Yep another baby shower post

allie89xoxo

everyone keeps asking when my shower is. I'm not having one because nobody offered to throw me one. Then when I tell them I'm not having one they freak and say "it's ur first baby you have to have one, it will be so fun and think of all the stuff you will get!!" Um okay people I'm not throwing my own shower and if u wanted me to have one so bad u should have threw me one. Plus I've already bought almost everything now.

geologynerd

I'm throwing one for myself. It's not a shower in the normal sense. We want to have an annual BBQ and decided to throw a "come see the belly" party. If people bring gifts, great. If they don't, that's okay too. we also called it our housewarming since we haven't had one of those either.

flas

You could throw a little something after the bAby is born. Or you could just sadly say no one is throwing one for me and make them feel bad for asking Though still if you want a little get together then maybe something afterwards, that's what I'm doing, just a little hey baby is here party

CarrieOct15

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12623929/having-wanting-a-baby-shower-warning-long-rant/p1

allie89xoxo

Thanks for being nice. And before the rude comments start if an admin could please delete this thread that would be great. I guess it rubbed some people the wrong way.

JLW0504

alliex1114 said:

Thanks for being nice. And before the rude comments start if an admin could please delete this thread that would be great. I guess it rubbed some people the wrong way.

@BumpAdmin

Unica1302+

Since it hasn't been erased yet, you could do something like a bbq or lunch at home prior to the baby or after. If I wasn't having a shower I would also be bombarded with "why not" and "you should". Leave the door open for gifts but don't expect them. I'd prefer before the baby only because parties with a new baby don't seem like a good idea but it's really up to you. Sometimes it's not about the outdated etiquette or the gifts, it's just about people wanting to get together to celebrate the coming baby and you of course.

CharminglySouthern

Unica1302+ said:

Since it hasn't been erased yet, you could do something like a bbq or lunch at home prior to the baby or after. If I wasn't having a shower I would also be bombarded with "why not" and "you should". Leave the door open for gifts but don't expect them. I'd prefer before the baby only because parties with a new baby don't seem like a good idea but it's really up to you. Sometimes it's not about the outdated etiquette or the gifts, it's just about people wanting to get together to celebrate the coming baby and you of course.

@Unica1302+ Etiquette is not outdated simply because you choose to ignore it.

MercyC1130

@CharminglySouthern and anyone using the "etiquette" card to (usually passive aggressively) pick on people;

Quite literally, the etiquette revolving around what is and what is not accepted at baby showers is evolving, rendering the rules of expected conduct more and more outdated every year.
I'm not saying this because I am by any means a shower expert, however, etiquette as a whole (not simply regarding showers) is not a static thing in culture.
Etiquette is set into place by people and by what people find socially acceptable. Obviously, these things change over time. The way we communicate, the way we set the dinner table, the way we speak, the way we work; it is all, at least roughly, dictated by what the social norm is of that time.
While some things may take time to evolve into a new standard of etiquette (perhaps baby showers), there are other things, communication via email or text for example, that seem to happen overnight (in this instance, thanking the surge of technology).
However long it takes, it is bound to happen. Society and what's expected changes; etiquette changes. Etiquette changes by people changing it. Like many things, the things we think control us are really in our control.
As it seems, the etiquette regarding showers seems to be changing. So yes, I would say that the etiquette so many here seem to rigidly be holding onto and shoving in others faces is in fact becoming outdated.
Now, let me be clear, etiquette and manners are vastly different. Manners are the good intent behind behavior.
To me at least, etiquette can faked, true manners cannot.
Good manners, good intentioned conscientious thought behind an action will never be outdated.
I think we could (hopefully almost all of us) agree that being ungrateful or gift grabby are most ill mannered. This being despite who is throwing the baby shower or how many you've had thrown.
I do believe life is situational, therefore for one to rigidly accept and abide by any rules (not just those adhering to 'etiquette') and expect others to do the same without a second thought into their personal situation is unfair, and really very rude. Rude more so than not abiding by those rules in the first place.
All this said, for me personally I like to pick and choose what aspects of the rules or etiquette I will follow. As long as my intention is always (it's not, but I'm human and always trying to be better) good and genuine than I say to hell with the standardized rules.
I would much rather be in trouble with others, than in trouble with myself.
Oh, and for those who want to use the 'definition' argument, you may be lacking the part of your brain that is capable of stringing together seemingly unrelated things. Lol. I know that baby showers are intended to 'shower' the MTB with gifts. However, like an incredible amount of other words and phrases, language is ever-evolving into something other than the original meaning.

