Baby Showers
XochiQuetzalLee
member
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registry awkwardness
XochiQuetzalLee
member
in Baby Showers
Hi everyone,
This is my first thread! 
To my understanding, a registry is primarily a shopping list for the MTB. It's not necessarily supposed to be a list of "buy this for me" expectations, right?
For that reason, I feel a little awkward when people start grilling me about my registry. "where are you registered, what's on your registry, why aren't you registered at so-and-so instead, you really should do this or that"
This usually happens after someone discovers that we're registered at Amazon. Apparently my husband's side of the family is not tech savvy at all, and many of them think it's really strange that we would have an online registry.
But here's my thing. If people are gracious and generous enough to buy us ANYthing, then that's wonderful. I don't want people obsessing over the registry or thinking they have to buy the EXACT thing from the EXACT place, or that they are required to buy us anything at all. And I'm not going to go to the trouble of creating a second registry just to make it easier for people to spend money on us.
I try to redirect them to the hostess of my baby shower but many of them haven't met her in person yet and I guess they feel more comfortable talking with me about it. So I end up getting stuck explaining how to use Amazon and why it's convenient, etc.... which boils down to a "this is how you buy me stuff" conversation. It just feels so awkward and surreal and tacky.
I almost want to tell people that I'm not registered anywhere but I can see how that would present logistical issues also.
Anyway I hope I'm making sense...
Advice?
Re: registry awkwardness
That said, i can kind of understand your in-laws POV. I am a big fan of online shopping, I have Amazon prime and do honest delivery for diapers and other baby stuff/cleaning supplies. However, when it comes to baby gifts, I much prefer shopping in person. I love looking at all the sweet baby things. My go-to gift is a big basket filled with some registry items and some things I love. So not sticking to the registry is Nbd to me, but some people really worry about it.
If you know that you have friends and family like this, then I think it's a nice thing to do - setting up a registry at a local store. Then you can say "I'm registered and Amazon.com and Target (or wherever)" and I'd bet you that all the quesitons/ all the "you should do ___" will end.
It's one of those "you can't win" things and why it's just better to have options so that people can do what they want and not fear about upsetting you!
After the 2nd time Mom told me I should register at Walmart, I told her this: I don't think I need another registry because Amazon gives people the option of marking items "purchased from another store." People don't have to order online. I figured most people are going to buy whatever clothes/bibs/blankets/toys they want or think is cute anyway (on the registry or not). If someone wants to buy something big, it's easier on Amazon because they ship it straight to my house (I'll be traveling over 600 miles for my shower and there won't be room to take a whole bunch of big stuff back anyway).
She finally saw my point.
Also for this reason, clothes aren't even on my registry.
- You're absolutely right about what the registry is for. I add everything for the completion bonuses.
- I agree with the PPs that a Target/BBB/Walmart/BRU registry will stop the comments, and won't hurt.
- I feel like an ASS, cause technically I have 4 registries. BUT it's because I'm a huge bargain shopper and hate the thought of people spending a ton of money on me, so I comparison shop for them and add the best priced item to the store registry.
I agree with making a small registry somewhere, and put on there the things that you will need duplicates of (diapers, wipes, shampoo/body wash, etc). If someone sees your registry and there is nothing they want to purchase, then they can find something that they just like, or get a gift card and a book or something.
I am a STM who once lived in a small house and got rid of a ton of items because we didn't have space to store it, and we were unsure if we would have another. Well, we are expecting again, and know that we will need to re-purchase a lot of items, so we have a Amazon registry as our list to purchase from (for our PERSONAL use). I wont be having another shower (obviously), but my friends/family are the type to still expect there to be a registry so they can buy a gift. So I just did a tiny one at a store, that just includes a handful of items under $20.