Pregnant after a Loss

When did you decide to announce your pregnancy?

Just wondering at what point everyone announced or is going to announce their pregnancy. I'm 10 weeks and getting anxious. I know i will wait at least until my appt. next week but I'm also still scared something may happen. We told our parents and siblings but are waiting to tell extended fam and friends.

Re: When did you decide to announce your pregnancy?

  • I am 13wks now, and plan on making some kind of announcement around halloween I will be 18wks and hopefully will feel kicking by then.  Our MMC has definitely taken the joy out of it.
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
  • I originally thought i would wait till the end of oct too. Are you showing yet? I am afraid i wont be able to hide it that long and i've been laying low because i've been sick and exhausted. Not sure how long i can keep it up.
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  • I am waiting until after the baby is born to tell extended family and friends. We told our parents and siblings. We just had our daughter 4/4/2015 and I am now 17 almost 18weeks along. We are having a little boy. Will most likely do a tiny baby shower with the family and friends that do know. My daughter was 37weeks when we lost her. So both my husband and I think it would be best for us both if we wait until the baby is here.
  • We are planning on the announcement to people we don't see regularly after the first trimester. We did tell immediate family, a few close friends and our bosses (since we were missing so much work for appointments)... And having those few people to talk to has been so helpful so far.
  • I waited until 20 weeks to tell everyone. Lost our baby a week after. Now I'm afraid to tell anyone in our family. But does it seem unfair to our rainbow baby that im not giving him or her that same chance like the first one? DH said it's probably good to tell our immediate family so we get some support and prayers from them.
  • I didn't tell anyone but our parents and siblings with our first baby until 13 weeks. But I learned the hard way that it is awful to have to tell people "I'm pregnant but my baby is very sick and likely will die before he is born". So I'm only 6 weeks and have already told more people than I told last time. I just feel like I need the support in case anything else goes wrong. And just in case this way I get happy congratulations and hugs without all the sadness until later.
    ***Siggy Warning Child and Loss***

    Officially diagnosed with unexplained infertility after 4 years of TTC
    IUI#2 gave us DS#1 who became an angel a few minutes after birth from Noonan syndrome
    IUI#4 gave us DS#2 - going strong as a toddler!

    TTC again... Found a clinical trial for unexplained infertility and finished 16 weeks of "lifestyle intervention"
    Cycle #1 - cancelled for ovarian cyst x3...
  • Last time we lost our bean at 8weeks. This time we plan to tell immediate family around 16weeks, but ask them to keep it amongst us until the belly is clearly noticeable. Since the mmc, i'm trying to be on the safe side just in case.
  • We are 7 weeks and just our parents and siblings known. Well my work knows for safety reasons but that's all. I knew if we lost this baby I would need all of their support just as much as last time if not more.
  • We lost our son at just over 20weeks, we didn't tell everyone till 24weeks, although a few knew earlier. It's so tough knowing when to tell people & I got into a phase of not wanting to say anything to anyone. In the end my boss told everyone at work (via an email) so I had no choice but to tell people. In the end it worked out ok and it wasn't so bad when I did tell people.
  • I told my parents around 8 weeks because I needed a last minute sitter for DD when I had a bleeding scare and had to go to the doctor unexpectedly. We told my inlaws around 10 weeks and everyone else has just found out as I have started to show. I am 19 weeks now, and one of my friends I don't see much anymore just found out yesterday at a mutual friend's party. I agree a loss takes all the excitement out of announcing.
  • We told my parents at 8 weeks after 3 good u/s
    We told my in laws, and my work at 13 weeks. I let my mom start telling people and announce it on FB at 18 weeks. I never rally announced it, I just let people find out.
  • We are 11w5d and have told close friends and family. My work also knows (they called it early on from the lack of coffee, fatigue, etc.). DR gave us the clear so we went with it... Last time we found out at 7w0d and I hated having to tell everyone it didn't work. As soon as the DR said we were good at 10 weeks with a heartbeat, I felt comfortable telling my boss and friends/family as I see them. Nothing on Facebook or social sites yet.

  • My first pregnancy I told all my family and in laws we were very excited and figured pregnant+9months=baby. .... didn't turn out that way. For a while we thought well it IS a good thing we told people now we'll have support.... didn't turn out that way either. My in laws were so kind to me but live further away and my family didn't really seem to want to be near me... so this time were not telling anybody. I'm 8 weeks today and so scared of losing my little one. Just want to keep him for myself until I HAVE to tell people. I can't take those looks again
  • kimey1kimey1 member
    edited November 2015
    @lizChesnut I thought so the 1st time around too. i hope I can keep it under wraps until 16weeks ish. If not, I'll be happy to share after genetic testing results come back around 12/13weeks. Wish you a healthy pregnancy!
  • I've thought about this, planning on when I can finally shout it from the roof tops. For me, I would say it was a moving target. I am very newly pregnant and I said I would wait a very long time (maybe halfway through) until I said anything. However, I tend to tell if I feel like it. I never could keep a secret.


    *****Losses Mentioned*****BFP MENTIONED*****ALL WELCOME******ALL ABOARD!!

    Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
    Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
    Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.

    DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!

    Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!