If anyone really read any of this, then kudos?..lol.

wassuphoes

MercyC1130 said:

@CharminglySouthern and anyone using the "etiquette" card to (usually passive aggressively) pick on people;

Quite literally, the etiquette revolving around what is and what is not accepted at baby showers is evolving, rendering the rules of expected conduct more and more outdated every year.
I'm not saying this because I am by any means a shower expert, however, etiquette as a whole (not simply regarding showers) is not a static thing in culture.
Etiquette is set into place by people and by what people find socially acceptable. Obviously, these things change over time. The way we communicate, the way we set the dinner table, the way we speak, the way we work; it is all, at least roughly, dictated by what the social norm is of that time.
While some things may take time to evolve into a new standard of etiquette (perhaps baby showers), there are other things, communication via email or text for example, that seem to happen overnight (in this instance, thanking the surge of technology).
However long it takes, it is bound to happen. Society and what's expected changes; etiquette changes. Etiquette changes by people changing it. Like many things, the things we think control us are really in our control.
As it seems, the etiquette regarding showers seems to be changing. So yes, I would say that the etiquette so many here seem to rigidly be holding onto and shoving in others faces is in fact becoming outdated.
Now, let me be clear, etiquette and manners are vastly different. Manners are the good intent behind behavior.
To me at least, etiquette can faked, true manners cannot.
Good manners, good intentioned conscientious thought behind an action will never be outdated.
I think we could (hopefully almost all of us) agree that being ungrateful or gift grabby are most ill mannered. This being despite who is throwing the baby shower or how many you've had thrown.
I do believe life is situational, therefore for one to rigidly accept and abide by any rules (not just those adhering to 'etiquette') and expect others to do the same without a second thought into their personal situation is unfair, and really very rude. Rude more so than not abiding by those rules in the first place.
All this said, for me personally I like to pick and choose what aspects of the rules or etiquette I will follow. As long as my intention is always (it's not, but I'm human and always trying to be better) good and genuine than I say to hell with the standardized rules.
I would much rather be in trouble with others, than in trouble with myself.
Oh, and for those who want to use the 'definition' argument, you may be lacking the part of your brain that is capable of stringing together seemingly unrelated things. Lol. I know that baby showers are intended to 'shower' the MTB with gifts. However, like an incredible amount of other words and phrases, language is ever-evolving into something other than the original meaning.

If anyone really read any of this, then kudos?..lol.

Lol. It's super funny that the only condescending person in this thread is you. Lol.

HellsAngel22

MercyC1130 said:

@CharminglySouthern and anyone using the "etiquette" card to (usually passive aggressively) pick on people;

