First pregnancy, First loss — The Bump
May 2016 Moms

First pregnancy, First loss

My husband and I have wanted a baby for a long time, but we wanted to wait for the right time- after I finished grad school and started working. We were SO excited when we found out I was pregnant last month. We told our immediate family and close friends as soon as we got the positive pregnancy test. We were making plans, picking out names, and have even started on a nursery. I went in for my first ultrasound a week and a half ago, and they saw a gestational sac but no embryo. They said I was measuring more like 5 weeks, when I thought I was 7 weeks already. They asked me to come back in a week or two to check how the embryo was growing. I tried to hope for the best, but I felt very strongly that my baby was not growing anymore. Initially, I had a lot of pregnancy symptoms: morning sickness, severe fatigue, sore breasts, bloating, etc. The last 3-4 days those symptoms have greatly reduced. This weekend I was feeling pretty awesome actually, not tired, not hungry all the time. It was a great weekend but in the back of my mind I worried about the reduction in symptoms. Then I started spotting yesterday and tried to prepare myself that I would be getting bad news at my doctor's appointment. I went to the doctor today and the sac looked exactly the same as before: measured 5 weeks, no embryo. As much as I had tried to prepare myself for that outcome, seeing the ultrasound and hearing the doctor's words completely devastated me. They want me to have more bloodwork done to confirm that my hormone levels are dropping before deciding on a miscarriage route. Honestly, I don't think I'll need a D&C or medication, the rest of the day today I've bled more heavily with clots visible in it. Since I got home from work, I've just been lying in bed crying. I've only told 2 people so far and I ended up bawling and being unable to speak both times. With it being my first pregnancy and being young and healthy, I kind of felt invincible, my pregnancy seemed so low risk. And now it's over before it barely even began. And all our plans are all for naught. The loss of this pregnancy has hit me much harder than I thought it would. My little sister delivered a healthy baby girl last Thursday and I am so happy for her. That seems so far off to me now. I just needed to get all those feelings out in this community of mothers.

Re: First pregnancy, First loss

  • So sorry for your loss! I know how hard it is and nothing that anyone says will make you feel better right now, but please know that you will be a mother, this time it just wasn't meant to be. I had a miscarriage with my first. It was pretty hard breaking and it took me a while to get over the fact I had lost a baby. I know now that it was probably for the best. Maybe there was something wrong and it was nature's way to tell me this was not the one. I now have a toddler and another one on the way. Don't give up hope! Soon you will have your family, you now know that you're able to conceive. This sadness will pass. I promise!
  • So sorry for your loss. Hopefully you will be able to try again soon. That is if you want to.

    TTC#1 July 2015 
    • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
    • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
    TTC#2 April 2019 

  • Sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers! xxx
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • So so sorry to hear about your loss :( I miscarried in May, and it was one of the most difficult times I've ever gone through. Let yourself grieve as long as you need to. Lots of hugs.
    Pregnancy Ticker

    Wife - 11.1.14 | Momma - 5.5.16 | 8.14.17
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself during this time and spend time with your family.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
    Baby # 1: BFP 10/26/12: Baby girl born 7/1/13
    Baby #2: BFP 9/2/15: EDD 5/15/16
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.

    11.2011 - DS1

    02.2013 - loss at 6 wks

    06.2014 - DS2

    10.2015 - loss at 12 wks

    03.2017 - DD

  • I'm so sorry to hear this :( thinking of you.

    June Siggy Challenge: Dad Fails

    Married 7.28.2012
    DD born 7.27.2014
    BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
    BFP 4.12.2016...EDD: Christmas Eve 2016!

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you! You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. Be kind to yourself, and take the time you need.

  • I'm so sorry. It's so hard. Allow yourself to grieve and feel sad/mad/whatever. Go easy on yourself.
    bfp: 09.22.10   m/c 11.05.10 @ 10w5d
    bfp: 10.02.12  m/c 11.05.12 @ 9w3d
    bfp: 05.15.15  m/c 06.25.15 @ 9w6d
    bfp: 09.22.15  m/c 10.20.15 @ 8w1d

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

  • I'm so sorry.  As PP said, allow yourself time to grieve.  Unfortunately, many women have been in the same place (myself included) and your feelings are all very valid.  It is a very hurtful experience and I'm sorry for your loss.  xoxox.


    image        image

  • I'm so sorry you're going through this :(
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I miscarried in May and like PP said, it was one of the most difficult things I have been through. Sending you lots of hugs and you should take all the time you need to grieve your loss.


    Just know you are not alone!

  • I'm so sorry you're going through this. Thoughts and prayers.
    *Siggy Warning*
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

  • Sorry for your loss :(

    Married to my Soul Mate since 09/06/09

    BabyFruit Ticker

    MC 10.23.15 @ 10 weeks
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.


    Me 31 DH 41

    TTC #1 since August 2014
    RE August 2015
    Surprise BFP! September 1, 2015
    IT'S A GIRL!!!
    Baby Eden born 5/11/16 <3 <3 <3

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Take time to take care of yourself. I hope you get your rainbow baby soon.

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker

    BFP 1: 9/15/2013 | DD 5/23/2014
    BFP 2: 9/15/2015 | EDD 5/26/2016

  • So very sorry for your loss.  Be kind to yourself.  
  • So sorry for your loss! Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way!
  • Aww I am so so sorry. I had a missed miscarriage in July, and could not believe how devastated I was. I thought I would never heal. It never helped me to hear that it was "meant to be"-- I don't know why that just wasn't comforting. I wanted that baby so badly, and even now it makes me sad to think about it. It just sucks. Take care of yourself and surround yourself with the best people you know. Confide in others, let them make you food and tell you jokes and take your mind off of it. That's all that helped me. It may not seem like it, but eventually you will feel better. I'm just so sorry. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss :( Praying for a future healthy baby for you and your DH
  • I'm so sorry for your loss :( it's gut wrenching
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