ugh...Facebook, etc.

carrieandr

My cousin's wife is 20 weeks pregnant and today she has pretty much filled my newsfeed with photos from the amazing party they had to announce that it's a girl.  It wasn't just one post of a photo album.  It's a ton of posts, and other people posting photos and tagging her.  And every time someone comments on them, they jump to the top of my newsfeed again.  I guess I need to hide them, but I feel like such a jerk doing that for some reason.

I would have been 35 weeks by now if the MMC hadn't happened.  Based on ovulation, I was due on Halloween.  (My signature says 11/5 because the dr went by LMP.)

Also, I was out with a friend last night, and he was looking at his phone and said, "Man, she's 3 months already? She just got married!" and showed me a girl's bump photo.  I blurted, "I just had another miscarriage."  It came out before I even knew I was saying it.  He knew about the first one, so it's not a big deal, but way to be smooth about it, Carrie.

Sporty1216

So sorry @CarrieandRoy That is so hard. I think it's good that you told your friend about what has been happening with you, though. Even if you blurted it, I think it's good for folks to realize that seemingly "harmless" comments can be hard for others to hear. And, I also think it's fine to hide the posts. We all gotta do what we gotta do sometimes.

jilligan14

Just last night I was looking at FB with a good friend (who was keeping me company because of my torturous AF) and saw a somewhat friend/acquaintance who never really liked kids posting a GoFundMe page to raise money for her twins, which are due next month. I turned to my friend and said, "Why do all the terrible people get to have babies?" I felt so mean for saying that but I seriously couldn't believe this woman was pregnant. She was always quite bitter and not a happy person. It just seems so unfair.

I really don't know what to suggest. I feel bad hiding posts too but also don't want to look at them. I tell myself that I'll try to limit my time on Facebook but that doesn't seem to work either. I think we just need to write to FB and ask them to create a TTC filter where pics of ultrasounds and baby showers simply don't show up on our newsfeeds. Then we will be blissfully ignorant.

carrieandr

She created a GoFundMe page for her twins?  An acquaintance of mine created a GoFundMe page for his wedding.  Not for gifts, but for funding the actual wedding.  Why do people think other people should pay for these things?

I'm in such a funk today.  I need something good to happen.

jilligan14

I think the GoFundMe page was instead of sending baby gifts but as my friend pointed out, why not ask for gift cards or just ask for money? GoFundMe takes a big fee out of what you raise. Some people just aren't right.

thistle8677

dolphin012

Sorry @CarrieandRoy. It can be so so hard. We are inundated with so much everyday. Not sure what to say except, lean on your friends that are there for you. 

that is not a bad idea @jilligan14. Zuckerberg and his wife (sorry, don't recall her name) had trouble conceiving. They might just be receptive to that idea.

Piperella

I'm so sorry, @CarrieandRoy.  I didn't know what exactly I wanted to say in reply to this earlier and still don't.  I understand a bit what you're talking about.  The back to school photos hit me. Cute little halloween pictures will get to me too, but my DH and I dress up our dogs and ourselves and we take family pictures.  It's hard avoiding THOSE posts... and I do like the pp's idea of a ttc filter. Sorry about the dinner with your friend.  I know that must have sucked but honestly, we shouldn't be the ones having to filter ourselves or be apologetic.  I'm not even apologizing for my "snippyness" lately.  Sorry, not sorry.

emsmama15

I'm sorry @CarrieandRoy!!  HUGS! >:D<

Teenie16

I'm sorry @CarrieandRoy. I think you can block whoever you want for as long as you want until you're ready to handle it. Maybe I'm the bitch but 2 of my cousins had their babies within a month and a half after my loss. And I've blocked them both. I'm happy for them but I can't deal right now. So I say do whatever you need to protect your heart. I agree with @Piperella I'm sorry your news came out as it did but it was obviously on your mind. And you shouldn't have to apologize for saying it.

ladeuce13

Big hugs to you @CarrieandRoy .

bgf1

@CarrieandRoy I am so sorry for your loss. I also had a MMC and was due November 4. I have been finding it harder in the last few weeks with lots of reminders that we'd expected to be in the final stretches of preparing for our baby. I was so surprised by the renewed feeling of grief that I spoke with a counselor who suggested writing a letter to the unborn babe.... Thought I'd pass along the suggestion in hopes it might be helpful for you

carrieandr

Yeah, it is getting harder. The thing that helped me after the MMC was the thought that I'd probably be pregnant again soon.  But after lots of waiting and then a chemical pregnancy Labor Day weekend, my optimism has faded and my EDD is looming ahead of me.  I should probably do something therapeutic, whether it's writing or painting. I wish someone could tell me when I will start a successful pregnancy.  Then I could calmly count the days until then.

Missing my fertile window this month made everything a bit worse. I need the hope of the TWW to hang onto every month.  I really, really hope DH is feeling well enough to TTC next time.