Quite literally, the etiquette revolving around what is and what is not accepted at baby showers is evolving, rendering the rules of expected conduct more and more outdated every year.
I'm not saying this because I am by any means a shower expert, however, etiquette as a whole (not simply regarding showers) is not a static thing in culture.
Etiquette is set into place by people and by what people find socially acceptable. Obviously, these things change over time. The way we communicate, the way we set the dinner table, the way we speak, the way we work; it is all, at least roughly, dictated by what the social norm is of that time.
While some things may take time to evolve into a new standard of etiquette (perhaps baby showers), there are other things, communication via email or text for example, that seem to happen overnight (in this instance, thanking the surge of technology).
However long it takes, it is bound to happen. Society and what's expected changes; etiquette changes. Etiquette changes by people changing it. Like many things, the things we think control us are really in our control.
As it seems, the etiquette regarding showers seems to be changing. So yes, I would say that the etiquette so many here seem to rigidly be holding onto and shoving in others faces is in fact becoming outdated.
Now, let me be clear, etiquette and manners are vastly different. Manners are the good intent behind behavior.
To me at least, etiquette can faked, true manners cannot.
Good manners, good intentioned conscientious thought behind an action will never be outdated.
I think we could (hopefully almost all of us) agree that being ungrateful or gift grabby are most ill mannered. This being despite who is throwing the baby shower or how many you've had thrown.
I do believe life is situational, therefore for one to rigidly accept and abide by any rules (not just those adhering to 'etiquette') and expect others to do the same without a second thought into their personal situation is unfair, and really very rude. Rude more so than not abiding by those rules in the first place.
All this said, for me personally I like to pick and choose what aspects of the rules or etiquette I will follow. As long as my intention is always (it's not, but I'm human and always trying to be better) good and genuine than I say to hell with the standardized rules.
I would much rather be in trouble with others, than in trouble with myself.
Oh, and for those who want to use the 'definition' argument, you may be lacking the part of your brain that is capable of stringing together seemingly unrelated things. Lol. I know that baby showers are intended to 'shower' the MTB with gifts. However, like an incredible amount of other words and phrases, language is ever-evolving into something other than the original meaning.

If anyone really read any of this, then kudos?..lol.

Pick on people? Seriously are you throwing that card out there? Honesty this is getting boring. As @wassuphoes said the only one being condescending is you.

CharminglySouthern

@MercyC1130 How did I, or anyone else here, pick on anyone? Please explain? In a less condescending, passive-aggressive novel, thanks.

PetitNightingale

I don't think she's trying to be condescending. Just throwing that out there, it didn't strike me that way. 

I agree though that etiquette is not outdated just because we choose to ignore it. 

flas

Yeah etiquette isn't so much evolving as disappearing give way to everyone just saying "do what you want" without any regards for anyone else. I'm not a Me Me Me person and I have no intention of letting go of common courtesy, manners, and etiquette.

modanz1

wassuphoes said:

MercyC1130 said:

@CharminglySouthern and anyone using the "etiquette" card to (usually passive aggressively) pick on people;

Quite literally, the etiquette revolving around what is and what is not accepted at baby showers is evolving, rendering the rules of expected conduct more and more outdated every year.
I'm not saying this because I am by any means a shower expert, however, etiquette as a whole (not simply regarding showers) is not a static thing in culture.
Etiquette is set into place by people and by what people find socially acceptable. Obviously, these things change over time. The way we communicate, the way we set the dinner table, the way we speak, the way we work; it is all, at least roughly, dictated by what the social norm is of that time.
While some things may take time to evolve into a new standard of etiquette (perhaps baby showers), there are other things, communication via email or text for example, that seem to happen overnight (in this instance, thanking the surge of technology).
However long it takes, it is bound to happen. Society and what's expected changes; etiquette changes. Etiquette changes by people changing it. Like many things, the things we think control us are really in our control.
As it seems, the etiquette regarding showers seems to be changing. So yes, I would say that the etiquette so many here seem to rigidly be holding onto and shoving in others faces is in fact becoming outdated.
Now, let me be clear, etiquette and manners are vastly different. Manners are the good intent behind behavior.
To me at least, etiquette can faked, true manners cannot.
Good manners, good intentioned conscientious thought behind an action will never be outdated.
I think we could (hopefully almost all of us) agree that being ungrateful or gift grabby are most ill mannered. This being despite who is throwing the baby shower or how many you've had thrown.
I do believe life is situational, therefore for one to rigidly accept and abide by any rules (not just those adhering to 'etiquette') and expect others to do the same without a second thought into their personal situation is unfair, and really very rude. Rude more so than not abiding by those rules in the first place.
All this said, for me personally I like to pick and choose what aspects of the rules or etiquette I will follow. As long as my intention is always (it's not, but I'm human and always trying to be better) good and genuine than I say to hell with the standardized rules.
I would much rather be in trouble with others, than in trouble with myself.
Oh, and for those who want to use the 'definition' argument, you may be lacking the part of your brain that is capable of stringing together seemingly unrelated things. Lol. I know that baby showers are intended to 'shower' the MTB with gifts. However, like an incredible amount of other words and phrases, language is ever-evolving into something other than the original meaning.

