Pregnant after a Loss

XP from the Losses Board: Pregnant after loss, with known reason for miscarriages

I'm new to the bump, but really need some people to talk to! 

I got pregnant on my honeymoon, had an early ultrasound at about 7-7.5 weeks, and found it was not viable. I had a D&C the day after Christmas 2014. I had a 5-week miscarriage (chemical pregnancy, and was spotting the whole time) in early August. I swear the month before (early July) I had the same thing, but never did a pregnancy test that month. Anyway, my doc is great and offered to do some blood tests on both my husband and I to see if there were any reasons for it happening. At first my doc suggested I wait a bit to get my tests done, but my husband could get his. Turns out he has an abnormality in his chromosomes (Chromosome 22 ps+ mutation...anyone have any experience with that?) that means the chromosomes don't divide equally and can cause miscarriages. The doc suggested I get my tests done ASAP, and meet with a genetic counselor to discuss our options. 

I went to have my blood taken for my tests on September 2nd, (got the results back since then, I'm fine!). Then last September 3rd I realized I'd had "PMS" for about a week and no period and took a pregnancy test--positive! I'm almost 6 weeks pregnant right now. The doc wants me to wait until about 8 weeks to get an ultrasound so we'll know something for sure, and suggested putting off the genetic counselor until after than when we know more info.

I feel like I'm living in limbo. I can't get excited about the pregnancy, because I know we have a condition that can cause first trimester miscarriages. But I can't grieve because there's a chance everything could be great. This is so hard I can't express it. 

Re: XP from the Losses Board: Pregnant after loss, with known reason for miscarriages

  • First of all, welcome. This is a very supportive place for you, as we have all experienced different types of loss. I'm sorry for yours, and wish I could offer some comforting words. (But having been through it, know that's impossible.) I think most of us struggle with celebrating our pregnancies because we are all waiting for them to be taken away again. It is good that you know what's causing your losses, and there is a chance that you won't lose this one. The best advice I can give is to spend the next two weeks trying to focus on the fact that you are pregnant now, and try not to focus on the possibility of loss. It's hard. Very hard. But we are all in the same boat and we will be here for you.
    BabyFruit Ticker

  • Welcome, and sorry to hear about your losses. My husband also has a chromosome issue (translocation). I had 3 losses last year and am now 31 weeks along. It is so hard not to give into the stress and anxiety after a loss. I started acupuncture with this pregnancy and that helped my mind set. All you can do is take it one day at a time and be thankful for each day that you are pregnant. Best wishes, and keep us posted.
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  • sswartout, did you do anything special, or did this one happen to just work out fine? I know there's a chance that this one will be fine, but I don't know how big the chance is. Not that it really matters, but I'm a statistician and it's so hard not knowing. 
  • I start acupuncture after my last loss and continued it through the 1st trimester. I also started progesterone after I found out that I was pregnant and took it through week 12. We were told that we had a 2 in 6 chance of a healthy pregnancy, with the losses due to missing or extra chromosomes.
  • First I am very sorry for your loss.  This is a great place to come for emotional support.  I hate that we all have to be here but I am thankful to  have these great ladies to share this journey with.  Welcome!

  • I'm having a really rough couple days here. My cramping had been medium for a couple weeks, then was a little lighter/barely there for about a week, and then since last night and today it's been more severe. Nothing super painful, just clearly sharper and more than it had been previously. I'm really depressed about it, I just can't imagine it's anything other than a miscarriage starting.

    My first u/s is scheduled for next Wednesday (8 weeks exactly), which is less than a week away, and I'm so prepared for bad news, but that doesn't make it any easier. Part of my hopes that I'll just miscarry naturally this week if a miscarriage is inevitable, so I don't have to go through with getting the news at the u/s. :-( :-( :-(
  • Oh @MandyMost I'm so sorry! I really hope it's just growing/crappy first trimester stuff and not a MC starting. I feel like I had a bunch off and on that turned out to be nothing. Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers and keep us posted!
  • @MandyMost I know this feeling. I had cramps around that time and I convinced myself I was miscarrying. But I wasn't. It's so easy to let your mind go there and I wish I knew *the* thing to say (there is no thing, though) to make you feel better. I'm sending you lots of positive vibes for a happy, healthy baby, but also a peaceful mind. Thinking of you.
    BabyFruit Ticker

  • I had the ultrasound today, and I'm still in shock. It all went great. Strong heart beat, the right size (7 weeks 5 days). I was sooooo sure it was a MC. I wish I could feel more relieved, but now I'm already dreading how hard it would be to lose it the further along I get. 
  • Congratulations @MandyMost !! Hope you stay positive and happy :)
  • I hope things are still going well for you!!
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