Tips for husband

cms5315

Hi! looking for some advice. Sadly I'm back at work as a nurse on night shift - we thought that would be easier with the baby but after I leave around 7p she gets uncontrollably fussy for 20-30 minutes. She doesn't do this with me and takes the bottle fine during the day (she's breastfed). He's starting to get frustrated and he's doing the best he can (walks with her, has her up right, white noise) but can't calm her down. Any tips? He thinks maybe trying formula? I don't know, I feel awful, and wish I could be there to help.

jmucc421

I really have no clue or experience with this situation..but my guess is after a few days or weeks possibly your dd will get used to him being with her/giving her a bottle...she probably just needs a little time to get used to a new routine. Also, I know my husband gets frustrated easily when he can't figure out what she needs and I'm 100% convinced she can sense that so maybe tell ur dh to take a deep breath and try to relax (even though I know that's hard)

Mama.Anna

Maybe a warm bath would calm her down and then she would take the bottle better? Wish I had better advice. I hope it all works out!

n3na94

jmucc421 said:

I really have no clue or experience with this situation..but my guess is after a few days or weeks possibly your dd will get used to him being with her/giving her a bottle...she probably just needs a little time to get used to a new routine. Also, I know my husband gets frustrated easily when he can't figure out what she needs and I'm 100% convinced she can sense that so maybe tell ur dh to take a deep breath and try to relax (even though I know that's hard)

I think that's true about the baby sensing it when someone is frustrated or tense. It happens when my brother is taking care of of my son and when I get him he calms down but it's because I stay calm. Maybe give her time. You've been with her quite some time and she needs time to get used to you being away from her. A warm bath could help I think. And I don't think it would make a difference to try formula instead of BM. I think she just doesn't want to take the bottle during the time she's fussy. Try a bath and then when she's calm give her the bottle. Maybe your husband can practice giving her a bottle when you're home, so she gets used to it. Hope this helps and I really hope this works out! Good luck mama don't worry everything will be okay!

kristenlambke

Aww! I feel for you both. Does baby like being in the stroller/carrier or in the car? Could they go for a walk or car ride? When my baby gets fussy and I cant calm her down, a walk with her in a wrap does the trick. I think the change of scenery helps distract her.

Good luck! I'm sure they'll both adjust quickly.

mrsrep123

Ditto what other posts suggest and also maybe leave something with your scent?? Maybe the shirt you slept in?? Then your DH can put it over his shoulder or something when he feeds her?? Just a thought...

Good luck. I go back to work next Monday I took an evening shift hoping it would help my DH since we/I could take care of and be with LO in the morning then DH would have LO ~6 hours until bedtime. Crossing my fingers.

pandd10513

My LO does this for DH too. She's fine when I leave her for work with MIL. I think it's a routine LO needs to get in. At this age they just want their mama and the comfort of nursing.

randa923

They just need to adjust. There's no need to try formula if you're able to provide the breastmilk-it won't help. Give it some time the two of them will find their routine. My little guy does this sometimes too. I actually recorded a song I sing to him on my husband's phone in case he needs it. For the most part they have figured it out without much of my help though.

ChelcLynn123

Gah! I know the feeling. I work as a nurse from 3pm-11pm. Luckily only 8 hour shifts. But that is over DS bedtime. DH always says that DS flips out after feeding (he gets a bottle of breast milk when I'm not home) and before he falls asleep. He, however, does not flip out for me. I try to chalk it up to just a change in his routine, even though it's minor. Even when I'm home and DH takes over bedtime duties, DS flips. I try not to step in because I don't want DH to think he's doing something wrong and DS needs to get used to both routines. Mind you, the only difference in the routine is the person putting him to bed.

acciocoffee

LO only does this with my in-laws! She is fine with literally everyone else, but she just flips out when they have her. MIL is her daycare now so I am just hoping she grows out of it soon.