If anyone really read any of this, then kudos?..lol.

Lol. It's super funny that the only condescending person in this thread is you. Lol.

I am I the only one who finds it odd that this novelist appears to have some in depth understanding of etiquette, it's origins and evolving rules and then states, "I prefer to pick and choose the parts I want to follow".  Seems a little ridic. Just saying.

fitmama89

Cool story. I can totally see why it needed its own thread =D>

MercyC1130

@modanz1 By finding it odd are you implying that it seems hypocritical? I feel it's the very opposite of being hypocritical because by picking what you deem appropriate you are in fact furthering an evolving idea of what is considered proper etiquette.
Also, by choosing what parts of etiquette to apply to your own life is a reflection of the manners you choose to enforce.
I will say it again, manners are much more important than what is considered proper etiquette.

lol. I do write a lot. I think a lot and feel when I want to convey something, it's best to do so thoroughly and without resorting to too much passive aggressive or sarcastic tones. Sometimes it sure does fit though..
Wish I was a novelist, fews brackets below at essayist

MercyC1130

flas said:

Yeah etiquette isn't so much evolving as disappearing give way to everyone just saying "do what you want" without any regards for anyone else. I'm not a Me Me Me person and I have no intention of letting go of common courtesy, manners, and etiquette.

I think this is also just a difference between etiquette and manners.
I think there seems to be changing etiquette in so far as hosting your own shower, for example.
However, good manners, not etiquette, would be the part where you don't put your registry info right on top of the invite...
You write thank you notes not because etiquette says to (because etiquette defiantly doesn't seem to have changed on this) but because you are genuinely gracious and thankful for any gifts or time someone spent on you (hopefully this is why).

MercyC1130

(Sorry this isn't all in one post)

@CharminglySouthern @wassuphoes @HellsAngel22
Maybe the same way I'm coming off condescending when that wasn't at all my intent (maybe a teasing touch at the end), is the same how other comments read come off passive aggressive or rude when their intent is not that.
I meant mostly to provide a logical argument against what some may consider to be etiquette and what some think is outdated.

wassuphoes

MercyC1130 said:

(Sorry this isn't all in one post)

@CharminglySouthern @wassuphoes @HellsAngel22
Maybe the same way I'm coming off condescending when that wasn't at all my intent (maybe a teasing touch at the end), is the same how other comments read come off passive aggressive or rude when their intent is not that.
I meant mostly to provide a logical argument against what some may consider to be etiquette and what some think is outdated.

When you insinuate that people who don't agree with you lack critical and abstract thinking skills, a couple lols does not a joke make. People are always going to misread tone on the internet (which is why A. tone arguments are pretty lame and B. you shouldn't read try to infer tone on the internet) But if the only thing suggesting something you've written is meant to be a joke is "lol", well your joke is going to fall real flat. If you think someone is being condescending or rude, call them out when they do it. Generalized posts on barely related threads accomplishes nothing.

MercyC1130

wassuphoes said:

MercyC1130 said:

(Sorry this isn't all in one post)

@CharminglySouthern @wassuphoes @HellsAngel22
Maybe the same way I'm coming off condescending when that wasn't at all my intent (maybe a teasing touch at the end), is the same how other comments read come off passive aggressive or rude when their intent is not that.
I meant mostly to provide a logical argument against what some may consider to be etiquette and what some think is outdated.

