Beer & Diaper Party — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

Beer & Diaper Party

has anyone ever heard of a beer and diaper party! I wondering what everybody thinks... It is more for the husbands... You have it on the same day as your baby shower... They invite who they want (girls go to the shower, guys go to the beer & diaper party) all of the guys bring a 6 pack and a box or package of diapers and they just drink and have a good time! I thought it would be kind of fun, especially since it would make the husbands feel more involved.. I was going to do a diaper raffle at my shower, but instead we might just do this! What is everybody's thoughts? Does it sound lame? Or am I just overthinking this?

Re: Beer & Diaper Party

  • Personally (this is just my opinion), I can't stand diaper parties, especially if you are already having a baby shower. Why have 2 different parties? Can't the ladies just get together for the typical gifts and lunch, and then the men just get together without having to bring something? It just seems a little much. 2 different parties for basically the same reason..I would never consider it.

    My brother had his second child and they did a diaper party. A lot of people complained it was a "cash grab", and I kind of see their point.

    UNLESS, you just do one combined party? I don't know having 2 different parties like that just seems wrong.
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  • Okay.. Thank you for your opinion.. That's how I felt at first.. And I didn't want it to seem like a cash grab... I just wanted to see how others felt about it.. My husband did say if we don't do that he wants to at least come to the shower even if it is all women there! This is our first so I just wanted him to feel involved! And his truck has to be there to get all of the baby stuff home anyways!
  • I like the idea, I'm thinking of putting something like that together for DH. He mentioned at the last family gathering that it would be nice for the guys to be able to hang out without hearing "hey we need you to start the grill/take out the trash/how long have the steaks been going/I SAID how long have the steaks been going" or without having to watch language with a bunch of kiddos running around, especially if they're having their scotch/cigar hour. Guys need their guy time just as much as we need our girl time and let's be honest, no guy is super psyched to attend a baby shower. So I like the idea that while all the women and kids are hanging out/preoccupied with the shower, the guys have an informal sort of get together to bring beer or diapers or whatever. I don't see it as gift grabby in the slightest, because it's not like it's required for the guys to bring anything, just BYOB and if you think of it, a box of diapers. Maybe it's because the party I'm thinking for DH would have like 10 guys total, most of them are dads so a pack of diapers isn't a huge deal, and it's not a forced interaction.
  • A different option... Give him a "man" party. If it's a Sunday, have a football party. If they don't like football, send them somewhere to shoot guns/go-kart/golf/etc.
    Women get all the hoopla (which we most definitely should lol) but I've decided to throw a big bonfire for mine- he deserves a little celebration too!
  • I'm loving the different opinions and ideas!
  • My boyfriend wants to have one. We haven't been together for that long so I have some guy friends from high school he hasn't really met, he thought it would be a good idea to get his friends and mine together. Another idea we talked about is a poker party. All the guys bring a pack of diapers as their buy in for the game depending on how any people that might be a fun idea too.
  • kaym6kaym6 member
    edited September 2015
    In my family whenever there is a shower of some sort the men usually go and hang out outside/drink beer/play yard games while the women are inside doing the shower type activities. They will stop in and snag some food and then head back outside or in the garage. I must add though that all my friends and family are super laid back and don't place a ton of emphasis on all the "baby shower rules" lots of people seem to have very strong feelings about. I would say you know your group of friends/family and what's considered appropriate :) my MIL is doing a diaper raffle at my shower though so maybe you could do something like that, it's definitely worded as an optional activity on the invite.

    Edited at add: by the time I got through my way too long response I realized you already said you were considering a diaper raffle! Lol
  • A good friend of mine did a beer & diaper party. Like you mentioned, it was at the same time as the ladies' shower. The guys actually went to a bar instead of doing a BYOB and I believe the dad-to-be paid for the drinks. It was on a Saturday so they all watched college football while they hung out at the bar. I thought it was a nice way to include the guys without forcing them to be at the traditional shower. I know my husband was way more excited about going to a guys thing instead of the shower, and I think even though couples showers are becoming a lot more popular now, a lot of guys are still kind of uncomfortable with them. We definitely didn't feel like it was a cash grab at all.
  • My husband just got pizza and beer and had the guys over while I was at my shower, no one brought diapers. If you are doing it, which I'm not against, I would think the dad to be should provide the beer. It seems tacky that they should bring diapers and beer. My cousin did this and they had TONs of diapers.
  • We r doing something similar. While the women are inside at the shower the boys will b in the garage drinking beer and doing there own thing. I like the idea.
  • willashbabywillashbaby member
    edited September 2015
    My DH will be inviting all of the guys to our house while I have my shower but gifts are not required and will not even be mentioned. Just a time for the guys to hang out.
  • We are having a bbq, beer and diaper party. My husband wanted one, family offered to throw it. Basically no decor- beer, barbecue, and football. Laid back and fun. His will be both men/women as lots of women he works with and female friends want to gift/celebrate and have expressed that desire, and would be more comfortable since they don't know me well.
    If anyone thinks it is "gift-grabby" or has a negative opinion- then they shouldn't come or feel obligated to send a gift.
    We found lots of fun invite ideas online- see ex!

