February 2016 Moms
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Unpopular Opinions (9/3)

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Re: Unpopular Opinions (9/3)

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    RN0107 said:
    The thought of drinking milk with dinner makes me want to barf right now tbh. Plus it's extra calories. I use organic milk or almond milk in my cereal and may have a glass with a cookie or dessert but never with a meal. I will never drink non-organic milk again though - nor allow my child to have. The thought of all the antibiotics in meat and dairy worry me. You can't always avoid it with meat at a restaurant but you can at home. Don't understand why anyone wouldn't buy organic, grass-fed, antibiotic-free with all we know.
    I find this very offensive. With 2 young boys that love their milk I go through 4-5 gallons of milk each week. I just can't afford to buy only organic milk that's more than double the price of non organic. I think it's completely ignorant of you to place judgement on those of us that don't buy organics.
    Ever think that maybe you shouldn't give them milk then? 4-5 gallons seems like way too much for 2 little boys. 

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    @pbtoast absolutely. That comment is a completely different issue. I would never judge someone for not buying certain type of food. It's just something that made an impact in my life and a principal I would like to follow.
    But I could never give up meat. And I hope vegetarians don't judge me for eating meat; I do what I can to help the situation, but obviously I have my limits ( can't give up meat/ dairy ). And just like I hope vegetarians don't just me for eating meat, I would never judge someone for not buying the same type of food that I do!
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    Ever think that maybe you shouldn't give them milk then? 4-5 gallons seems like way too much for 2 little boys. 
    Not really. I'm assuming the boys aren't drinking all of the milk by themselves and I can easily drink a gallon of milk a week by myself and so could my SO. When I was a kid, I was the only milk drinker and regularly drank a gallon by myself. So it's not unreasonable to think a family of 4 might drink 4-5 gallons of milk a week. I don't buy milk specially marked organic, but I buy from a dairy store that doesn't use antibiotics.

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    This may really get me flamed but along the same idea as everyone claiming to be allergic to gluten (not talking about the diagnosed ones), you may notice that once march/ april hits, A LOT of moms will say that their infant is allergic to milk and that's why they are fussy/ colic. I once read that the true milk allergy rate is only 2-3 % in infants, but I remember in my last BMB what seemed like about half the moms claimed that their babies were fussy because of milk allergy without any diagnosis and cut out dairy from their own diet while breastfeeding. Babies are fussy; some more than others but that does not automatically mean that they are allergic to cows milk. 

    This. I have an actual milk allergy..not lactose intolerance, but I'm allergic to the protein in milk. There's a chance my DD could get it, but so far she seems to tolerate milk better than I do. I never acted paranoid about her being allergic to milk...I don't want her to be allergic to it! It's miserable! 

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    RN0107 said:

    The thought of drinking milk with dinner makes me want to barf right now tbh. Plus it's extra calories. I use organic milk or almond milk in my cereal and may have a glass with a cookie or dessert but never with a meal.
    I will never drink non-organic milk again though - nor allow my child to have. The thought of all the antibiotics in meat and dairy worry me. You can't always avoid it with meat at a restaurant but you can at home.

    Don't understand why anyone wouldn't buy organic, grass-fed, antibiotic-free with all we know.

    I find this very offensive. With 2 young boys that love their milk I go through 4-5 gallons of milk each week. I just can't afford to buy only organic milk that's more than double the price of non organic. I think it's completely ignorant of you to place judgement on those of us that don't buy organics.

    Ever think that maybe you shouldn't give them milk then? 4-5 gallons seems like way too much for 2 little boys. 
    --anticipating quote fail---
    You're really going to tell her how to feed her kids?
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    ohbaby714 said:
    --anticipating quote fail--- You're really going to tell her how to feed her kids?
    Obviously if you can't afford organic, grass-fed, antibiotic free you're not a fit mother, right? <end sarcasm>

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    ohbaby714 said:
    --anticipating quote fail--- You're really going to tell her how to feed her kids?
    Obviously if you can't afford organic, grass-fed, antibiotic free you're not a fit mother, right? <end sarcasm>
    You are really blowing what I said out of proportion. I understand if people can't afford it. I think that's a really valid point. But, when that point is made along with a personal attack (not by you) on my character- I think it's understandable that I will come back with some not so very nice things to say. 