When you insinuate that people who don't agree with you lack critical and abstract thinking skills, a couple lols does not a joke make.

People are always going to misread tone on the internet (which is why A. tone arguments are pretty lame and B. you shouldn't read try to infer tone on the internet) But if the only thing suggesting something you've written is meant to be a joke is "lol", well your joke is going to fall real flat.

If you think someone is being condescending or rude, call them out when they do it. Generalized posts on barely related threads accomplishes nothing.

Well, I agree with pretty much all of this.
I think what I was saying, albeit calling anyone out in particular, was pretty specific and related to the comments of the thread though.
Not so much the original post, but then again neither is any of this.
Defiantly not trying to get on anyone's bad side. Just offering up what I thought was a debatable argument. Didn't think it end up an issue about how I argue, rather what I was arguing.
I went too far with insulting, although not my intent.

vomitrosa

I'm sorry no one offered to throw you a shower, that can be a crummy feeling with it being your first and with hormones raging it can put you in a bad state of mind. Try not to take it personal, some people have probably assumed family is throwing it for you. Talk with your SO and do as some of the previous posters said, have a welcoming BBQ or just a get together to celebrate the baby that is soon to be joining you guys! There is nothing wrong with that at all.

CharminglySouthern

Definitely. It's definitely.

MercyC1130

CharminglySouthern said:

Definitely. It's definitely.

I missed that autocorrect. Autocorrect.

flas

MercyC1130 said:

flas said:

Yeah etiquette isn't so much evolving as disappearing give way to everyone just saying "do what you want" without any regards for anyone else. I'm not a Me Me Me person and I have no intention of letting go of common courtesy, manners, and etiquette.

I think this is also just a difference between etiquette and manners.
I think there seems to be changing etiquette in so far as hosting your own shower, for example.
However, good manners, not etiquette, would be the part where you don't put your registry info right on top of the invite...
You write thank you notes not because etiquette says to (because etiquette defiantly doesn't seem to have changed on this) but because you are genuinely gracious and thankful for any gifts or time someone spent on you (hopefully this is why).

Yes but by the changing of etiquette such as throwing your own baby shower we are again giving into the narcissism that seems to just be the norm nowadays. I guess I just see this as another, albeit small, war lost. Perhaps I'm just an old stuffed shirt who doesn't get all this new aged stuff, I have started yelling at teens. 32 is the new 80.

pink*sheep

Folks are pretty fixed as to what they find acceptable and why and how they interpret etiquette and manners quite frankly. This place is about discussing and sharing experiences with people in similar shoes. Often times I think folks get a little too focused on the shoes themselves and how people walk in them, and it seems like it affects some more negatively than others.

I mean really, is anyone going to look back and say "thank goodness I did it the way people on an Internet forum thought I should do it"?

Unica1302+

@pink*sheep That last little piece above^^ should be posted on the front of every discussion. LOL!

I don't understand how difficult it is for people to understand the whole shower etiquette or tradition is NOT one size fits all. There's lots of regional and cultural differences as well as adaptations. For example my family does not give one flying crud about thank you cards. But they love a random picture or text of me using a gift or wearing a gift. <- thats not offensive, thats knowing your audience! Yes, etiquette is outdated when no1 around you uses it. I cannot understand how some women in N15 come down so harshly on others just because they aren't doing shower in the "appropriate" way (sincerely hoping that's a hormone thing for some of you).

Like @MercyC1130 said having good manners is different and this should be the expectation.

@CharminglySouthern (plus others who I'm not going to waste my time tagging)- I'd refer you to all the shower posts and responses in which some women (mostly the same ones, just saying) pick at the same point and make the same jokes, post the same type memes or gifs as if the the poster is always the inconsiderate idiot. And let's not forget the individual threads made so these same women can vent about "how tired they are of reading about showers". Really? Cause shutting up and not replying is too hard for them, it's stupid attention seeking group mentality. None of it is helpful it's condescending foolishness.

