Older sibling birthday party dilemma, thoughts? — The Bump
February 2016 Moms

Older sibling birthday party dilemma, thoughts?

Our baby boy is due on our daughters 5th birthday. She was born 3 weeks early due to preeclampsia. I'm hoping things will be different this time and really hoping to avoid induction. So my dilemma is, what do we do for her birthday party, in regards to dates? Our parties aren't huge and just family and friends coming over for treats/presents. I'm tempted to plan the party four weeks early when I'm 36 weeks. But, that's a whole month before her birthday and I don't know if I like that. DH parents will fly into town when baby boy is born and it'd be nice to have them here for her party as well, but do I want to host a party when I'm possibly right at the end of pregnancy or have a few day old baby? I'm also planning on nursing (didn't nurse dd) and the thought of trying to figure out nursing still with a house full of party guests intimidates me.
On the other hand, I have a few cousins/aunts/uncles that it would be nice to have them all meet baby together instead of them all coming at separate times. It's so hard not knowing when baby will actually be here! Maybe I'm overthinking? If it were you, what would you do? Thoughts?

Re: Older sibling birthday party dilemma, thoughts?

  • I would probably wait until after the holidays and see how my pregnacy is progressing. During that time I would just continue to weigh the pros and cons of the early party verse the after delivery party.

    Maybe talk to your husband and family and see what their thoughts are.

    If you usually have a small party anyway and family are traveling from out of town for the birth. It might be more convenient for them after delivery. My main concern with that though would be the attention not being on your oldest child because everyone is focused on the new baby. You can always leave the room to breastfeed.

    The early would ensure the focus of the party is on your oldest child however you potentially run the risk of having to cancel of complications occur during your pregnancy and delivery runs into they party.

    How old is your child? I think his/her age would also play a huge role in my decision.
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  • My twins turn 3 on March 5 and this baby is due Feb 9. They will be 2-4 weeks apart in age and as far as this years birthday we plan to wait until after the baby is born and do a joint birthday and sip & see. Get all the visitors done and over with all at once and call it a day. I have no problem telling my family "no" to holding the baby though if it's not a good time. I'm also not worried about flu because I trust that nobody is coming over to visit a baby with the sniffles, etc.

    Totally up to you but for me, the thought of hosting a party pregnant and then turning around a few weeks later and having people visit my house again to see the baby just sounded stressful.
  • Maybe talk to your daughter and see what she would like to do. Maybe this year she will be ok with doing something different (like just going out somewhere fun with you and daddy for the day). I don't know that I would be planning a party anytime around my due date to be honest. The way things work out for me, that would be the day I go into labor. If she wants a party with family like normal she is old enough to understand that it has to be either early or late, and let her decide.
    You can always veto her decision if it ends up not workin out.
  • @shupertj09 she will be turning 5. I'll have to talk to my hubby more. Every time I bring it up he just says he doesn't know what to do ;)

    @Twindling good points! I already have a moby wrap so I guess I can probably keep baby in that to avoid the pass around. I didn't think about the stress of a party followed by visitors a few weeks later.

    @CuriousKiddosMama true. I don't think she'd honestly care if it's early or late, I'm the one that overanalyzes everything. We had to reschedule her party last year because she got sick the day of her party and she was totally fine with it. Maybe as long as I have it all ready ahead of time (gifts, decor, plates, cups etc) we can just play by ear and plan on doing it for her actual birthday unless I'm in the hospital.
  • My main concern would be her feeling like the attention is not on her birthday as PP said. Maybe it's just me but I am huge about birthdays being about that one person and nothing else as I view it as a time to celebrate what a gift they are to everyone. As such I wouldn't run the risk of taking the attention away from her by making it a combined thing with meeting baby.

    That's just me though and it really depends on your daughter's personality in that sense.
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  • @Zepplin1218 I think that is awesome and we both (DH and I) grew up with birthdays being special but nothing huge. Dd actually doesn't love being the center of attention. One on one or in a small group she enjoys it but when the group gets bigger like at a party she just does her own thing. Obviously I don't know how she'll be with a baby sibling yet but with her baby cousin I watch everyday she is all over him. I could actually see her not paying attention to the guests at her party and focusing on her brother instead. Who knows!
  • Twindling said:
    My twins turn 3 on March 5 and this baby is due Feb 9.

    PS. All the cool kids are born March 5th! That's my birthday too!

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  • That's tough! I'd probably skip the party this year and just do something special with her, a day out to somewhere fun. Make it a big deal- she gets to pick the activity (movie, indoor playground type thing, swimming pool, arcade? I don't know what you have available to you) and where to go out to dinner. It'll be easier (and less expensive!) than a party. 

    If I really needed to do a party, honestly, I'd probably do it after the baby came because I wouldn't want to plan and host a bunch of people right before AND after baby comes. Get it all done at once!
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  • Latina211508Latina211508
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    edited September 2015
    My husband and I have been thinking about this as well. My husbands birthday is the 18th, so big deal but our eldest is turning 7th on the 21st. My EDD is the 8th, I have been over due with all my babies but regardless the baby will be here either a week and a half or less before my sons birthday. After being invited to a lot of birthday parties from his friends at school my son asked if he could have a party. Last year we took him to Disney land. My mother in law also wants to fly in from TX (we live in Cali) to be there for his birthday and to see the new baby. A lot does depend when the baby arrives and how I'm feeling. But as of now my husband and I agreed on a party but baby will stay upstairs (sleeping). If I need to breastfeed etc I will just go upstairs and will not be brining baby down. I don't mind the guests as long as the party is shorter than our usual get togethers. Funny thing is my second child's birthday is 3 weeks after my sons. Lol she's turning 5, so we will be super busy.
  • We are facing a similar issue also. Our DD turns 2, 2 weeks before I'm due. I think we might skip a big party this year and do a family day (park, beach, or zoo) and invite a few others over for cake after.

    Your child is obviously much older and probably more aware of their birthday but maybe this could work for you guys too. Good luck!
  • I like the idea of doing a small party after the baby is born.  You could plan some of the stuff ahead of time like putting others in charge of decorations and planning where you could get the food delivered from since you may not be able to make it yourself.  And, like you said, it'd be a good chance for people to meet the baby.  If it gets overwhelming with people wanting to pass the baby around, I like the idea of wearing the baby or even just escaping to another room to breastfeed if you need a few minutes of silence.
  • So many good ideas to think about! Thanks for all the thoughts and @Fullerj21 @Latina211508 good luck to you figuring it out as well!

    Another thought I had today is that we won't even be having it at our place since it's rather small. We usually do it in the gym at our church building, so I don't have the comforts of my own home. Dd has also requested an Easter egg hunt for the kids at the party. She has quite the imagination. She also, as of now wants root beer floats and graham crackers with frosting instead of cake and ice cream.

    I just don't know what my energy will be like with a newborn this go around and I only get 4 weeks maternity so I am thinking I might need to just do the party at 35/36 weeks and then on her actual birthday we could take her to ice cream or DH could take her on a date. She doesn't care if it's early, so why am I stressing it? I just know her whole world is going to shift and I want her to feel special.
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