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    Your statement came across that you don't understand that people can't afford to buy only organic/grass fed/antibiotic free.

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    @inomniaparatus what I saw wasn't an attack on you, but someone letting you know that the things you say very often come off as judgy and elitist. It's great that you can afford the food, apartment, etc that you want, but for me I struggle to make it from paycheck to paycheck so I would have to make the choice between spending extra on organic etc groceries or my gas bill. I truly think @notasycophant was just trying to get you to realize that your lifestyle is not the norm and your comment that you couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't buy organic was one of the elitist comments that you've made that ignores that not everyone is in your income range.
    I think these forums are great for exposing all of us to people from all walks of life. I don't have a ton of money and I've definitely had trouble paying some bills at different points. But, I also know that I'm probably living a different lifestyle than most of the rest of the country and it's good for me to get a reality check once in a while. I don't want my reality check to come at the expense of others' feelings and I do feel bad that I unintentionally offend people sometimes. But, I also sometimes feel picked on for coming from a different walk of life as well... like when I posted about a crib... I didn't realize the price of the crib was in the photo. I never mentioned the price. I just wanted opinions but then felt a little picked on for choosing an expensive one. 


    I respect hearing what you have to say... but @notasycophant made a blatant attack on my character -- saying I lacked empathy. When, honestly, if you ask anyone I know in real life- I'm probably one of the most empathetic people they know. We can all have our opinions, we can argue about them... but it doesn't have to get so personal. 

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    @inomniaparatus - even if the price wasn't in the photo everyone knows RH is expensive AF. Your rent in one month would pay my mortgage for 5 months. I know that's just one of the huge differences, though, in where we live so I can't hold that against you. I think it's difficult for many of us to relate to you because you do seem so flippant about money. I, for one, used to have a lifestyle that I didn't have to worry about money, but the trade off was being told that my (now ex) husband blamed me for his unhappiness. The paycheck to paycheck thing is totally of my own doing, but I wouldn't go back for anything. 

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    @inomniaparatus - even if the price wasn't in the photo everyone knows RH is expensive AF. Your rent in one month would pay my mortgage for 5 months. I know that's just one of the huge differences, though, in where we live so I can't hold that against you. I think it's difficult for many of us to relate to you because you do seem so flippant about money. I, for one, used to have a lifestyle that I didn't have to worry about money, but the trade off was being told that my (now ex) husband blamed me for his unhappiness. The paycheck to paycheck thing is totally of my own doing, but I wouldn't go back for anything. 

    You're right about the fact that it's RH and people know it's expensive-- but why should I be made to feel bad or guilty about it? There are definitely months where I'm living paycheck to paycheck too. My paycheck may be higher but so are all my bills, lol. I'm jealous of a lot of you that are homeowners! I made a choice in my 20's to live in Manhattan and live a certain lifestyle and I'm paying for it now, because I'm massively behind in saving for a down payment. I actually just moved outside of the city to start saving. Yes, I can buy the crib on any given friday when I get paid, but that's not the smartest choice for me right now. Things aren't always what they seem to be. 

    and happiness is definitely much more important than money and I'm glad you made that choice too. 


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    @RN0107 don't feel bad.  i have a family of 4 also and we go through 4 gallons of milk a week as well.  and it's just regular milk.  

    @Centralmnmom - Amen!  My H's family owns a ranch and so we get all of our meat that way.  I wouldn't call it organic though.  they use antibiotics and feel them grains at the end to fatten them up, but it's probably the best meat i've ever eaten.  I wouldn't want completely grass fed beef.  I enjoy a little marbling in my meat personally.  and if you're really concerned about what you're putting in your body, you really don't know unless you buy it straight from the farm/ranch.  so even if you're buying organic who knows what or where it actually came from.  just saying.