Also @CharminglySouthern -way to be mature by picking up on a typo...big point made *thumbs up for you*.

Maybe we can all agree to change the age old saying "if you've got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all" to "if you've got nothing productive to say, save you thumbs as well as phone battery and say nothing at all". Because seriously in a few weeks, I'm pretty sure most of us won't be here. This just a temporary questions Q&A/support group, use the etiquette that some of you love to go on and on about and play nice.

CharminglySouthern

Unica1302+ said:

@pink*sheep That last little piece above^^ should be posted on the front of every discussion. LOL!

I don't understand how difficult it is for people to understand the whole shower etiquette or tradition is NOT one size fits all. There's lots of regional and cultural differences as well as adaptations. For example my family does not give one flying crud about thank you cards. But they love a random picture or text of me using a gift or wearing a gift. <- thats not offensive, thats knowing your audience! Yes, etiquette is outdated when no1 around you uses it. I cannot understand how some women in N15 come down so harshly on others just because they aren't doing shower in the "appropriate" way (sincerely hoping that's a hormone thing for some of you).

Like @MercyC1130 said having good manners is different and this should be the expectation.

@CharminglySouthern (plus others who I'm not going to waste my time tagging)- I'd refer you to all the shower posts and responses in which some women (mostly the same ones, just saying) pick at the same point and make the same jokes, post the same type memes or gifs as if the the poster is always the inconsiderate idiot. And let's not forget the individual threads made so these same women can vent about "how tired they are of reading about showers". Really? Cause shutting up and not replying is too hard for them, it's stupid attention seeking group mentality. None of it is helpful it's condescending foolishness.

Also @CharminglySouthern -way to be mature by picking up on a typo...big point made *thumbs up for you*.

Maybe we can all agree to change the age old saying "if you've got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all" to "if you've got nothing productive to say, save you thumbs as well as phone battery and say nothing at all". Because seriously in a few weeks, I'm pretty sure most of us won't be here. This just a temporary questions Q&A/support group, use the etiquette that some of you love to go on and on about and play nice. </p>

Actually it was a typo that was made in several of the same posters comments, who also claims to be an "essayist" and was being condescending. So, there's that.

If that's the best you've got...Insert massive eye roll here.

It's not my job to pat your head and tell you your pretty. I don't need to agree with you if I think you're wrong and I do. I think we live in an entitled society. People think they're owed everything and everyone deserves a trophy just for showing up. It's pathetic.

And it's fine to follow whatever etiquette is normal for your group, if you never plan on traveling outside it. Good luck with that.

Edited because no glasses on.

PetitNightingale

I saw more maturity and kindness in my high school locker room. Jesus. Can't we all just disagree and keep it moving? 

jscasher

CharminglySouthern said:

Unica1302+ said:

@pink*sheep That last little piece above^^ should be posted on the front of every discussion. LOL!

I don't understand how difficult it is for people to understand the whole shower etiquette or tradition is NOT one size fits all. There's lots of regional and cultural differences as well as adaptations. For example my family does not give one flying crud about thank you cards. But they love a random picture or text of me using a gift or wearing a gift. <- thats not offensive, thats knowing your audience! Yes, etiquette is outdated when no1 around you uses it. I cannot understand how some women in N15 come down so harshly on others just because they aren't doing shower in the "appropriate" way (sincerely hoping that's a hormone thing for some of you).

Like @MercyC1130 said having good manners is different and this should be the expectation.

@CharminglySouthern (plus others who I'm not going to waste my time tagging)- I'd refer you to all the shower posts and responses in which some women (mostly the same ones, just saying) pick at the same point and make the same jokes, post the same type memes or gifs as if the the poster is always the inconsiderate idiot. And let's not forget the individual threads made so these same women can vent about "how tired they are of reading about showers". Really? Cause shutting up and not replying is too hard for them, it's stupid attention seeking group mentality. None of it is helpful it's condescending foolishness.

