Facebook rant gone viral...

KarenBeth714

I don't know if any of you saw this yet, but I thought it was pretty awesome!

https://wgntv.com/2015/09/28/womans-none-of-your-business-facebook-post-about-children-goes-viral/

jolydan

Wow!! I love this it's amazing!

lm45678

=D>

WorkingOnMyNightCheese

I saw this earlier and thought to myself "YES a million times over." 

babyexpress

arielo14

That is perfect, extended family and nosy coworkers need too read this.

GinnyJ2012

Until I started lurking TTGP while TTC baby #2 I never thought about how some of those questions could be very painful for other people.  I was never one to pry about babies before, I do remember asking my SIL if they were planning on kids one day.  I'm glad I found this place and was educated before I was able to ask anyone.  

etr152517

*loss mentioned*
Love this! After our loss this summer, this really rings true. It's no ones business and you don't know what others are going through.
Edited for TW

crdo

YES. 100%.

One of my best friends called tonight to catch up (who happens to have a 3 month old). A little while into the conversation, I brought up our lack of success in TTC. She said that of course she has wondered about how it's going since I told her we began trying months ago, but didn't want to bring it up unless I did first. She went on to say that she didn't want to put me in an awkward position if I was expecting and hadn't announced, and she didn't want to upset me if I was having a hard time. I told her I SO appreciated her consideration, and that it was wonderful she realized how impactful such a question can be. Give the lady a prize!!!

Now why is that thought process so hard for others?!

halfanewt

@crdo
Because common sense is so very uncommon!
Or, as I tell the people at work, "hey, stop that! You're using logic again.."

goldie987

I had a hairdresser that I've never met ask me when we were planning to have kids when I mentioned I had gotten married earlier this summer.  WTF, I don't even know you, why would I tell you something like that??? 

My MIL is also guilty, at our wedding reception she was talking about how she's so excited to be a grandparent and how she hopes that we don't wait as long as her and my FIL did before starting a family (4 years after they got married) because she wants a grandbaby.

I half want to share this on facebook (a friend already did) just to see if she replies or notices it at all.  Why is it that when it comes to babies, people seem to think that normal decency no longer applies?  

Pepper6

I had a cashier tell me today that I needed to give my 15 month old daughter a sibling. When I told her I had a miscarriage last week, but thanks for the suggestion she got really flustered. Hopefully the truth of what people are going through will make her think before she makes comments like that again.

ska8471

I've never been pregnant or miscarried and I STILL feel and have always felt it's such an inappropriate thing to ask anyone. You're asking me when I'm going to have A LOT of unprotected sex, really. Plus: the state of my womb in no way affects your life. Not to mention all the "you never knows"; like not knowing if someone is going through a difficult loss/recent miscarriage or if they're struggling with infertility or not emotionally ready for a child. You just never know, nor is it your business.

I've also had friends who have made the decision not to have children, who are told things like "oh just wait until you're older, you'll change your mind."

More ranting: I also hate when I have a glass of water at a function and not something alcoholic and I'm immediately and obviously pregnant because I don't drink like a fish. Sometimes I just say "not pregnant just thirsty and not an alcoholic, thanks." Sometimes I throw in an "if I was pregnant and waiting for the 12 week mark to announce, you'd really be ruining that right now" to get a reaction.

Just all around inappropriate. End rant.

hgsurvivor

I agree with all of the above. Not only is it annoying and hurtful to be asked that by everyone. But I also think it's weird when people announce they're TTC to the world. It's like, ok so now I know you're having lots of unprotected sex. And then what? Obviously if it's a super close friend or sister that makes more sense but I've had some new acquaintances just tell us and it feels like I'm walking into a very private part of their lives.
I think it's best to let private business be private.
Also DH and I get a lot of "unspoken" questioning. I feel like our families are "watching us" to see when we'll announce. Wtf.

tinypikachu

Tell that to my estranged mother. She even tried to guilt-trip me by saying I needed to start having babies before her elderly friend (who I am not close to) passes away... Don't even know how to react to that...

sarah0985

I always want to respond that asking me if/when we are ttc that they are essentially asking me about my sex life. I joke with some people that I'm going to start responding with "yes my husband and I are regularly and strategically having unprotected sex"
If you think that answer is none of your business, than so is the question of if we are ttc.

jhems776

My worst when are you going to have kids happened last year at a 7/11.  It was Mother's Day and the cashier said "Happy Mothers Day".  I responded politely "thank you but I'm not a mom" and he in turn said "why not?  you are getting older and should have kids by now".  He was dead serious.

adiaz132003

*lurker from june*

There were a couple times when my nosy clients ask about how long I've been married and say "oh so you'll start having kids soon?" I get irritated and say "yeah we're already working out it but it sure is taking a while" then I get quiet. They never know what to say after that. I know it's mean of me to do that but if they aren't prepared for any possible answer then why ask?

Eta: lurker status

KarenBeth714

yea, I've said things like "sometimes things take more time then you've planned" or "we're working on it, but no luck yet" I don't mind being open about things with most people, but it does get annoying and uncomfortable.
:-S

KarenBeth714

oh and also at family gatherings I started drinking a glass of wine even when I didn't feel like having one, just to ward off suspecting family members.