretty much a slap in the face for her, right? And that is just one thing she has said.  I've had countless years of flaming from her.  FB is her favorite place to bash, for all of our family members to see. I did block her, so she has to find other ways to get her feelings out.  BUT, the look on her face every time she finds out I'm pregnant is just priceless.  It completely ruins her day.  I live for that shit.  I've had so many negative comments and opinions about my children from all over that I just…ignore it.  There's nothing more that I can do. It doesn't matter what you say to them.  They will continue doing and saying whatever they want.  Just remember, they're obviously miserable people, don't let them win.  

khochanadel

I have also been surprised by the lack of negative comments. I was expecting a ton of "it's about time!" (I'm only 33 but am the oldest of all my cousins who had all their babies in late teens, early 20s) but just had happy so far.

When I do get it though, imma put a stop to it immediately. No one should have to put up with that.

evamarta

I can definitely relate to this! My family is very judgmental because I am not married to my fiancé and we are living together right now too. At first I allowed their negativity to bring me down and make me feel like I wasn't ready to be a parent and it caused a lot of tension between my SO and I. However, this time around as soon as my family started hinting at negative comments, I cut them off and let them know that I would not be speaking to them if anything they had to say was negative.

Even If they don't agree with your decision they should understand that being pregnant is a difficult journey and negativity does not help anyone. I stuck to my guns and didn't speak to them for about a week but eventually they came around and all they have had to say is positive things. Stay strong, mama!