baby shower for baby #2 — The Bump
Baby Showers

baby shower for baby #2

Hey I am currently undecided whether or not to bring up about having a baby shower as this is my 2nd child and I had 1 for my 1st child. I need people's opinions ? Soo confused and not really sure how people will react!

Re: baby shower for baby #2

  • Agree w/PP. You shouldn't bring up having a shower to anyone. If someone offers to throw you one, it is your choice to accept or decline. As PP pointed out, the purpose of a shower is to welcome a woman to motherhood and "shower" her with gifts (so yes, showers ARE about gifts). 2nd showers for subsequent children are typically frowned upon since you are no longer a first time mother. Lots of people have them anyway for one reason or another but I personally would decline a second shower, even if someone offered. It's considered bad form to have subsequent showers.

    If you really want to "celebrate the baby", have a tea or brunch, or luncheon after the baby is born. Do not mention gifts. It's a nice way to celebrate and have your friends & family meet the baby w/o obligating them to bring a gift, like a shower would. Many will bring gifts anyway, but should not be expected to. This is really the only "socially acceptable" way to fete a second baby and you actually can host this yourself rather than have someone else take on the burden of throwing you a party.
    wassuphoesfwtx5815Sassenach1743
  • All the nope to this one. 2nd babies don't get a shower, and moms don't ask people to host a shower for them. 
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    onefootinthebayoumissemmawoodhousebbiutmcph
  • Second showers are so tacky. It's irrelevant anyway if no one has offered to throw you one. You should not throw your own.

    August '18 April Siggy Challenge: April Showers





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  • My partner actually suggested to chuck me a baby shower this time around as I don't have friends with kids and they don't really know much about it and as for my 1st I organised that with my sister In law and thoroughly enjoyed it! I just wanted to chuck it there as I don't believe that the baby shower is about gifts so much anyway but celebrating new life
  • That is why I was wanting thoughts on 2nd baby showers!
  • My partner actually suggested to chuck me a baby shower this time around as I don't have friends with kids and they don't really know much about it and as for my 1st I organised that with my sister In law and thoroughly enjoyed it! I just wanted to chuck it there as I don't believe that the baby shower is about gifts so much anyway but celebrating new life
    It seems as if a lot of people think baby showers are about celebrating new life but by definition, that's not the case.  Showers are meant to be gift giving events so if you have one, people will automatically assume they have to bring a gift.  So if you are wanting to have a celebration-type party, just have a regular party and leave the baby stuff out.  

    And I just wanted to touch upon your comment about organizing your 1st baby shower.  The MTB should really be involved in as little as possible with their showers so I would refrain from doing so in the future.  I'd also refrain from bringing up a shower to anyone, as they are gifts and it would be rude to do so.
    Because fall

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    onefootinthebayouCharmBombExplosionfwtx5815Sassenach1743
  • ecwkecwk member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited September 2015

    My partner actually suggested to chuck me a baby shower this time around as I don't have friends with kids and they don't really know much about it and as for my 1st I organised that with my sister In law and thoroughly enjoyed it! I just wanted to chuck it there as I don't believe that the baby shower is about gifts so much anyway but celebrating new life

    Wait, I'm confused. If a baby shower isn't about gifts to you then I assume you won't include a registry or maybe will specify that gifts are not required?? Or perhaps just have it after baby is here so that you can truly celebrate the 'new life'?
    Because otherwise, you guys are essentially throwing a party in your own honour with the expectation that your guests bring gifts. Would you do that for your birthday too? Eurgh.

    EditEd for clarity

    August '18 April Siggy Challenge: April Showers





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  • We didn't even ask for gifts for our 1st as we made it optional as it was not essential to us as we already had everything we needed! As for the celebrating of the life of our new soon to be baby, yes we wanna share that with close friends and family and have a party to welcome our newborn child and for the family and friends to meet the baby. So as all you very judgemental people keep clearly stating a baby shower obviously may not be the way to do that and as I was not fully aware of " the technical term of a baby shower" according to yourselfs I refrain my question and will seek advice on anything else from another source!!
  • I personally wouldn't feel the need to have a second shower for baby #2. I'm not really looking forward to baby #1's shower because I'm a terrible gift receiver and feel so awkward having people buy me things. I really only wanted a cookout/gathering with the people I love to celebrate finally getting pregnant. SO's grandmother and my cousin wouldn't have any part of that and made me register and include it on the invites. I'm very grateful for someone throwing a shower for me and for anything gifted to me, however if I have another we will probably have a little party a couple months after the birth to celebrate the baby's life. I wouldn't expect or want gifts, though. We are able providers and the only gift we really desire from people is their time.
    ecwkonefootinthebayou
  • If your mind is already made up that you're having a second shower, why did you ask for opinions here? You asked for advice and people gave it. Don't get pissy that it's not what you wanted to hear...

    CharminglySouthernonefootinthebayouSassenach1743modanz1
  • I detect from your language that you're not from the US. Is that correct? In the US, it is very frowned upon to have showers for any other than your first child with a few exceptions. In other countries, I believe the UK is one, showers are a very new concept and cultural norms regarding them haven't been set yet. In all cases, though, your partner should not be throwing a shower for you because (s)he benefits from those gifts like you do. If you don't have someone outside of your home to throw you a shower, then unfortunately, you should not have a shower. If you don't need anything, do like some of the other ladies have mentioned and throw a party after the baby has arrived.

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    onefootinthebayouDesignermomma
  • ^^^Yes! It's called sometimes a "Sip & See" or "Meet the baby" party. Google it.
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  • It depends on your social circle and culture. Everyone isn't from the Martha Stewart tribe. Many cultures have showers for each baby . Do what you feel is best. Have fun.
    CCasey2015BDCarter
  • It depends on your social circle and culture. Everyone isn't from the Martha Stewart tribe. Many cultures have showers for each baby . Do what you feel is best. Have fun.
    The Martha Stewart tribe?  
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    CharminglySouthernfwtx5815Litterateur
  • Martha Stewart tribe those that act like there is a golden etiquette book everyone must follow. Other cultures celebrate each baby and every social circle is different . Some cultures celebrate with a shower for each. If your culture or social circle doesn't then that's ok. But there are others who do, in some cultures it's perfectly acceptable and expected.
  • Martha Stewart tribe those that act like there is a golden etiquette book everyone must follow. Other cultures celebrate each baby and every social circle is different . Some cultures celebrate with a shower for each. If your culture or social circle doesn't then that's ok. But there are others who do, in some cultures it's perfectly acceptable and expected.
    And I'm fully aware of that and accept that reasoning.

    However, even people within social circles have varying views on etiquette and unless you personally know that each and every person attending this event is okay with it, you still run the risk of coming across as rude to someone.  And for the majority of people, I'm sure they don't run around taking a poll of their guests' feelings on the matter so to me, it's just better to err on the side of caution.

    It's just not worth it to me to hurt someone I care about over a few presents.
    Because fall

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    wassuphoesonefootinthebayouCharminglySouthernfwtx5815
  • In my area it's pretty normal to have a shower for the second baby, especially if it's a different sex than the first ("Oh, she's having a girl this time! We need to buy her a ton of pink crap!")

    However, it is never ok to ask for a shower. Just wait and see if it's offered. If no one offers, there's your answer.
    cmjn94
  • It depends on your social circle and culture. Everyone isn't from the Martha Stewart tribe. Many cultures have showers for each baby . Do what you feel is best. Have fun.

    LOL! This just made me giggle!
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