1 bigger shower or 2 smaller showers? — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

1 bigger shower or 2 smaller showers?

Hi ladies,
Would love your input. My best friend has offered to throw a baby shower in early Nov. The only potential problem is that some of the guests live about an hour away. My sister in law has offered to throw a 2nd shower (she lives closer to about half the guests) in early Dec. If this happened, we would break up the guest list based on where people live. The main prob is my sis in law wants to hold the 2nd shower on the same Saturday as our 6hr labor and birth class, so that her Sunday stays free for football...:/ She basically is set on this. without sounding like a jerk,in order to make this work i would have to reschedule our labor classes, which creates a chain reaction of then rescheduling a parent support info session, and another appt. sigh. So here's my question- is it better to have the 1 shower, keep my schedule set, potentially offend my sis in law, and if ppl don't want to make the drive, that's cool, OR have the 2nd shower, move my schedule around, but have it be less of a drive for people?

Re: 1 bigger shower or 2 smaller showers?

  • How stressful would it be for you to reschedule all of those? If it would be too much, just gently let your SIL know why you're turning down the 2nd shower but that you're extremely grateful for the offer.
    If you could reschedule, I did this exact thing with my bridal showers. I had one for friends and one for family and family friends because we moved away from family several years ago. It really just depends what you're personally up for.
  • Depends on how much work you want, will it be difficult to reschedule everything? You can always tell your sil that the date won't work due to scheduling difficulties. Maybe she'll make an exception to miss one day of football. And maybe she wont want to and that will mean you're just having one shower.
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  • We would be switching from 2 Saturday labor classes in the morning/afternoon to a 6 week series on Mondays (a work night.) DH would have to get home from work a bit early, and I'd have to cancel or reschedule my last client for 6 Mondays. I'd also have to move a parent support group info session, and not even sure if it could be rescheduled as they are only offered every few months. I think I'm just struggling with feeling pushed around. I get that it's a totally nice gesture to offer to throw a shower, and don't want to sound ungrateful, but I don't get why an afternoon of watching football is taking priority over everything I mentioned above. My sis in law knows this whole scheduling fiasco, but isn't offering to give up football, so I feel like the ball is in my court. I just want a nap. :(
  • I'd go with one shower. An hour isn't too far to drive if people really want to go, and you can just graciously thank SIL for the offer and let her know you already have a labor and birth class that day.
  • Is that the only Saturday that your SIL is willing to throw the shower? If she just doesn't want to have it on a Sunday it seems there should be plenty of other Saturdays to choose from that don't happen to be when you have a class. It is wonderful that she is offering to host a shower for you, but it is kind of inconsiderate of her to expect you to rearrange your schedule to work for her. I would say if she won't budge on the date then just do the one big shower. I've driven over an hour for friends' showers and I had a couple do the same when they came to mine.
  • I would just tell her you contacted the parties needed to move things around aka where you are having your birth class, your boss, hubby's boss, your client, any of them really and say that you are unable to make the schedule changes required for that Saturday so that you really appreciate the gesture buy unless she can choose a different day that you will stick with the one shower. Put the ball back in her court! Or just plain flat say no in a similar fashion
  • I'm having two showers because half of the guests live six hours away from the other half. I don't think an hour is very far for people to have to drive. That's a typical work commute for a lot of people.
  • I agree with what PPs have said. And remember, even if people can't make it to your shower because of the drive, there still might be people who send a gift anyway or make arrangements with you to visit once the little one arrives to meet them and see you. People will still find ways to show their support and celebrate this little baby.
  • Just another thought besides for all of PP suggestions - you could do a "brunch shower" on a Sunday that starts at 11am and could be over by 1pm or so and your sister would barely miss any football watching (depending on what time zone you are in, but I assumed Eastern time zone based on your "afternoon of football" statement). I know this doesn't work for everyone as some people have late church services or other obligations but it seems like it could be a possible compromise :)
  • I'm having two showers. Most of my family and high school friends live in my hometown 2 hours away. All of my college friends, co-workers, and boyfriend's family are here in Baton Rouge. I wouldn't expect anyone to drive 2 hours for me.
    BabyFetus Ticker
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