Also @CharminglySouthern -way to be mature by picking up on a typo...big point made *thumbs up for you*.

Maybe we can all agree to change the age old saying "if you've got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all" to "if you've got nothing productive to say, save you thumbs as well as phone battery and say nothing at all". Because seriously in a few weeks, I'm pretty sure most of us won't be here. This just a temporary questions Q&A/support group, use the etiquette that some of you love to go on and on about and play nice. </p>

Actually it was a typo that was made in several of the same posters comments, who also claims to be an "essayist" and was being condescending. So, there's that.

If that's the best you've got...Insert massive eye roll here.

It's not my job to pay your head and tell you your pretty. I don't need to agree with you if I think you're wrong and I do. I think we live in an entitled society. People think they're owed everything and everyone deserves a trophy just for showing up. It's pathetic.

And it's fine to follow whatever etiquette is normal for your group, if you never plan on traveling outside it. Good luck with that.

I'm definitely on board with the "entitled society" bit. People think things are owed to them when in reality, no one owes anyone anything. I've specifically told friends who are attending 3+ baby showers this month not to stress about gifts for mine because so many of us in our circle are pregnant. And I'm not throwing my own, if it were up to me I probably wouldn't even have one. I feel weird saying "hey, DH and I procreated, please come buy us gifts."

And yeah, I know it's not about gifts but more of the celebration of new life. But unfortunately, everyone seems to think they go hand in hand.

ASalton1

I'm not having one either. My mom offered to throw one but life got in the way and it fell through. It's okay, I would rather people who want to send me a gift just mail me a gift card. If not, that's okay too. I don't think it's taboo to throw yourself a baby shower but for me personally, I don't feel like entertaining with a bowling ball strapped to my abdomen. Lol. Good luck!

Ceridwen77

First this:

Unica1302+ said:

I don't understand how difficult it is for people to understand the whole shower etiquette or tradition is NOT one size fits all.

Then this:

Unica1302+ said:

I cannot understand how some women in N15 come down so harshly on others just because they aren't doing shower in the "appropriate" way (sincerely hoping that's a hormone thing for some of you).

But then preaching about:

Unica1302+ said:

Like @MercyC1130 said having good manners is different and this should be the expectation.

As well as:

Unica1302+ said:

None of it is helpful it's condescending foolishness.

In your own words:

Unica1302+ said:

way to be mature...*thumbs up for you*.

Andplusalso:

Unica1302+ said:

"if you've got nothing productive to say, save you thumbs as well as phone battery and say nothing at all".

Unica1302+ said:

Because seriously in a few weeks, I'm pretty sure most of us won't be here.

:-h :-h :-h

thegingeravenger

Unica1302+ said:

@pink*sheep That last little piece above^^ should be posted on the front of every discussion. LOL!

I don't understand how difficult it is for people to understand the whole shower etiquette or tradition is NOT one size fits all. There's lots of regional and cultural differences as well as adaptations. For example my family does not give one flying crud about thank you cards. But they love a random picture or text of me using a gift or wearing a gift. <- thats not offensive, thats knowing your audience! Yes, etiquette is outdated when no1 around you uses it. I cannot understand how some women in N15 come down so harshly on others just because they aren't doing shower in the "appropriate" way (sincerely hoping that's a hormone thing for some of you).

Like @MercyC1130 said having good manners is different and this should be the expectation.

@CharminglySouthern (plus others who I'm not going to waste my time tagging)- I'd refer you to all the shower posts and responses in which some women (mostly the same ones, just saying) pick at the same point and make the same jokes, post the same type memes or gifs as if the the poster is always the inconsiderate idiot. And let's not forget the individual threads made so these same women can vent about "how tired they are of reading about showers". Really? Cause shutting up and not replying is too hard for them, it's stupid attention seeking group mentality. None of it is helpful it's condescending foolishness.

