Who is still having sex? — The Bump
December 2015 Moms

Who is still having sex?

I feel awful about it but I just can't have sex anymore with this pregnancy.  My ligament pain is just so bad that all positions are just so uncomfortable.  Takes me like 10 minutes to change positions and I huff and puff to finally get a tad more comfortable to then find my husband has lost interest.  Sad considering my husband and I have a very good sex life but man...just isn't happening anymore.  So, who is still able to have sex?  Lucky you! 

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Me:34      DH:41      1 son: 6       2 step sons: 18, 12

BFP: 4/24/08 - Missed Miscarriage found 5/29/08

BFP: 11/21/08 - DS born 7/13/09

BFP:5/8/14  - Chemical pregnancy

BFP: 4/11/15....stick baby stick!!!

momotheflyinglemurZucchettoBaby
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Re: Who is still having sex?

  • We are, but not as regularly. Its started getting more difficult for my boyfriend to get past the thought of the baby and much more difficult for me to get much enjoyment.
    ToneGirlenigmaanjel
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  • We are but not as much, only because he's started a new job so it's pretty stressful and I'm tired. He has to do most of the work, when I change position he needs to help me because I get out of breath easily and it's difficult
    ToneGirl
  • Not me! I've been ordered on pelvic rest since week 22 for the rest of my pregnancy, and was having spotting issues before that so it's been even longer. Ugh.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Definitely not me either! After getting pregnant my sex drive went to zero and with the HG, migraines, back pain and PTL scares I honestly can't say I've ever had a "good day" during this pregnancy. We did a few times in the first trimester but I'd usually wind up vomiting shortly after from all the movement. Tried in the second trimester some more and it was too painful due to increased blood flow down there, made me super nauseous and just wasn't really enjoyable.
    Just before 30 weeks I started with a series of PTL scares so now on doctor ordered pelvic rest for the remainder of pregnancy (which I am completely ok with).
    DH and I just focus on spending more time together and intimacy that doesn't involve sex.
    After I'm cleared from healing from delivery though....it's on!!!!
    nram25rzarembaDaphneh28
  • Nope. 32 weeks and giving hand jobs lol.
    What is this life?

    At least you're doing that! I've been on pelvic rest on and off and now am on again and DH refuses anything to be done to him as he deems it unfair that I have to do all the work and cannot have any fun myself. Super sweet gesture but I'm going bananas so I know he is too!
    Taylovesbradangelicmommyprinloly
  • I have once since being in the third trimester because the SO is afraid he'll hurt the babies but we have agreed that once I'm closer (I'm 32wks) we'll try again.Oral sex is still in the picture though and he's just fine with that lol.
  • We are, but it's pretty intermittent. Getting us both in the mood with time is difficult & now I'm on temp rest b/c the baby bruised my bladder (apparently this is a thing.) So it hurts every time I move. :( I plan on trying again asap though. Also, those of us who still can should try to enjoy it now, it can be longer than 6 weeks after baby before we can physically be up for sex & maybe even longer before we WANT to have sex. The longest shortest time podcast had a great episode about postpartum sex. They were talking months & more than 2! I've already told my husband that he's going to have to learn to ask for a blowjob (I've told him I'll always give him one, but he seldom asks b-c he feels bad.) I explained that it might be a while before I can or will want to do anything myself, but I want to make sure he's still happy. No sexy time is usually how divorce happens!
  • I am! It has slowed down a lot, maybe once per week. And then DH got a staph infection 10 days ago so we couldn't even touch (that sucked) but now he's better I intend on starting back up. I have found laying down spooning position works well, or missionary with him on his knees, holding my bent knees is good too. You definitely have to get creative, but I hope we can continue! After birth we have no sex mandatory orders for 6 weeks, something to keep in mind. 

    LMJL
  • @Uwannalala-that just made me giggle out loud! I'd rather do that too most of these days. The other morning my honey woke me up all amorous & I had to pee like a champ, but I wentt along & then realized he just wanted a BJ & I was so happy! Don't tell him that though it might hurt his feelings! ;)
    momotheflyinglemur
  • Nope. Nope nope nope.
    12815AEEArzaremba
  • We have a couple of times this trimester, but our schedules just aren't meshing anymore. I want it more now than in the second trimester and I bug him all the time. Laying on my side, with him between my legs works really well and doggy style.
  • Nope. Not at all. He says it freaks him out that there's a little dude in there who grabs himself and he is determined that if we did, his son would be in there touching himself. That and all the movement I feel makes me not able to concentrate on the deed
    uhhlexisss
  • Rarely ... I think twice in the last few months? I'm so uncomfortable all the time. I know DH wants to but he's super respectful and knows immediately if I'm not into it (and often before) so neither of us initiate it very often. When it does happen it's always initiated by him and he always does all the work. At this point I'm also feeling super unattractive which doesn't help. It's a catch 22. Sex makes me feel more attractive, but when i'm not feeling attractive I don't want sex, and therefore the lack of sex makes me feel unattractive. 
    daylynjelbou
  • Dying @AbigailCambio literally dying!!
  • yea...so... its uncomfortable, but my libido is through the roof. DH is actually annoyed sometimes since I wake him in the am. I try not to...but... 
    Mother0fDragons[Deleted User]
  • I've been having some really sexy dreams lately. I posted in another thread the day that I ambushed SO first thing in the morning because I dreamed that him and a clone of him were doing me, then immediately had another dream of he and I doing it in a high school classroom. hahaha

