Pregnant after a Loss

Advise on doctor

I was wondering if you all ever had doctors who wouldn't let you have extra ultrasounds for peace of mind. I have my first ultrasound next Monday then if everything is ok I wouldn't have one until I was at 12/13 weeks. He said it would be pointless but I kind of need that. Should I just put my foot down or just listen to the doctor? Thank you

Re: Advise on doctor

  • That's a tough question. The rational side of me says that you will have to learn to live with the uncertainty and practice positive thinking/have faith. You could have an U/S every minute and it would just be an obsessive need to know everything is ok the next minute. Ultimately, whatever is going to happen is going to happen though. I'm kind of terrified of U/Ss because I have had such bad news, traumatizing, as much as I can't wait to see what, if anything is going on.

    I found a card that my fertility clinic gave me after my transfer about worrying. One of the questions was, "Is this thought helping you?" Pretty basic and doesn't require a whole lot of positivity, just good self-care. My answer was resoundingly "no" when I have been freaking out. It just helps me forget it is happening at all, which has been the most helpful tool for me at this point.

    *****Losses Mentioned*****BFP MENTIONED*****ALL WELCOME******ALL ABOARD!!

    Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
    Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
    Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.

    DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!

    Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!

  • I agree with your doctor, honestly. There's not much that can be gained from constant u/s..they could tell you if there was a heartbeat, but it's just going to add extra stress to try to track the growth so frequently. Also, there is a lot of time and resources that go into giving u/s, it's not something that's free. At a busy practice, every time you're getting an u/s means someone else isn't. 

    Think about it in terms of any other medical screening test. If you're nervous about breast cancer, you don't start getting monthly mammograms, or nervous about cervical cancer monthly pap smears, right? If something is potentially wrong they'll do it more often, otherwise you just have to wait until the next one.

    I consider it practice for motherhood. You want to know 100% at all times that everything is fine, but you can't ever know that. You have to just let go a bit and accept that things will be as they will be. 
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  • I would want a dr that was understanding of my situation and anxiety. I haven't personally asked for any extra u/s but i have had one at every appt so far. 6 wks, 8 wks, 11 wks. He is a high risk dr so I'm not sure if that is just his practice or if it's because of my history. I changed offices when i found out i was pregnant the first time because i really didn't want to go down that road where i was. After two mmc i am so glad i did. I cant imagine going through that with my previous dr. At my last appt he told me if i had questions or concerns to call even if it was 2 a.m., if i came in 100 times before i delivered this baby that was fine and to never think i am bothering them.
  • Put your foot down! Or find a new doctor, be prepared for that option. My sister switched mid-pregnancy and I switched after my loss. It's important to treat the physical and emotional side of pregnancy, especially after a loss.
  • At my follow-up for my miscarriage, my doctor told me that their office would provide with extra monitoring, reassurance for future pregnancies; and to fight for it if the front desk pushed back on scheduling.

    I just received my BFP, and will be calling tomorrow to schedule appointment.  I'm hopeful they are as helpful as my doctor indicated they would be.

    Good luck!

  • Thank you everyone for the advise. I know I just need to trust everything will be ok it's just hard. I actually just changed doctors with this new pregnancy. I will see how the first ultrasound goes, and try to be calm but if really need it for mental help call them.
  • My doctor referred me for one scan at 6weeks but couldn't ask for any more at the hospital. As it was 'for reassurance' my health insurance wouldn't cover it either.

    For myself, having had a MMC and no one listening to me last time when I knew something was wrong, I needed the reassurance of regular scans.
    So I paid to have scans fortnightly throughot my first trimester. We have scans at 12 weeks and 20 weeks in the UK, and I paid for a scan halfway at 16weeks - I feel so much better for having done so, and no amount of money spent on scans equates the peace of mind, decreasing of anxiety and stress and knowing my baby is safe, healthy, and alive.
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