Babies: 0 - 3 Months
allstagg
member
can't put baby down
allstagg
member
my newborn will be 1 month old on the 17th and i literally cannot put him down for a simple nap. i rock him to a deep sleep and try to set him down and the second he leaves my body he wakes right up and starts to fuss and cry to be held again. is anyone else having this problem? any suggestions? we have tried the crib, co sleeper, bassinet, mamaroo, etc. the only way to get a 2-4 hour block of sleep at night is if i let him sleep in my arms.
a lot of my family members tell me to just put him down and let him cry it out but i feel like he is too young for that. also, when he cries, he tenses up completely and spits up a lot and once spit up while trying to breathe and choked on it which scared me half the death.
Re: can't put baby down
Are you swaddling your lo?
NOOOOO, you're LO is way too young to let him cry. You are right to not listen to that advice.
My first child, my son, was that way. He had to sleep on me for the first month or so. It sucked but it passed.
I also think the RnP is a god send, as well as swaddling. Get the swaddle nice and tight and use it for naps and night time. Use a white noise machine and make the area comfortable and warm.
When laying your LO down, keep her as close to your body as possible for as long as you can before separating yourself. I would basically have to lean all the way into the RnP or crib before letting DD go. Babies get the feeling of falling when laid down on their back and that ALWAYS startles them awake. Give it a try.
Definitely too young for cry it out. The MINIMUM age is 4 months, and many women choose to wait until closer to 6 months to start sleep training.
My DD was good for the first few weeks, but then weeks 4-8 would only sleep on top of me. Turns out she has GERD, which is severe reflux, and laying her down caused her to reflux and wake up (and usually spit up). When she slept on top of me in the recliner she was usually on her side on a Boppy pillow against me, so it didn't bother her as much as being flat on her back did.
As soon as we got a prescription for Zantac she went back into the bassinet and eventually the crib. Could you have a reflux issue? Does LO spit up a lot? Does she arch her back, unlatch, and cry during feedings sometimes? Does it seem like she wants to eat more but is in pain and can't do it? Can you hear her refluxing and swallowing it (I could before the medication)? If any of these sound like you, it might be worth a visit to the doctor to ask about it.
Otherwise, it could just be that the loss of body warmth when you transfer LO is causing the wakeup. Make sure she is adequately clothed at night, and try a tight swaddle, that might help.
What the hell is that?!
Seriously...what is that and why would you feed it to a one month old? At that age they aren't supposed to get anything other than breastmilk or formula unless your doctor has advised it (and I don't see what other than actual vitamin supplements or medication they would advise for a baby that young).
When I was having this problem this advice did super annoy me...but you can also just embrace and enjoy it. At some point LO won't want to snuggle with you anymore, and you'll probably miss it! I was lucky that my husband convinced me to get a gliding recliner in the nursery instead of a gliding chair with ottoman...I would recline that thing and just sleep there...probably the most comfortable way to sleep other than a bed. it got EXTREMELY HORRIBLE to not sleep in a bed at all for 4 weeks, but I did really enjoy the snuggle time. Sometimes even now that LO sleeps in her crib at night I will fall asleep in the recliner while I'm nursing her. It happened last night during a midnight feeding...I woke up at 2:15am like "what just happened?" and then stuck her in the crib. :-)
I get a lot of comments from the Peanut Gallery, too. When I got the wrap my MIL was like, "You're gonna need it because she likes being on you." She also lectures me on letting her sleep in me. In her case, she's just mad that the baby doesn't want her to rock her to sleep. "She's rocked all of her other grandkids." *sigh*
It's completely unrealistic to try and work with a newborn. Most babies won't sleep in a crib until at least 6 months old, and that's after doing sleep training. It's a large open space and it's flat. Babies hate both of those things.
Are you trying or willing to try any of the suggestions you've been given? The crib is going to keep disappointing you so I suggest you find a different place to have your LO nap like a swing or RnP.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
I'm one of those controversial people who co-sleep, so take my opinion for what that's worth when it comes to putting him down in your bed. There are some agencies who support it, like La Leche, and you can find guidelines on their site like no pillows that you aren't using, etc. You could always get one of those little "nests" that are designed to go in your bed. We even have an Arm's Reach co-sleeper, but we just change her in it and lay her on her back until she gets fussy. She won't fall asleep in it.
Cuddles are one thing, but I know what you mean about being productive. I really would try a K'tan if you don't love your carrier because your baby sounds like mine and it works for me. She didn't like it the first time, but she fell right sleep the second time and stayed sleep.
I assume this stage won't last forever. Is your husband able to transfer her once asleep? The few times my husband has her he's usually successful. My friend said that her husband would "shush" while transferring both of their babies and it worked...but it never worked for her.
I also hear people having success with placing a heating pad on the mattress and removing it before you put the baby in, but it leaves the mattress warm.
This is all great advice and the perfect example of trial and error, which is what parenting is! Find what works, even if it's not ideal and go with it. Sleep and habits are always changing so do what you have to now to get the most sleep.
My DD slept swaddled in the RnP at night and would sleep for 10-12 hours. That thing is amazing. For real.
She's two months as of yesterday, and she's curled up next to me, comfort nursing as we speak.
She did lay on my bed for a long time this week. She never feel sleep, but I was able to fold a bunch of clothes
I'll tell you this about that Baby K'tan, she had two extremely fussy days this week. I tried everything and, for the first time, she wouldn't even eat! I popped her in the Baby K' tan in the hug position and she fell asleep! I was shocked, and relieved. She had cried so much that day that I cried! I was also able to take her out of the wrap and lay her down on the bed, where she slept for a little while until she got hungry.
She had rolled from her side, I side lay when I nurse, to her back twice this week which makes me think she may be getting a little more independent. We'll see!
How are you guys doing over there? What's going on?!
I know nothing about this, but just saw a Mammas and Pappas carrier that is selling itself by having a removable baby "pod" that allows baby to stay asleep and still be removed from the carrier.