February 2016 Moms
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Unpopular Opinions (9/3)

opinions that are unpopular to others.

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Re: Unpopular Opinions (9/3)

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    @Twindling wow if only motherhood just meant collecting a paycheck. You seem to be completely missing the point.
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    @wisco29 love love love that gif.

    @Twindling I don't think I ever thought about that term, other than thinking that it must be terribly difficult to do it alone without a spouse whether they have the child full time or only 50%. I'm honestly curious, what do you think should be the correct term for someone who isn't with the father of the child but shares the custody and financial burden with the father? Is there a term that already exist?
    September Sig challenge: Fall
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    Achae said:

    My uo is I don't understand the appeal of Five Guys. The burgers taste nothing fancy, the fries are meh, and imo they are pricey for a burger. I would take a Wendy's burger over Five Guys lol.

    Agree! When we moved here everyone said try 5 guys. Well I went there with dd and it was just a burger and some fries. There are a lot of places I would rather go for a delicious burger, actually I think culverts might be better than them.
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    Nooooo. Five guys is sooo good. I agree that it's not fancy but it's greasy deliciousness. And the fries! They are the closest you can get to boardwalk fries in my opinion.
    September Sig challenge: Fall
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    Google agrees.
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    Twindling said:

    Google agrees.

    Those are not mutually exclusive definitions. Just because someone doesn't have a partner doesn't mean they don't have to share custody. I consider partner in an emotional/physical sense like dating. I also think it would be very rare for a woman to have a child and have no monetary support / no support raising the children from anyone.
    In your scenario daycare could be seen as sharing custody.
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    @ohbaby714 I think the reasoning there is they grow accustomed to a certain type of lifestyle. It would be difficult if one parent got to take child to all these amazing things and buy them new toys etc and then go to other parent's house and it's ramen every night, you don't get to do toy or clothes shopping or have friends over for parties etc.

    Don't get me started on alimony though!
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    @wisco29 love love love that gif.

    @Twindling I don't think I ever thought about that term, other than thinking that it must be terribly difficult to do it alone without a spouse whether they have the child full time or only 50%. I'm honestly curious, what do you think should be the correct term for someone who isn't with the father of the child but shares the custody and financial burden with the father? Is there a term that already exist?

    This. I think even though you have 50/50 custody the time you do have your child you are still doing it alone, hence the single mother thing and that has the be extremely difficult. H's busy season at work usually lasts about a month and a half and he works anywhere from 12-16 hours a day 7 days a week and it is so difficult having DD basically by myself for that time. I can't imagine doing it like that all the time.

    Another UO probably, I think the term single father is underused. Dads don't get enough credit a lot of the time and it makes me sad.
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    ohbaby714ohbaby714 member
    edited September 2015
    Achae said:

    @ohbaby714 I think the reasoning there is they grow accustomed to a certain type of lifestyle. It would be difficult if one parent got to take child to all these amazing things and buy them new toys etc and then go to other parent's house and it's ramen every night, you don't get to do toy or clothes shopping or have friends over for parties etc.

    Don't get me started on alimony though!

    I can kind of see this, but what determines how much extra money you need per month to keep up with the other parent? I'm genuinely asking, not being snarky. I didn't know if there is a formula they use for these situations or how that even works.

    It just seems like in my experience of people I know (which I know is extremely limited in the grand scheme of things) one parent or the other is getting completely ripped off.

    ETA, the alimony thing. Uff. I think that is extremely selfish and would never do that. BUT my mom had a friend whose husband was very controlling and wouldn't let her work or hardly ever leave the house unless it was with him. When she finally got enough nerve to divorce him she did get go for alimony for I think a year so she could get back on her feet and try and find a job since he obviously got the house since she had no way of paying the mortgage.
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    I just want to put it out there too so people don't get the completely wrong impression of me that I respect and support all single moms and moms who are co parenting. Your job is very difficult and I know that. I can't imagine doing it.

    Single parents and co parents are similar but not the same, TO ME.
    Much like the large majority of people who use the term "gender" in place of "sex". To many they mean the same...but TO ME, they are very different and shouldn't me used interchangeably.

