Someone stole my Baby name. — The Bump
November 2015 Moms

Someone stole my Baby name.

lesles89lesles89 member
edited September 2015 in November 2015 Moms
Since before I was pregnant I had my girls name chosen. My husband wasn't on board at first but he eventually came around. I'm 7 months pregnant and my husbands step cousin just had a baby girl and guess what name she used? Mine. Now I can't say for
Sure weather she intentionally stole it or not, regardless it's the same. I honestly could care less if our kids have the same name, even if they are born so close together(August and supposed to be November) BUT. Her kids spend a lot of time at my father in laws. Do I say eff it and use the name anyways and potentially start a huge fight and sever all family ties? Or do I just accept it, move on, and look for a different name? I'm totally heartbroken and this is a tough call for me to make.

Re: Someone stole my Baby name.

  • What's the name?
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  • I would think how often the two kids would be at the same place. If you only see her a couple times a year, then I would go ahead and use the name you want. If you see her all the time, I would pick another name. Or maybe keep the original name, but use a nickname. You could also us the name as her middle name.
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  • Unless it's a super unique name I think it would be fine to use it. 
  • Everly... It's not a common name.
  • I think the specific name matters, too. If it's a common name I consider it much less of an issue. If it's a more unique name, it's more questionable and I would have to seriously consider if it would be a big deal given the specific circumstances. Consider how often they'll be together and how often it will even come up as an issue that they have the same name. I don't think that I could give my baby the same name as one any of my relatives used, but that's more personal preference and family dynamics.
  • I had a girl at work tell me she was going to use my baby girl's name if she had a girl (she is due a month ahead of me) and I was super put off. It was my grandmothers name and it was really special to pick it out for our daughter. She thankfully is having a boy but I have to say I was very upset at the possibility that she would "steal" the name, so I completely understand. I say use the name anyways!!! It was yours first to begin with :)
  • edited September 2015
    How often will the kids see each other? Just holidays? Weekends? Will they attend the same school?
  • I don't see a name choice causing a huge fight and/or "severing family ties" - that seems a bit dramatic. If it is a popular/usual name then who knows if she potentially "stole" it. It could have been a name she liked for a long time as well. If it is completely unique, then she probably did take a page from your book on that one but it is up to you to decide if it will forever bother you or if you can get past it. Either way, If you do decide to approach her on it I would definitely try to be as mature, reasonable and unassuming as possible.
  • grapesoda1111grapesoda1111 member
    edited September 2015
    Pretty name. Did she know you were going to name baby this? Did you tell family the name you picked out? If everyone knows you were going to name baby that, then she is the one that would look like an idiot IMO. But if you didn't tell the name, then it's just pure luck that she named her baby the name you picked out? If your family doesn't get together often, I don't think it would be that big of a deal. Sure there might be some mixup later down the line... but you do what you want. It's just a name. 

    eta: wow spelling. 

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  • The name is really nice, I say use it and hopefully it doesn't cause issues. Honestly, if you had mentioned using the name before than you have every right to use the name. If she has an issue just nicely state she knew your name choice and there is no way you're changing your mind. I would say just take the high road when you announce the name, don't mention them also having it and if anyone questions I would just nicely and simply say you had the name picked out long before!
  • If she new that you were using that name I would be pissed, my friend almost did that to me. I told her I was going to name my girl Kimber or Kimberlee when I was pregnant with my first. She knew this was and always had been the name I had picked out. We were both pregnant with our second baby and I didn't know boy or girl yet and she found out girl and said she was considering my girls name! I was ticked and let her know. She didn't use it thankfully but I was still mad. We were like sisters to so that's what made me mad. Btw I got over it.

    If it is a name you have been set on I would just use it, don't be shy in telling people you have had it picked out for a long time before so and so named her baby it. I wouldn't be snooty about it though, just be kind :)
  • I have the same name as my cousin. Never caused problems. Name her what you want.
  • If you didn't share it with your family there's no way you can really be mad. If you shared and she decided to use it I can see being kinda pissed. But if you love it, it shouldn't matter just use it anyway.
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  • I feel like it really comes down to if she knew. If she did, I'd be a little angry but I don't think I'd sever ties over it. Really not that big of a deal. Name her what you want!
  • Speaking from experience it shouldn't matter. My cousin and I had the same first and last name growing up. We lived in the same small town went to the same schools etc. It never really mattered. I recently found out we almost had the same middle name as well only the spelling was suppose to be different.

    If you think the family will make it a big deal about it maybe use the name as a middle name and use a backup as the first.

