My missed miscarriage experience

amyegeer

My husband and I were excited to find out on August 8th that were pregnant, after only two months of trying for our first baby.  (I am 33 years old.)  Our pregnancy was confirmed at my GP's office the following week.  Though my beta number was low (104) for how far along we thought we were, subsequent checks revealed that our numbers were doubling as expected.

We had our first ultrasound on August 26th, and saw a strong heartbeat.  Our baby was measuring at 6 weeks; about a week behind what we thought.  It was also flagged that my amniotic fluid was very low (a condition called oligohydramnios), which is apparently poses a significant risk if it happens in first trimester.  As such, we were referred for a second ultrasound the following week, at which point the baby was measuring at seven weeks, still with a strong heartbeat but still with low amniotic fluid.

It was never clearly explained to us by our GP the implications of oligohydramnios, but we were referred to the Early Pregnancy Clinic at a nearby hospital.  When I called the Early Pregnancy Clinic to make an appointment, they were utterly confused as to why I had been referred there, as this was a clinic designed for women who had miscarried or who were confirmed about to miscarry.  They suggested I get in touch with our OB (whom I wasn't supposed to start seeing until the 11-week mark) basically because it didn't seem as though my GPs office was equipped to provide me with the information or level of care I needed.

We were lucky to get an appointment with our OB for September 14th, which would have been the 9-week mark.  I had started spotting lightly the week before, but it had stopped, and therefore we were hopeful that it was just "normal" first trimester spotting.  We had an ultrasound that morning, before meeting with the doctor, and the tech, unfortunately, could not find the heartbeat.  The baby at stopped growing at 7 weeks.  And yet, my symptoms (sore breasts and vomiting) were still as strong as ever.  (Apparently what we had is known as a "missed miscarriage".)

We met with the OB several minutes after finding out this disappointing news, and he was absolutely wonderful.  Incredibly empathetic, and yet to-the-point with respect to our options.  (For the record, our options were to wait and miscarry naturally, take some sort of medication to induce "labour", or have a D&C.)

We opted to wait to miscarry naturally, and I started spotting again shortly after our visit to the OB.  The spotting started to get heavier throughout the following days, and ended up miscarrying at home on Friday September 18th.  The OB had said the process would take about 4-6 hours, and it took about 5.  It started around 5:30PM with mild period-like cramps, which became more frequent (I would assume like contractions) and painful as time went on.  I would go to the bathroom and pass blood and some clots, and the pain started to become unbearable.  Finally, around 10:30PM, I passed *something* (I didn't look!), and the relief was instant.  I assume that this was the actual sac containing the embryo.  Shortly after, I passed a large clot, and throughout the course of the night continued to pass more along with lots of blood as I went to the washroom.  The bleeding was very heavy over the course of that night, but had lessened a bit by morning to become like a "normal" period.

Throughout the following days, I continued to pass more clots, but I wasn't in pain and the bleeding lessened as time went on.  I bled for about two weeks, with it getting considerably heavier again on the Tuesday before getting lighter and tapering off by October 1st.  The other parts of the physical recovery were a bit tough; I was back at the gym the following Tuesday (four days after the miscarriage) but I certainly felt lightheaded, as though I had lost a lot of blood.  But following that, I started to get stronger and back to my "old self".

My first period came on October 19th, 31 days after our miscarriage.  It was definitely heavier and more painful than usual, with many clots.  But it only lasted less than a week, and I only really had two truly uncomfortable days when I normally have one.

Although miscarrying was disappointing, the fact that my husband and I didn't have much difficultly getting pregnant made the whole thing a bit easier on us.  I cannot even imagine how couples who have been trying for a long time feel emotionally when they go through something like this.  We're not in a rush to start trying again, as given how physically tough this whole process has been on me (two months of pregnancy with some pretty bad fatigue and vomiting plus the physical pain of and recovery from miscarriage), we are really appreciating being in good health these days.  That said, we're not not trying, so who's to say when I'll be back on this site regularly with a more positive story to tell.

There are a few good things that have come out of this.  For one, the OB we've been referred to is amazing, and we look forward to going to him when we do get pregnant again.  We wouldn't have gotten in with him had we not had a poor prognosis in the first place, as he tends to focus on high-risk patients.  For two, I ended up getting a really good opportunity at work which I probably wouldn't have wanted to take on had I known that I'd be going on leave in a matter of months.  (More travelling.)  And finally, I know now that if, heaven forbid, we have to go through this again . . . we'll be ok.  (Oh . . . and I switched GPs!)

I've told a number of people about our experience, and it's pretty mind-blowing just how common miscarriages are.  The majority of people I've told have said "oh, that happened to us" or "oh, that happened to my friend".  It's too bad it's such a taboo subject, because for me, personally, being open about it has really helped.

I do hope that my story in some way helps those of you who are going through something like this.  I am not typically one who posts my personal experiences on online forums (I don't even have Facebook!), but I did find when going through all of this it helped to read the stories of others.

I'll be sure to provide an update when we are expecting again! 

mom2adoodle

Thanks for sharing your story! Good luck

queenklau

I am so sorry you had to go through that. I am glad you are so positive about the situation.

I found out yesterday that I also had a mmc. This is actually my second one in a row. I am between the denial and anger phase of grief. I will have a d&c on Monday and get the baby and I tested because I want to do everything I can to prevent it from happening again.

Fortunately, once you have had a mmc, you have a very low chance of having another one. I am sure you will go on and have a healthy pregnancy/ies, when you are ready. Take care and be kind to yourself.