    Ps. I'm having a hard time seeing your point on the daycare being shared custody. I'm not raising anyone else's kids here.
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    Single Parents- It's a bit of a stickler for me. DH grew up with his "single mom", she was divorced but constantly jumping from guy to guy. She would receive over $700 for DH and sister, plus she had 2 jobs. Well she was never home, she never had food at home, I mean 0 food. They mainly lived off of microwave baked potatoes and burnt ramen noodles. If she wasn't home, which was most of the time, they would go "play" at their neighbors so they could have dinner there. They went from neighbor to neighbor or to grandmas. If none of them happened to be home, they had to dig through the couch to get $1 and go buy a plate of fries and share them. Lord knows where the mom was spending the money from work and child support. They never had clothes, food, electric or heat (and they lived in a snowy state) or water. It is sad, how Some Parents abuse child support. With that said, I am with @ohbaby714, sometimes DH works 12-14 hrs a day everyday for 3-4 months. Life is tough for me alone in those days. I think child support is needed but it should used for the children. Single parenting, yeah I guess I always thought of it like, you don't get support or share custody, it's just you by your lonesome.
    @monkeybutt80 - my family also glorifies boys, is disgusting and I hate. During BBQ men sit and eat first before women. It's ridiculous. Then we eat leftovers. Not anymore I don't, I went and sat with them and said, I'm not a second class citizen just because I'm a women! I'm hungry damn it! Needless to say I'm the blacksheep of the family and I love it!

    Five guys: I've always wanted to try, now I don't. Lol

    My UO: I do not really care if people breastfeed in public, I don't really do it, but I understand, sometimes baby is just hungry!

    Zipping up flame suit!

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    VitaLunaVitaLuna member
    edited September 2015
    @Twindling At first I was side eyeing, but you do bring up a good point with the 50/50. If mom is calling herself a single mom, shouldn't dad also be able to call himself a single dad? In theory, yes, but I'm guessing society would roll their eyes or laugh at him, which really isn't right if we're being fair here. Something to think about.

    My mom was a single mom for 13yrs. She got child support and we went with my dad every other weekend and one evening a week. I know she struggled. You have no backup for help with dinner, getting kids to bed, housework, anything. I have a lot of respect for her and other agile parents.

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    @VitaLuna totally about the single dad thing. I feel like the single dads are so under appreciated and get side eyed when they refer to themselves as such. I just think it's so awesome when dads step up and go above and beyond for their kids. I know moms do it all the time too but it's just so unexpected when dads do it so I think that's why I love it so much.
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    @DaisyTortilla I totally get what you are saying. It's really sad that even in this day and age, stuff like that exists in many cultures.  I was pregnant with my first, my mom told me that my aunt (my dad's sister) was vocally jealous of the fact that my mom got a grandson and that she only had a granddaughter. The saddest part is that my cousin (that aunt's daughter) struggled with infertility for 7 years. 7 freaking years, she saw her daughter go through all sorts of treatments to get pregnant, but all she could think about was how it was a girl and not a boy. It disgusted me. 
    Luckily, my husband (who isn't from my culture) grew up with especially non stereotypical gender role family - his mom was going through residency when he was young, so he was used to having his dad cook and do half of the house choirs. So my husband and I also split our housework in a non gender stereotypical way (I cook, he does the dishes, we split laundry, and whoever can will take out the trash and such) and I hope to install that type of mentality for my son and for this daughter that is arriving in feb. 
    September Sig challenge: Fall
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    mcklough said:

    I'm so sick of people thinking they are political experts because they read 1 article and shared a meme on facebook.

    Totally not unpopular here!!
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    @monkeybutt80 - Wow! That is so sad! My family has always said, don't expect anything in our will, all our houses go to your brother. You need to get someone to provide for you. I was like 5 and I was like, "yeah okay, whatevers." I am Mexican and it is well known that Mexican cultures glorify men, I even see it on TV and videos. I always face palm when I see that.
    When I had DD (she's the first born) DH was upset, he wanted a boy "to protect our future younger daughters". I told him "are you serious? My bro is older and I have a better chance at kicking someone's ass and protecting him!" He laughed and understood. Luckily he is also like your DH and we share chores, except cooking because we tried that, it was a major fail. Lol.