    @AdventureMama - I'm going wayback.  i'm sorry your little one is allergic to nuts.  my sister and dad are both allergic to nuts, so growing up we as a family really had to deal with that.  my sister has two kids now and i have two as well and none of our kids so far have any nut allergies.  It's super scary, and i've worried about it with each of my kids.  i hope that none of your kids to come will have the same allergy.  
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    @inomniaparatus I don't think you are a bad person. I think sometimes you forget the audience, you aren't talking to your group of friends from the same socio-economic background. I think you said you work in the tv or movie industry; real life isn't that different when it comes to how important it is to know your audience.
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    You're right about the fact that it's RH and people know it's expensive-- but why should I be made to feel bad or guilty about it? There are definitely months where I'm living paycheck to paycheck too. My paycheck may be higher but so are all my bills, lol. I'm jealous of a lot of you that are homeowners! I made a choice in my 20's to live in Manhattan and live a certain lifestyle and I'm paying for it now, because I'm massively behind in saving for a down payment. I actually just moved outside of the city to start saving. Yes, I can buy the crib on any given friday when I get paid, but that's not the smartest choice for me right now. Things aren't always what they seem to be. 

    and happiness is definitely much more important than money and I'm glad you made that choice too. 

    Again, it's just one of those things that makes it appear that you're bragging about money. Just like yesterday people were talking about how it makes no sense to them to spend a lot of money on a car, it makes no sense to me (and probably a lot of other people) to spend big money on a crib since it's so temporary, but like I've said to you before even when I had plenty of money I still agonized over buying a new couch because it was $3,000. 

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    @inomniaparatus I don't think you are a bad person. I think sometimes you forget the audience, you aren't talking to your group of friends from the same socio-economic background. I think you said you work in the tv or movie industry; real life isn't that different when it comes to how important it is to know your audience.

    You are very right :)
    Thanks 

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    edited September 2015
    You're right about the fact that it's RH and people know it's expensive-- but why should I be made to feel bad or guilty about it? There are definitely months where I'm living paycheck to paycheck too. My paycheck may be higher but so are all my bills, lol. I'm jealous of a lot of you that are homeowners! I made a choice in my 20's to live in Manhattan and live a certain lifestyle and I'm paying for it now, because I'm massively behind in saving for a down payment. I actually just moved outside of the city to start saving. Yes, I can buy the crib on any given friday when I get paid, but that's not the smartest choice for me right now. Things aren't always what they seem to be. 

    and happiness is definitely much more important than money and I'm glad you made that choice too. 

    Again, it's just one of those things that makes it appear that you're bragging about money. Just like yesterday people were talking about how it makes no sense to them to spend a lot of money on a car, it makes no sense to me (and probably a lot of other people) to spend big money on a crib since it's so temporary, but like I've said to you before even when I had plenty of money I still agonized over buying a new couch because it was $3,000. 
    To be fair, 3000 is a lot to spend on a couch ;)
    I'd be agonizing over that too. 

    I need to put this convo to bed. I do appreciate you're opinion and point of view though. I just can't obsess on it anymore. Let's move on to something lighter. It's Friday!! 

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    To be fair, 3000 is a lot to spend on a couch ;)
    I'd be agonizing over that too. 

    I need to put this convo to bed. I do appreciate you're opinion and point of view though. I just can't obsess on it anymore. Let's move on to something lighter. It's Friday!! 
    It was, but it was huge. It fit all the way across the wall in our media room and wrapped around to the door and was down filled. Everything else that was even a close fit was almost $10,000. We spent 90% of our time awake, at home in that room too. It was definitely one of those cost/benefit analysis decisions.

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    It was, but it was huge. It fit all the way across the wall in our media room and wrapped around to the door and was down filled. Everything else that was even a close fit was almost $10,000. We spent 90% of our time awake, at home in that room too. It was definitely one of those cost/benefit analysis decisions.
    That makes sense. It's kind of my theory on winter coats. When you wear something EVERY DAY, it can be worth spending more on. I'm in my coat a lot- even in the office because it's always so cold, so it all does come down to that cost/benefit analysis. 

    Except, this year, if I need a maternity coat that will be a cheap one since It's only for one season. 