    I am 29w4d and uncomfortable most of the time, but I am still very happy to say that I was able to get comfortably on top and that it was super fun. We are probably down to once every couple weeks, but we are still very intimate and the moment I want a little sumthing, sumthing, SO is right there and ready to satisfy. ;-P


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • We were at once a day, but for the past month it has been every other day since I feel like I've hit the first trimester all over again. O_o
    Married 05.19.07 | Together since 03.11.00 | Dom Born 02.06.12 
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    Pregnancy Ticker

  • mlss903 said:

    LMJL said:

    No sexy time is usually how divorce happens!

    Well, that's not even kind of true.
    I can speak from experience, it wasn't no sex that caused my divorce from my first husband ...there was LOTS of sex. The cause was that he was having it and I wasn't.
    theawc42nydiazam823tyro328
  • mltarriomltarrio
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    member
    edited October 2015
    We had been keeping busy in the bedroom up until recently. Then all of a sudden I hit third trimester and the sexy is gone. He's not that interested and I am a whale, plus then we both got sick. This might be the longest we have gone without in 15 years together. I really want to get things back on track though, because I miss it and there is going to be a serious dry spell after this baby comes out. I want to take advantage while I still can ;)

    Edited because I almost forgot how long we have been together. Pregnancy brain.
    maxinemason
  • I wish I was! But he's all the way over in Illinois with the Navy and I'm in California. Since he shipped out in May I've seen him once--for two days (and not overnight) for his boot camp graduation--in July. We are both looking forward to when we can reunite again! :)
  • We're still doing it, but a lot less often- like maybe once every 1-2 weeks now. I've had nausea and vomiting since 7 weeks, (at this point I think it's safe to say it's not going away until the baby comes) and it's really put a damper on things. And now it's even worse because I not only feel nauseous, but also find most positions pretty uncomfortable because of my bump. We've been through a few dry spells in the 15 years we've been together- but they were mostly due to military related things. I'm sure we'll get our grove back someday!
  • Perhaps you guys haven't known anyone that this has happened to but I know of a few marriages that really went south and ended up splitting up & everything started with the end of sexual intimacy. Yes, not every divorce starts this way, however I was just trying to share a perspective which I have heard elsewhere from others more experienced than I, that without some kind of sexual intimacy, especially in the months after birth, a relationship usually suffers negatively. I was, however, trying to be lighthearted about it. Apparently, Borat's sense of humor is not exactly appreciated on this forum.
  • Yep, but only once a week (maybe twice if I've had a pretty vivid dream ;). This our 4th (and he says final) LO, so we are just using positions that have worked with the other pregnancies. Spooning, doggy, and me on top are our usual go to's.
  • At least 1-4 times a week, if not sex than oral. Best positions for us are spooning, doggie, or reverse cowgirl! It is definitely more for him than me, I have no drive at all.. But it's not painful or uncomfortable at all for me, so why not!!
  • MrscrissienMrscrissien
    First Comment Photogenic
    member
    edited October 2015
    Still doing it...but like once every two weeks...sometimes he might be in the mood and I am mentally and physically there, but with my energy levels.... I just can't. I feel SO tired all the time and could very possibly fall asleep while doing it, if I said yes. However, whenever I get that slight rush of energy we take full advantage of it.

    9 more weeks to go!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Not meaning to change the subject but can anyone tell me why the whole paragraph I just typed only posted as the first word? I did have a sad face following the NOPE..... and about 4 other sentences. This is the second time I've posted (I think) and it cut off what I typed the last time. Is The Bump trying to tell me something?! Lol
    EEB88
  • We kind of are.  It's been a week, but when we do it my lady bits swell up for the next couple of days and it's uncomfortable.  



  • fadzak said:

    Omg after reading this im so confused! Ive been the one pouncing on my SO since day one and even now 30 weeks and im still the one jumping for it. Maybe its the stupid hormones hahaha! I was the same though with ny first pregnancy. Poor DH sometimes cant keep up lol!!!!!

    Is this your first?? When I was pregnant with my first we were having sex pretty much everyday. With this one, I am so tired all the time and he's not as nice to me as he was with my first. (He really spoiled me and now he actually expects me to do stuff like cook dinner. Ugh. ) :-P
    elboufadzak
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