    BabyGaga
  • I'm not planning on telling everyone until after we get genetic testing results back--the testing is around 13 weeks, I'm not sure how long it takes to get the results. I'd rather wait longer, though. I've been pretty open with people about the previous miscarriages when it's come up, but I just hate dealing with sympathy. Honestly, the sympathy from my well-meaning in-laws if we lost this one would just kill me, so I want to wait as long as possible. However, I know my husband would be uncomfortable with telling people and not telling his parents, so we'll likely just not tell anyone for as long as possible. I'll be around 20 weeks on xmas, that's likely when we'll tell.

    Currently the ONLY people that know (aside from my husband and doctors) are my mom, one best friend of mine, and my dentist's office who I had to tell so they didn't give me xrays earlier this week! 
  • waited until 16 weeks (wanted to do in person) to tell our families and told work after 20 weeks (it was incredibly obvious since not our first pg). but i didn't want to talk about it so we didn't.
  • I'm afraid to announce I'm 15 weeks I wish I didn't have to but I don't think I can hide it at work. Ideally is like to wait to the 3rd trimester. Very nervous about it
  • I keep thinking by a certain week I'll be more comfortable telling more people but not so sure. I'm 12w3d now and think we will start slowly telling family here and there as we talk to them and see them. I don't want to make any kind of social media announcement until at least 16w, if at all. I want to hold off telling work as long as I can but also want to give them time to prep for when I'm out, assuming we make it to that point (I can't even talk about the future without adding a caveat like that.. it's so annoying).

    A girl I went to HS with just announced her pregnancy on Facebook at exactly 12 weeks. I'm happy for her, but I feel so insanely jealous that she gets that blissful excitement and confidence to put it out there like that and I'm having anxiety about telling my very best friends in a week... Loss is a b*tch.

  • We decided after our NT scan results that we would happily announce to friends and family. (Which we have.) as for social media... My only reason to announce is to see if anyone's done with a couple items we could borrow or buy that we only need short term. I'm self employed but have been telling all my clients since my bump has become pretty obvious. Most have said they already suspected!
  • I didn't say a word till after our anatomy scan at 23 weeks.

    BFP #1 April 14th, 2014 MMC at 17weeks with a baby boy D&E

    BFP # 2 March 23rd, Rainbow Baby Boy Jayce Michael born 12/9/15

    BFP#3 January 26th EDD October 9th! Hoping for my girl!

     <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1dbf8a" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0" /></a>

  • We told our parents and close friends but did not tell out extended family this time around. Probably won't tell them until after our 1st trimester. Not even sure I will do a big Facebook announcement. I am jealous that other do that so freely (and so early) and I just cant bring myself to even think about it yet.
  • Having a similar issue. After 4 early BFPs I'm now 4w1d (I know still very early). Last time around we'd told pretty much everyone after about 8 weeks (or they'd figured it out because I wasn't drinking). We lost him at 10wks and it was so hard at the time, but I felt so supported through it all. People all around me knew what I was going through, which also meant I could talk about it, and not try and sweep it under a rug pretending it never happened. This time round I'm happy to keep the news to just immediate family, but my DP doesn't even want to tell them? I couldn't go through it on my own if it were to happen again, but want him to feel like he has a say too? So confused.
  • I just found out a few days ago that I'm pregnant. Some very close friends know but we are not telling family until 12 weeks.
  • We are around 12 weeks, lost our first at 5 weeks and the second at 8 weeks. I just cannot stomach the thought of losing this one and having to deal with my inlaws. They don't seem to understand that miscarrying isn't something you can control and indirectly blamed me for the last two MC. We eventually had to tell them this time around as I've been really sick and haven't seen them much. If I could get away with not telling anyone till the baby came I would totally do it! So far it's just the parentals and my boss coz I have to take it easy at work. I can barely think of buying anything incase it doesn't work out. The excitement isn't there anymore it's just fear now.
  • kimey1kimey1 member
    edited November 2015
    We told my in laws with a "welcome baby" and "baby girl" balloon on Saturday when I reached 14weeks. They were super happy. This coming weekend we are telling my folks in person (15 weeks). We are not posting on social media till she is born and asked our family to do the same.
    I've been avoiding socializing to avoid suspicion (not drinking, not eating what I usuallly do) until now. I'm telling everyone in person unless they live abroad. Relatives and friends will find out when I'm 4-5 months in. Each doc appointment I still find myself nervous when I'm in the waiting room.
  • We announced today at 19wks on facebook.  It took everything I had in me, I was so afraid that if we made a big announcement we would jinx the pregnancy, but baby has been kicking away all morning so it didn't phase him or her.
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
  • I know the popular answer is to wait but last time I was pregnant I did not wait.I told every one at 6 weeks I honestly did not know ppl "waited" but everything went fine whole pregnancy well up until he was born and passed two days later. So I say this tell ppl when u feel comfortable if u want to tell ppl when u find out u r do it or if u want to wait till u get passed that point when u lost your last I understand but im not going to wait till I'm 40 week to tell ppl the fact of the matter is I'm proud of my baby no matter how long we r together and I want ppl to be here for us weather it's for good or bad news. this baby is part of our family so I know this is not the best advice for everyone but postitive thinking can do amazing things ppl don't talk about loss and they should we should not have to suffer in silence .
  • We made our "social media" announcement at 16 weeks.
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