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  • My husband did this with his friends except he supplied the beer and all of his friends bought us diapers and wipes. My DD is 9 months old and we are still using the diapers that we got at that party which is kind of nice. The only down side is that some of them brought diapers that didnt work as well for DD but diapers are free diapers. Plus my hubby got to have a really fun party with his friends. I also supplied the food which was super easy...frozen pizzas and frozen appetizers. 

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  • I think its a cute idea especially since I'm a bit of a traditionalist and was dead set against having a co-ed shower. My husband is having one on the same day I'm having my shower. One suggestion is have the guys bring gift cards instead of the diapers. You never know if your little one is going to be sensitive to a particular brand. So just in case there are some allergy issues you don't have to haul all of the diapers back to the store. You'll just be able to purchase what you need with the gift cards. And I'm pretty sure most guys will find it easier to get gift cards over diapers. 
  • My husband's friends are throwing him a diaper party- I think they are nice. It's his friends, coming together, drinking beer, and watching football. It's not a formal thing, no expectations for bringing a gift. It's just in the name- and if his friends feel compelled to bring diapers, so be it- it's a sweet gesture. I dont think it sets any negative tones.
  • I've heard of the dadchelor party. It's supposed to be like it sounds a party celebrating the end of pre-fatherhood or the beginning of fatherhood. I think it's a sweet way to make him feel included and important too.
  • I don't have a problem with a beer and diaper party, but I think it should follow the same etiquette as a shower - ok if someone else is throwing it, not ok to throw for yourself.  Just because it is for guys doesn't make it ok to be gift-grabby and throw etiquette out the window.
    This makes sense. If someone insists on throwing you a shower, it's hard to refuse so I totally understand that.
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  • I agree.. It isn't something we would throw for ourselves.. It is something that was brought up while starting to plan the baby shower! Maybe should have added that as a side note to my original post.. So it would be our parents putting it together.. We just didn't know how we felt about the idea.. So figured I would come on here and see what everyone had to say!
  • I think they are gift grabby. My first baby was due in January, the only time I had a shower. DH got together with my brothesr, dad and his dad and brother. They watched football and ate, no gifts. He the came to the shower about 20 minutes before it was supposed to end to say thank you and help put the gifts in the car.
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  • By that logic any woman having more than 1 shower thrown for her is rude/gift grabby. I just don't understand how it's ok for women to have a party thrown for them but not for men?
  • I have a friend who did this and it really rubbed me the wrong way. First off, most of the guys going to the "diaper party" are spouses of the women who already bought gifts for the baby shower. I think it comes off as extremely gift grabby. Basically you're saying bring me a gift and a case if diapers too. It's rude.

    I see your point here. The only reason we talked about doing one is because none of the guests would be overlapped at all. None of the friends he would invite are married and only one has a girlfriend who I barely know so she wouldn't be invited to my shower. I can see how it can be gift grabby if the guests overlapped.
  • ellaxo1 said:
    I have a friend who did this and it really rubbed me the wrong way. First off, most of the guys going to the "diaper party" are spouses of the women who already bought gifts for the baby shower. I think it comes off as extremely gift grabby. Basically you're saying bring me a gift and a case if diapers too. It's rude.
    I see your point here. The only reason we talked about doing one is because none of the guests would be overlapped at all. None of the friends he would invite are married and only one has a girlfriend who I barely know so she wouldn't be invited to my shower. I can see how it can be gift grabby if the guests overlapped.
    If this is the case then the issue is the same as throwing your own shower. You know your social circle and if people in this would find it acceptable then it's up to you. 
  • We're doing a combined. Guys at one end of the hall. Ladies at the other end. Why shouldn't he get to celebrate being welcomed into fatherhood??
  • Vamason89 said:

    We're doing a combined. Guys at one end of the hall. Ladies at the other end. Why shouldn't he get to celebrate being welcomed into fatherhood??