    Good luck making a decision. :)
  • Use it if you want, but there is nothing wrong with looking at other names anyway. You never know you may find one you love even more. Nothing says you have to have a name 100% decided now. We have a name pretty much picked out but I won't stop glancing through and having back ups just in case it doesn't feel right when she's born.
  • In our family we pretty much are all named after each other. We have nicknames to differ each other. If you love the name, name your sweet LO that..
  • They say that copying is the "greatest form of flattery." If she knew about your name choice, perhaps she loved it just as much as you did! That being said, If the name is really going to be a problem (which I hope it isn't.) Around the family when everyone is together, to avoid any possible fights or issues, use the same first name, but perhaps call your LO by her middle name as a nickname, or just use a nickname as well. Honestly it's your baby so you should name her, whatever name your heart is set on.
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  • Oh Everly is a beautiful name and not very common at all! So strange out of the gazillion names that was the name you both chose.
    I know how frustrating it can be as i had a similar thing happen to me, except my girlfriend had her baby in April and i am not due until November 29th. My partner and i just bit out tongue and kept looking for another name and VOILA.. We found one we absolutely love even more then the first name. We think it happened for a reason. I would keep an eye out for more names and if you still havent found one that fits by due date then stuff it and go with your heart.
  • I have had a name picked out since I was 10. My sister got a dog that uses the nickname for the name. I got really mad even though my kid would most likely never see that dog, I was no naming my kid after a dog. I found a better name too and people love it. It's not super common and not uncommon. Found out later that MIL hated original name.
  • This has happened to half the population , You find a really really awesome name and then the next door neighbor using it, or your brother , or your cousin. 

    If it is a name that you truly love then use it, If you think you could find another name that you love just as much then why not take a peek at names again. 

  • IMO, it's a name. It's your child. Name her what you want because there is bound to be someone in the world who will end up having the same name. In grade school i was thw only one with my name, in highschool that changed quick, so many people had the same name..
    Everly might not be commonly used but when we were trying to decide names every person who had an opinion had mentioned that as a name suggestion for us, amd it always came up in baby name books and apps tho we didn't go with it. So tho its not commonly used in some places it is thought of by many.
    They can always have nicknames, and different middle names. Or if it really bothers you that they would share a name then you can look for a different name. I would say it depends on how much you love it and want it as the name.
  • My bestfriend named her daughter Ruby, 2 years after I had my daughter Ruby....I am totally fine with it, I actually think it's great.
  • It's different if it's not a common name that was done on purpose, however was the name you wanted so stick with it!
  • My fiances step mother just had her baby and as soon as we found out we were pregnant we chose the name Kali for a girl and Alexander for a boy. We tell them, and originally they were supposed to have a boy, well they find out it's actually a girl and decided on Kalliope for her name. We are having a boy thank goodness but it kinda hurt my feelings.
  • lulamagoo said:

    It doesn't matter. End of story. You like the name, use it. She likes the name she can use it too.
    There are much bigger issues to worry about once you become a parent.

    ^^^ this.
    I just can't get on board with it being YOUR name. Regardless of whether you shared it or not, you cannot own a name and forbid anybody else to use it. She can call her kid whatever she chooses, just like you can.
  • OP have anything else to comment? 

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  • OP have anything else to comment? 
    Seriously one of my biggest pet peeves when people won't come back and comment. Is it because they don't get the answer they want??
    Yep. I just wanted to know if she told people her baby's name.

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  • OP have anything else to comment? 

    Seriously one of my biggest pet peeves when people won't come back and comment. Is it because they don't get the answer they want??

    Yep. I just wanted to know if she told people her baby's name.

    Me too!!!
    image BabyFruit Ticker VOTE on my Name List
  • I do not feel as tho I own the name. Maybe I should reword it, it was the name I had choose , long before I even got pregnant, it has sentimental meaning to me. I never kept my name a secret, tho maybe I should have...? I don't recall weather or not I shared the name with her or not. I do know her aunt knew and I do know I told her mom, regardless it was never kept a secret. I do not care that our kids would have the same name but somehow I think SHE WOULD. My main concern was not clarify that I had chosen it first but to
    Ask advice to see weather it would be awkward if I still used it. We are related , kind of , and do see them from time to time, plus her kids spend ALOT of time at my father in laws place. Which might be awkward for him...? I don't know. I guess I should just talk to him about it.... And I don't want to start a family fight over something so stupid. You have no idea what kind of ppl I'm dealing with here, the type that might get all pissed off and worked up over a copied name. I'm not sure if I should talk to his cousin about it or just do what I want. I really have no idea how to go about dealing with the situation. All the while dealing with extra hormones and emotions. This name wa special to me because of my parents, both of which are now gone, so you can imagine my disappointment when someone used the chosen name, which was supposed to be unique... It's just alot
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