Pregnant after a Loss

uncool comments

We are almost 14 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby. We have 4 beautiful, healthy boys and experience a blighted ovum with miscarriage 2 years ago this week and a miscarriage at 11 weeks this past april. Everything is going great and according to ultrasound this baby is also a boy! #boys rule
The bad part is the couple of weird comments like... well u had ypur chance at a girl. .... or, you know those others must have been girls.... or, good thing your body likes boys

Um WTC.... my body didn't kill those babies.... no matter what sex they were. And ... do people really think that and do they honestly think it's appropriate to say that? Smh.... I'm thrilled with another boy... well as thrilled as u can be when every day is filled with worry....

Just needed to vent

Ps... added a recent pic of our big boy

Re: uncool comments

  • kimey1kimey1 member
    edited October 2015
    None of what they said is appropriate but "you know those others must have been girls" is atrocious. I imagine these are people who have never tried for a baby or have been pregnant intentionally? Going through a loss is tough enough. Hearing these types of comments is just pouring salt on those wounds that you've tucked away.
    I'm sorry you had to hear this! :-O
  • People and their comments! My mom had five girls and then a boy, so we always heard the comments like 'you finally got your boy, then you were done' and then all the glorious comments about menstruation and teen girls in general. I think after having two in a row of any sex, people just assume any other kids you have is an attempt to have the other sex. My SIL just had her fourth boy and would be happy with a healthy baby of either sex. But, having hand me downs from three others was nice she said since she plans for him to be her last baby. Now I am getting all of those hand me downs for our boy. Yay! Ignore the well meaning but not thought out comments and just enjoy your rainbow pregnancy as much as you can.
  • Loading the player...
  • People just blurt out the craziest stuff!
  • Screw them. Very inappropriate. Cute baby!!
    ******TW******Siggy warning
    BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
    BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; 
    BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016 

       Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • I don't even know what that means about the girls comment. It makes no sense whatsoever. I have nothing to say except that people say stupid things... I knew a family who had two girls and then she got pregnant with twin girls and somebody said "oh you must be disappointed you aren't having a boy." The father very strongly retorted, "we couldn't be more thrilled having 2 more girls. We love girls." Most people don't have a quick retort ready.

    Have a blanket "barrier" statement that feels genuine to you and then try and just forgot the inconsiderate comments. Easier said than done.
    *****Losses Mentioned*****BFP MENTIONED*****ALL WELCOME******ALL ABOARD!!

    Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
    Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
    Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.

    DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!

    Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!

  • What is wrong with people?!? So sorry you had to hear that.
    1st Pregnancy: EDD 12/31/15; Diagnosed Turner's with terminal cystic hygroma 13wks; induced at 14wks, +3 d+c's.
    2nd Pregnancy: BFP 10/8/15; EDD 6/21/16
  • I feel especially after a loss that most people don't know what to say and unfortunately choose poorly.  So happy for you and your little one.
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
  • I was discharged from the hospital and finally enough, my husbands relatives arrived, one of my husbands sister in law, has been isolated from the family because of personality issues and conflicts, which somehow my baby and me miraculously resolved..
    As I was grieving and telling my experience and miscarriage, here she was blurting her successful pregnancy and how she deliver her babies..
    I was just crying, and everyone was looking at each other, and started with a questionable stare with her, unfortunately she couldn't recognize.
    She was just couldn't get any clue and idea what just happened.. Very uncool!!
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