NBR-Catholic gap

housewifehobbyist

Hi all!

 Not TTC related, but I'm going to a wedding with a Catholic gap on Saturday.  The ceremony is at 3:00 at a church,the reception is at 7:00 and the invitation states "Black Tie Optional".  I've never been to a wedding with a gap before, would it be considered odd to change my outfit & makeup between the ceremony and reception? We're going to my MIL's house not too far from the ceremony after so its totally feasible.  I'm just not sure what the norm is and I'm going to Rent The Runway today to pick something (or two) out.

FWIW I'm a bit of a peacock so if I get a chance to wear a pretty sparkly dress then I am going to wear the pretty sparkly dress.   

sldp123

I've never been to a wedding with a gap before either, but I don't think it would be odd to change at all if it's logistically feasible. I would not want to sit around for four hours in a fancy formal dress waiting for the reception, and what I would wear to church at 3pm vs. a black tie event at 7pm are totally different. 

Side note, I just used Rent the Runway for the first time for a wedding last month and LOVE it!! I don't think I'll ever buy a dress for an event again.

lalalorelai

So I never attended a wedding WITHOUT a gap until after I graduated college. It absolutely blew my mind that people had the ceremony and reception in the same place, immediately after one another. 

It would totally be normal to change in between the ceremony and reception. Wear that sparkly dress!

jhems776

I had a gap, wish I didn't.  Catholic weddings are early because you cannot have a full wedding mass after Saturday evening mass that is usually at 4:30.  It is normal for people to change in between.  Several people only came to one, either the wedding or reception.  I didn't mind but some people do.

housewifehobbyist

@sldp123 Rent The Runway is the best!! I've used it for years now, and never buy fancy dresses anymore.  But I love playing dress up so a pretty new thing for every wedding/shower/charity event is such a treat for me.

sldp123

@housewifehobbyist I'm so jealous now because I just realized you said you are GOING to RTR to pick something out. It would be awesome to be so close!

hgsurvivor

Definitely ok to change. Especially if for church - being earlier and probably more conservative - you could wear something different and then change into a fancy and amazing black tie gown.

gonetothesea

Rock that sparkly dress! I'm so jealous that you're going to a black tie reception. And that you are renting from RTR. I've never been to do either of these things.

housewifehobbyist

Thanks ladies!  It's for a ritzy Long Island couple and if ever there was an opportunity for overkill glamour and big hair, this is it!  But maybe not at 3:00 in the afternoon, at a church.  So I appreciate knowing its not crazy to wear two outfits that day.  On the bright side if I don't turn a BFP Saturday morning I can drown my sorrows in Champagne someone else is paying for!

Rent The Runway is only a few blocks from my office and are my go-to for basically everything (I chair a charity that does a lot of events, so its perfect).  They have dresses at all price ranges @gonetothesea - you should check them out for whatever your next party is!

MEA0320

Honestly, with the ceremony taking place at 3pm you can easily get away with more of an evening look. Also, with the invitation stating "Black Tie Optional" there is no need to wear a gown or long dress unless you want to. Cocktail attire is perfectly okay. Between the ceremony and the reception you can refresh/update your makeup to really go from afternoon to evening which would be easier to do rather than changing your whole outfit. 

Rent The Runway has some great options with their cocktail attire that can easily be used for a more formal wedding. Look at dresses that are darker in color (navy, plum, etc but not black) and that should work for the whole day of the wedding. Also, look at some of the high-low dresses as those are always good options for the late afternoon weddings and "Black Tie Optional" attire. 

Hope that helps and enjoy the wedding!

MNturnsVA

I would change if its do able and black tie optional.  I agree, church attire and black tie optional are 2 different things. and you wouldn't want to wear black tie optional attire to the church and then sit around in it for 3 hours. 

what is rent the runway??

housewifehobbyist

@MNturnsVA - Rent The Runway is a service that rents out designer dresses/jewelry/bags for 3-8 days at a fraction of their retail cost.  I love it!  It solves the issue of not wanting to wear the same thing to every event but not being able to afford new dresses every time.  Plus I'm vain and if I know I'll be photographed in something I don't want to wear it too often.

adiaz132003

*lurking from june*
I was in a wedding with a 3-4 hour gap. I was starving as we took pictures for hours. My family, who were guests, went to eat at a Friendlys cause it was just too long. Compared to what they did, I think you changing is totally fine haha

skilouise

I think changing is perfectly acceptable. That is a really long gap, even for a Catholic wedding.

FWIW, I'm Catholic, and I still think long gaps are inconsiderate to guests. I fought tooth and nail to get the church to allow us to start our ceremony (not a full mass) at 3:30. The reception was 15 minutes away, and the cocktail hour started at 5:00. We offered a hospitality suite with drinks and snacks, so people had somewhere to go during the gap if they wanted.

0SeaMonkey0

Weird I've never been to a wedding without a gap!!! Many people will change between the ceremony and the reception. I usually pick a dress that will work with both and just add more jewellery and make up for the evening but many people will wear something more conservative to the ceremony and then something more dressy for the reception.

Men can be a bit more confusing. Growing up for both DH and I, wedding ceremonies were considered formal events and the men wore suits and ties. The last two weddings we're been to we looked around the church and couldn't believe how casually most of the med were dressed. Like kakhis and polos in some cases. In both cases DH was one of the o KU ones wearing a full suit. He doesn't care though. To is its just respectful to dress nicely for someone's big day!

aloha5736

Ugh I hate long gaps! We did a catholic mass and I found the only church in the area with a 4pm start. We just paid a lot more money, but nothing worse as a guest then sitting around for 3 hours, especially if it is a driving distance. The last wedding we went to had a gap and I came back and freshened up at the hotel. Changed my outfit to something more formal evening. I think etiquette your suppose to host the gap, as I know because I looked into it

MrsFL2015

I went to two Catholic wedding this past year both with gaps.  I always wear a black cocktail dress to wedding because it's the easiest option and you can't go wrong with a LBD.  I had a sweater for during the ceremony, but honestly, I didn't need it.  I'm Catholic and we really don't have too many strict rules about dress codes.  We aren't required to cover our shoulders or anything like that.  As long as it's tasteful and an appropriate length/fit, it's generally acceptable during a wedding mass (regular weekly mass is a bit different).

I did notice some guests changed between the ceremony and reception from a daytime look to a night one.  But, honestly, I had a feeling people changed just to show off their different outfits.   I changed up my makeup, hair and accessories to make it a bit more formal.  

I would honestly just stick with one dress unless you have another outfit you're dying to wear.  I know that I didn't feel like buying two different dresses, so one was good enough for me.