    But, back to the couch, I really need a new one but also don't want to spend the money. Our couch is only a drop smaller than a love seat and my husband is 6'3 and over 250lbs! So you can imagine how comfy that is! :(

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    That makes sense. It's kind of my theory on winter coats. When you wear something EVERY DAY, it can be worth spending more on. I'm in my coat a lot- even in the office because it's always so cold, so it all does come down to that cost/benefit analysis. 

    Except, this year, if I need a maternity coat that will be a cheap one since It's only for one season. 

    But, back to the couch, I really need a new one but also don't want to spend the money. Our couch is only a drop smaller than a love seat and my husband is 6'3 and over 250lbs! So you can imagine how comfy that is! :(
    I hate wearing a coat so I probably won't even buy one. I had the couch for our family room custom made and got a great deal. We had to make sure that it was long enough for the hubs to stretch out on even though he maybe sat on it once. The company had a special on some fabric and we ended up ordering the couch for under $1500 including delivery. It was by Mayo Furniture, they have a dealer in Sparta, NJ called Downing Furniture. You may check them out.

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    Cool, thanks! I will! 

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    strlitemissstrlitemiss member
    edited September 2015
    Just an FYI 2 boxes of Hamburger helper (which is apparently the average for a family of 4) uses almost 5 cups of milk so if you lead a super busy life and use boxed dinners frequently you're going to go through a s**t ton of milk.
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    Just an FYI 2 boxes of Hamburger helper (which is apparently the average for a family of 4) uses almost 5 cups of milk so if you lead a super busy life and use boxed dinners frequently you're going to go through a s**t ton of milk.
    We make a lot of homemade soups that have milk in them. This is a good point. Milk isn't just for drinking.

    We go through so so much milk a week. Cereal for breakfast helps with that a lot.
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    Zepplin1218Zepplin1218 member
    edited September 2015



    Just an FYI 2 boxes of Hamburger helper (which is apparently the average for a family of 4) uses almost 5 cups of milk so if you lead a super busy life and use boxed dinners frequently you're going to go through a s**t ton of milk.

    We make a lot of homemade soups that have milk in them. This is a good point. Milk isn't just for drinking.

    We go through so so much milk a week. Cereal for breakfast helps with that a lot.

    We use milk for everything! Basically every meal. We luck out in that DH has an aunt who owns a farm out here so we go out there and buy their milk as well as meat and veggies - we get it super cheap because it's not in a supermarket or really any store and because of being family. Helps big time plus we know where it comes from which is an added perk!

    Eta: spelling is hard
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    I was a bit insulted about the comment in regards to not understanding why anyone wouldn't buy organic milk and grass fed etc. Well for us personally its because we just can't afford it. Because of my previous rough pregnancy and now this one too I have not been able to work so my husband is providing for the four of us on his paycheck (our only income) we are barely making ends meet. As much as I would love to buy organic and better quality foods for our kids we just cannot do it. I do provide what they need, milk but not organic because here in california that stuff is double the price of regular. Although I can't afford it I still care about what my kids are eating and worry about their health just like you do. I'm not any less a mother because I can't pay the extra for a $3000 crib or superior food products so I shouldn't feel bad when I read these posts but now I do. I came to the bump to be around others I can reach out/relate to but sometimes it just seems so condescending here, we are suppose to be building each other up and supporting each other. Sorry so long of a rant...
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    @inomniaparatus: I'm rolling my eyes a little at the martyr routine that you are being judged for your lifestyle. Come on. I've explained to you before, really politely, that the numerous times you mention your money, wealth, spending habits, and extravagant lifestyle is really off-putting and comes off as braggy. I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt that you don't realize that what you're saying comes off as snobby, but now it has been explained to you and you still insist on making comments like "I don't understand why anyone wouldn't buy organic milk." It comes off as elitist and naive. Posting the play by play of your (very fancy) baby shower menu, the price of your crib, the cost of eating out you accrue every week, your disdain for used things...do you see what I'm getting at? I didn't even have to look at your post history to remember any of these things, and I'm sure there are more. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of them individually. But you seem to talk about everything in the context of your wealth along with a tone of incredulity that everyone doesn't do things the way you do. It is very alienating and it's why people take issue with the things you say.