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    @monkeybutt80 I now want a piece of pizza from this place I used to love in Brooklyn SO bad. We have nothing like that in Michigan, either. Doughy mess, like you said.
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    tigeraj8170tigeraj8170 member
    edited September 2015
    I'm with @Twindling single mom/dad and co-parenting are similar but not the same. I support single parents/co-parenting parents, but to me, there is a difference.
    For the first year and a half of my son's life, I considered myself a single parent. I was home with him all the time, doing everything with him, while my husband was gone from 3 to 4 weeks 24/7 and then home for maybe 4 to 5 days, because he was an over the road truck driver.

    @mcklough - or believing everything single thing they read. "It was on Facebook so it MUST be true." I'm sick of seeing the political posts on my news feed.

    @Achae I have no clue what Five Guys is, but from the sounds of it, I wouldn't be able to eat there. My tummy will protest if I eat anything with too much grease in it.

    I had an UO...then I completely forgot what it was writing everything else. So, if I remeber, I'll update this. Lol! :-)
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    @Monkeybutt80 I love both of those kinds! I love some huge thick topping filled pizzas and I love some thin one topping pizzas! Mmmm left over pizza in the fridge for lunch!!

    Looks sort of like this mmmmmimage
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    If a woman is single, AKA not in a serious relationship, and has a child that she takes care of, she is a single mom. Same goes for men. Financial support and sharing custody does not magically make someone not a single parent... Single parenting and co-parenting are not mutually exclusive. When mom (or dad) has the child, he/she is single parenting... doing it alone. I don't understand trying to dissect the term, it seems pretty simple to me.
    Married 8.5.12
    Caleb born 10.9.13
    2.0 due 2.1.16
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    @wisco29  what is that?!? I have never seen pizza that is filled in the middle with toppings like that. To me, a stuffed pizza is a calzone, but this is something I have never seen. I am intrigued and kinda grossed out at the same time :)  
    September Sig challenge: Fall
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    @wisco29  what is that?!? I have never seen pizza that is filled in the middle with toppings like that. To me, a stuffed pizza is a calzone, but this is something I have never seen. I am intrigued and kinda grossed out at the same time :)  
    That looks to me like a Papa Murphy's stuffed pizza. They are VERY good. But I don't discriminate, I love all types of pizza.. :D
    Married 8.5.12
    Caleb born 10.9.13
    2.0 due 2.1.16
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    Pizza! 
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    Feb '16 Siggy Challenge: Favorite Thing About Fall: Haunted Houses and Scary Movies! 
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    My UO is that I will actively discourage (I don't want to say "won't allow", but...) my children to play football. I'm cool with almost any activity or sport they want to do, but football is incredibly dangerous and while I enjoy watching it on TV, I would not want to let my child participate. We'll see if they're even interested. I hope not! Baseball, anyone? Dance? Track? :)

    *Of course other sports offer a possibility of getting injured, but nothing like football, where you're intentionally letting your child get tackled on a regular basis. The amount of head injuries alone is enough to give me pause.
    I never even thought about it before I had my first, but when my husband and I were talking about signing our 2 year old up for some sort of fall league (we will probably do soccer), he flat out said no football. EVER. I never knew pee wee football also does tackle. In my naive head, I thought they did touch football or flag football. Apparently, it's full on contact, even at that age. Once I heard about that, I 100% agreed with my husband. 
    September Sig challenge: Fall
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    Now I want all the pizza :(( There's only one good place in our town (also in VA) but nothing like the pizza from the mom and pop shops we're used to up north. @AdventureMama I had Papa Murphy's for the first time in Minnesota and was distraught to find out we don't have one close. The cheeseburger pizza was life changing!

    imageLilypie - (zxAe)

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    @monkeybutt18 Neapolitan crust 4 lyfe!!! ( that's the thin yummy crusted pizza if you don't).
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    Monkeybutt80Monkeybutt80 member
    edited September 2015
    @strlitemiss  oh yeah, I know exactly what you are talking about. The puffed up, slightly charred bubbly crust? yummmm 

    ETA:image
    September Sig challenge: Fall
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