    I'm confused. You're doing a combined shower but keeping the sexes separated? Isn't a combined shower like, combined?

    If he's supposed to be included in the celebration, why wouldn't he be with you and the other guests?
  • My husband and I live 9 hours away from all of our family. We are going in for the baby shower and will only be there for 2 days. So we are making it like a family get together. We are still doing the typical baby shower, gifts, games, finger foods. We will just have guys and girls there so we can all catch up at once.
  • I do see how throwing your own party would be seen as gift grabby, but it think it matters more how you word it and who you invite.

    A group text saying "hey all the guys are getting together for their own thing while the girls are at the shower. We've got the food, feel free to bring some beer, cigars, diapers, whatever" is pretty low key in my mind and hard to take offense to . A formal invite to the guys listing your registry info or asking for gift cards- now that I would find inappropriate.

    I could be ignorant to this whole thing but isn't a box of diapers like $25 assuming it's not economy size? And a pack of diapers like 10.99? I'm not saying that's cheap but it's like a case of (good) beer and a nice cigar.
    I guess what I'm saying is if DH were invited to a guys cookout while I was attending the wifes shower, I wouldn't be like "well we better return those pacifiers because you're bringing him beer and that's too much to give them"
    I didn't bat an eye when DHs friends gave him gifts at his bachelor party, even though their wives had attended my bridal shower. That's why I have a hard time seeing how overlapping guest lists is a huge deal.

    Personally I'm planning one for DH because the guys never have a chance to get together without wives and kids around, and I know he'd like the quality time with his brothers. If only one guy brings diapers, who cares. If I don't get that crib skirt because someone had to choose between that and bringing diapers to a cookout, who cares! At least my DH got a fun afternoon out of it.

    **long post I know but wanted to add- the cigars thing has nothing to do with the traditional "give dad a congratulatory cigar" thing, DH smokes them at least once a week and every time all the guys in the family get together, it's what they do.

    TLDR: my hormones have me ragey and argumentative to the point where I'm defending a beer and diaper party like it's a damn thesis. Just do what works for your friends/fam. Carry on :)
  • I understand why some people dislike the idea of a diaper party. It can seem gift/cash grabby and unnecessary.

    However, you know your friends and family better than any of us. If it's something they are into and want to do, then by all means celebrate and throw the party. I know a lot of people who do it and have a great time. My husband is not a super social person, but his buddies did buy us a couple cases of diapers and take him out for the night to celebrate becoming a dad. It's whatever works for you and your situation. Have fun! ;;)

  • My boyfriend and I are doing a shower with the diaper party after. Both will be co-ed so if structured family events are more your thing (so's the case with some of my uncles) then they only have to attend the shower. If an unstructered night with beer and college football are your thing (many women in both our families), they only have to come to the "diaper party."

    We're doing one invite which will have the registry, but if gifts aren't brought, no one will care. We'll still have food, beer, games and really nice gifts regardless. It should be a celebration of becoming parents, not a gift expectation. As long as you treat it that way, who cares what people think? They don't have to come just because they're invited.
  • My boyfriend is having a diaper party- next weekend actually! Many of his coworkers, friends and three brothers wanted to do something for him anyways, so we thought it was perfect. We are supplying all the drinks, food, favors & games.. And they were asked to bring a pack of diapers in return. Which they would have done something for him (well us*) anyways. So it'll be his own little party to celebrate becoming a dad.

    Everyone has different opinions of it, and different situations. This one just happened to work out perfectly for him. Best of luck! :)
  • Of course it's important to be considerate of others, but assuming your guests are grown adults, if they are truly that offended in being invited to a party then they have every right to politely turn down the invite. The whole point of these parties is to celebrate fatherhood just like showers celebrate motherhood. Since 99% of guys (and probably most girls) don't care about shower games/baby themed parties, the way to give the party a baby theme is suggest bringing diapers if they so choose.

    When we go to a party that says BYOB, or a potluck, we know the couple isn't being greedy and trying to stock their fridge with leftovers, and we certainly don't think "well if they can afford to host a party then they can buy their own beer, ya know, since its THEIR party" As invitees, we're within our rights to either a) bring stuff b) don't bring stuff c) don't attend.

    Let's be honest here, NO one is under the delusion that they won't have to buy anymore diapers after a beer and diaper party. Anyone attending knows the couple will be spending hundreds more on diapers throughout the year, so it's not like the couple is avoiding some big expense with these parties.
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