Also @CharminglySouthern -way to be mature by picking up on a typo...big point made *thumbs up for you*.

Maybe we can all agree to change the age old saying "if you've got nothing nice to say, say nothing at all" to "if you've got nothing productive to say, save you thumbs as well as phone battery and say nothing at all". Because seriously in a few weeks, I'm pretty sure most of us won't be here. This just a temporary questions Q&A/support group, use the etiquette that some of you love to go on and on about and play nice. </p>

For the record, many of us have been a part of this community since March or April of this year. Some women have come to us after spending time on the TTGP boards. We've grown together into our own little corner of TB. Many BMBs go on to join private groups on TB or even Facebook groups because it is 100% possible to form strong bonds that turn into real friendships on here.

Also, these repeat questions that everyone's so divided on? This isn't a new thing. For the first tri it was 'is x symptom normal?', for the second tri it was 'when will I feel movement?' or the even more obnoxious 'was the tech wrong?' with a surprise ultrasound crotch shot (*shudders*), now it's baby showers and I'm willing to bet my left ovary that next month starts the serious 'is this my mucus plug?' and 'am I in labor?' questions.

As for the whole Thumper-ism, I've said it once before and I'll say it again, I've never said anything on this site that I wouldn't say to someone's face. My screenname may protect my actual identity, but this isn't a persona that I'm hiding behind. This is me. I like etiquette, I like good manners, I like snark, I love gifs, and I hate being accused of "stupid attention seeking group mentality" by people that post looking for an opinion in a public forum and get butthurt because they didn't get the answer they were looking for.

lakesideknitter

@Ceridwen77 & @thegingeravenger FTW!!

MercyC1130

@CharminglySouthern I'm sorry misspelling 'definitely' too many times ruffled your feathers. Usually I catch and correct autocorrect, but missed those ones.
Only after jokingly being called a "novelist", because the length of my comment, did I say I was an essayist.
Also, neither being a novelist or what have you necessarily equates to good spelling... Apparently Ernest Hemingway was a pretty bad speller.

FinePlacentaPie

Ceridwen77 said:

First this:

I don't understand how difficult it is for people to understand the whole shower etiquette or tradition is NOT one size fits all.

Then this:

I cannot understand how some women in N15 come down so harshly on others just because they aren't doing shower in the "appropriate" way (sincerely hoping that's a hormone thing for some of you).

But then preaching about:

Like @MercyC1130 said having good manners is different and this should be the expectation.

As well as:

None of it is helpful it's condescending foolishness.

In your own words:

way to be mature...*thumbs up for you*.

Andplusalso:

"if you've got nothing productive to say, save you thumbs as well as phone battery and say nothing at all".

Because seriously in a few weeks, I'm pretty sure most of us won't be here.

:-h :-h :-h

I've missed you so.

PetitNightingale

*lurking*

Guess I'm not the only one who gets shit.

*back to lurking*

Good luck OP. 

thegingeravenger

PetitNightingale said:

*lurking*

Guess I'm not the only one who gets shit.

*back to lurking*

Good luck OP. 

And again. Seriously? 

Stop making everything about you. Excessive narcissism is a bad thing. 

CharminglySouthern

thegingeravenger said:

PetitNightingale said:

*lurking*

Guess I'm not the only one who gets shit.

*back to lurking*

Good luck OP. 

And again. Seriously? 

Stop making everything about you. Excessive narcissism is a bad thing. 

Seriously, ew.

lakesideknitter

PetitNightingale said:

*lurking*

Guess I'm not the only one who gets shit.

*back to lurking*

Good luck OP. 

Again, woof.

hacharles

PetitNightingale said:

*lurking*

Guess I'm not the only one who gets shit.

*back to lurking*

Good luck OP. 

I'm not sure you know what lurking actually means considering how often you post. Make sense please.