Hard time going from 1 child to 2

cplanker

I am incredibly blessed. I have a 3 and a half year-old and a newborn that was just born this past Friday. I have been so emotional going from one to two. I miss having as much time as I did for my 3 year-old and just overwhelmed. I love having 2 now but miss my time I had and routine I had with my older.
Any other moms emotional about this also and cry due to this huge change. I'm scared I'm not giving enough time to my older child.

MyCousinVinny

I've been where you were just a few months ago.  My oldest and I are very close and when DD2 was born, it was almost like I was mourning the change in our relationship.  I missed our solo snuggles, being able to pay attention to her, and being a family of three.  It was very hard for me and I cried a lot in the first few weeks.

It is totally normal and it will pass.  You will find a routine that works and once you get into the swing of life with two, you'll be able to dedicate more one-on-one time with your oldest.

Hugs.  It's such an emotional rollercoaster.

Bigboobsmcgee

MyCousinVinny said:

I've been where you were just a few months ago.  My oldest and I are very close and when DD2 was born, it was almost like I was mourning the change in our relationship.  I missed our solo snuggles, being able to pay attention to her, and being a family of three.  It was very hard for me and I cried a lot in the first few weeks.

It is totally normal and it will pass.  You will find a routine that works and once you get into the swing of life with two, you'll be able to dedicate more one-on-one time with your oldest.

Hugs.  It's such an emotional rollercoaster.

This is perfect. And exactly what I went through.

OP I have literally heard those same feelings from probably 20 other moms who went from 1 child to 2. It really helped after I had my second child because I thought something was wrong with ME because I was so sad for my older child. It is such a hard adjustment in every way imaginable but just like PP said, it will pass and it will become AWESOME!

I have an 11 month old and a 3.5 year old and it's so fabulous now. The beginning is tough so hang in there.  

Bigboobsmcgee

And your hormones are probably out of control right now hence the crying you are doing

Bat_Ish_Crazy

I have a 4yo DD and newborn DD. DD1 woke up in the middle of the night due to a nightmare & I went in to cuddle her back to sleep like normal. She felt so much bigger in my arms than she ever has. I cried and cried after that. It hit me how much she has grown since we brought her home 4 years ago.

All this to say, it's normal. This is a big life change for everyone in the household. Be kind to yourself. Have a good cry in the shower if you need to. Talk to someone if you need help processing your feelings. But above all, be kind to yourself.

Melis222

@MyCousinVinny said it perfectly, my LO is 12 weeks now and I have a 6 yr old son. I went through the same thing. You will get adjusted to it all and find a new rhythm.

elisv726

I'm still having issues with this right now. DD1 can't contain her love for her sister and unfortunately, DD2 is quite the colicky baby. I don't know how to talk to DD1 without being a complete jerk because she just won't listen otherwise. Then I turn around and feel terrible for yelling, punishing her for waking her sister up, or pulling on her when I'm carrying her. I know she's just in need of attention and doesn't know how to handle not being the only one anymore. What's worse is that my husband is out of the country and I don't know when I'll see him again, so dividing and conquering is not even an option. I'll see DD1 playing by herself and I end up feeling terrible for not being there for her like used to be.

I hope I can figure it out soon. Some advice would be great too.

cplanker

My husband travels a lot so it's been just me and the kids for the most part. I've been trying my best to really involve my older child in caring for the baby. Also, explaining everything to him. Still so hard though Wish I had more energy and could show both all the attention they need and more.
MIL told me yesterday that it really does get easier and it ends up being very good for the older child. They learn to share more and they become more caring.
I've been drinking lots of coffee and have been venting to my sister and friends constantly to stay sane. That's my trick so far.

Knottie1442268460

I have 1 yo & 1 week old. I'm a little emotional for big baby who is so jealous. But mostly I'm overwhelmed. I'm tired but can't sleep.

cplanker

Ah I know. I finally got my 2 week old down to sleep at 5am after a late feed. I put my head down. 10 min later my 3 yo came in haha.

Then during the day when I get them both down to nap. As soon as I close my eyes the baby wakes. It always works that way doesn't it?!?! Ahhhh haha

Knottie1442268460

Mine want to eat at the same time every 2 hours.