    @AdventureMama you jealous?
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    tooba22 said:
    @inomniaparatus: I'm rolling my eyes a little at the martyr routine that you are being judged for your lifestyle. Come on. I've explained to you before, really politely, that the numerous times you mention your money, wealth, spending habits, and extravagant lifestyle is really off-putting and comes off as braggy. I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt that you don't realize that what you're saying comes off as snobby, but now it has been explained to you and you still insist on making comments like "I don't understand why anyone wouldn't buy organic milk." It comes off as elitist and naive. Posting the play by play of your (very fancy) baby shower menu, the price of your crib, the cost of eating out you accrue every week, your disdain for used things...do you see what I'm getting at? I didn't even have to look at your post history to remember any of these things, and I'm sure there are more. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of them individually. But you seem to talk about everything in the context of your wealth along with a tone of incredulity that everyone doesn't do things the way you do. It is very alienating and it's why people take issue with the things you say.
    @AdventureMama you jealous?
    What an incredibly snarky thing to imply. There are plenty of people on here who have lifestlyes that probably compare to hers - but honestly if you are going out to meet someone or are talking to people in a group why would you feel the need to say how much money you make all the time? It only comes across as someone who feels the need to remind everyone of their status in life and probably is actually no where near what is potrayed. Most people I know that live well don't feel the need to broadcast it and those that do are truly insecure which is why the preface everything that way. I don't pretend to know anyone on here to say that is what they are doing - but it is how it reads.

    Also why do you feel the need to go on the attack for someone who clearly has offended multiple people on here with the way they are talking as well as who has made people feel uncomfortable or like the cannot relate at all (all things people have honestly come out and said)?
    I really want this topic to just die already... but I do feel the need to say something here since I didn't ask for a WK to come in and also didn't ask for someone to attack me- yet again, after I thought this was put to rest. 
    Plenty of women come on here and ask opinions on certain products- be it a crib, a stroller, etc. I didn't start a thread saying "Hey guys, look at this thousand dollar crib, I'm buying!" I started a thread asking if anyone had any experience with cribs from a particular place and if their babies happened to use the crib. Plenty of women come on here an ask questions about their shower menu. I was concerned about the drink options. Plenty of women come on here and mention how much things cost - in general. I don't feel like I'm not entirely to blame when I say things like the milk comment. That wasn't well thought out, I admit. I hate that I offended anyone with that. But, there are many instances where I've been chastised for doing the SAME thing other people do because the things I talk about happen to cost more money. 

    I remember the first time it happened too... someone said they were disgusted (or a word similar, it was a while back so can't remember perfectly) about a friend of theirs spending $700 on gender reveal party. Everyone jumped on the bandwagon of hating on this girl for spending money so frivolously and how over the top and tacky it was. I am doing a gender reveal and this made me feel bad. I came in and said how I can totally see how something like that can cost that much. Why so much hate towards how people choose to spend their money? I just don't understand it a lot of the time. 

    There, have been other times where I've seen where I was wrong and I always apologize and cop to it. But, I do stand by the fact that I do think there is some hating that goes on here if you don't happen to spend money how the majority of the board does. 

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    @inomniaparatus I think you're still missing the point. It's not what you choose to talk about, it's HOW you do it. Everything with you seems to be about money or status. I think the majority of the people here find it odd that you continue to fit in money or your "lifestyle" with comments and it comes across as snooty.

    You have every right to spend your money how you see fit. Other people here have every right to spend their money how they see fit. It's been mentioned several times that the way you portray yourself comes across as an attempt to brag. It's hard to relate and have a conversation about something as simple as a crib or a menu when it looks like an attention grab because of the way you do things.

    It's eye roll worthy when you pass judgement on others because of how they may choose to spend their grocery money, and I see that you've apologized. If you can recognize that post may have come across wrong you should take a moment to think how future posts could come across and maybe this can be avoided.
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