Not related to my baby anyways...

pink*sheep

I apologize if this is lengthy but my sil totally caught me off guard and I'd like some opinions...
She's pregnant, still early though (I think she said around 13 weeks), and just went through her std testing and is freaking out.

She said her chlamydia test came back positive. She said they told her to have my brother checked and he too is positive. Now a little background, about 3 years ago they had a rough spat, and she wanted a divorce. My brother was devastated and wanted to work on things bc she has a son from a previous relationship that he considers to be just like his own. She, according to him, slept with someone else during their brief time apart. Shortly after they decided to stay together, and things have been noticeably better. Now she is coming to me adamant that he has cheated on her. Which obviously I don't know for sure, but what I know of my brother and how he felt when they split, I can't fathom it. She was tested for stds last year and all of her tests came back negative (same practice, same type of test). She says that her dr is telling her that in all likelihood my brother gave it to her. Now my question is, could she have had it after her affair and it just didn't show up? I feel badly for her, and don't want to blame her (she has never said anything to me about her affair, but I assume she thinks I know bc of my brother), but I don't want her to unnecessarily be questioning my brother either...

dogsombrero

Have you googled chlamydia? I have no idea how long it can be dormant.

brianna91chavez

How can the doctor say that he most likely gave it to her? What a crock of shit. That doctor has no way of knowing. The CDC website said "the incubation period for chlamydia is poorly defined" and I didn't find any clear time spans for how long it can be dormant. I just think that usually the person who is quick to point fingers and accuse the other person is often times guilty.

Shelbyville30

Regardless of who passed it on, I would tell her to leave me (you) out of it. It sounds like a really unfortunate situation, but ultimately it's between them.

pink*sheep

I couldn't find any definite answer either. It didn't make it sound like it could be dormant and not show up in a test.

pink*sheep

Shelbyville30 said:

Regardless of who passed it on, I would tell her to leave me (you) out of it. It sounds like a really unfortunate situation, but ultimately it's between them.

I think she came to me bc she knows that I know about the problems with her and my brother. He didn't confide in anyone else really. Honestly I'd rather her come to me about it instead of going to her friends and putting my brother in a bad light.

pink*sheep

I've been googling it and short of telling them to just accept the magical case of the drip and move on if that's what they're going to do, I'm sad for them and don't know what I would do in their situation.

alisonrmc

I just wouldnt get involved i mean for 1. How do you know that she actually got tested and was negative before 2. I dont think a doctor would just say her husband gave it to her unless hes completely inappropriate and unprofessional 3. You dont know if SHES cheated since they got back together. Sounds like a big mess that has nothing to do with you and if shes running to you accussing him of things sounds like she could be trying to cover her ass.. Just my opinion. You dont want to take sides on this it will just bite you in the ass either way. But to answer your question i have heard of chlamydia going undetected for period of time im not sure exactly what the time period is on that though.

oliarnmom1517

Now I could be very wrong about this and it could be a different situation... However if he hasn't cheated then there is only one other person that could have and that would be her... If they both got tested a year ago like you said and they both came up negative then its more then likely not your brother... If there is a period of time where chlamydia doesn't show up then since your brother said she slept with somebody during that period it may have come from that person and just not shown up.. Like pp said if the doctor really said that to her then they are extremely unprofessional...

pink*sheep

She was the only one who got tested last year. I don't know yet if my brother knows that I know what's going on, I told her they needed to talk about it with each other and make their decisions and that I was there for them.

She surprisingly wasn't coming off accusatory, more like she wanted my opinion if she thought my brother would have cheated, and then was worried that he would think she cheated (which she swore she didn't). She didn't want to believe it was possible, and I got the impression more that she didn't want to think she could have had it all this time. Then add the negative test from last year and she said that her doctor basically told her that if she had it from the previous encounter that it would have shown on the test, so it had to have been contracted following that test.

It's just such a strange situation that I can't talk about with my family or friends bc it would obviously get back to them. And short of someone coming forward and saying it was their fault, they may just never know.

oliarnmom1517

In that case I would talk to your brother... It isn't the ideal way to let him know about it but he needs to know about this.. Obviously sit with her and talk and say this is something that he needs to know.. Now that there are more details it makes more sense..

vrossolille

My husband came up for chlamydia years ago. Back than we were going through some splits & tough times so we both of course pointed our fingers at the other knowing we ourselves didn't do anything. He was tested at a blood donating bank. He went to his family dr and was re-tested and it can back negative. So I do think sometimes a re-check would be appropriate. Thank god ours turned out in our favor because I know it would have been a finger pointing game as it will be for them & they will always wonder what they may not know. I would have her ask for a re-check. Couldn't hurt

WeirdAlice

In HS health class i had a class project to talk to a few health professionals (at least 3) about an std and this was the std I ended up assigned to do a research paper on, and based off of what the three doctors had to say, there is really no telling how long you can have it but that often times women don't show signs or symptoms for years in some cases and that it can come up negative so it is wise to go in for yearly checkups once you have been tested once even if it was negative.
Now I'm not sure how long they have been together but if it hasn't been to awfully long it could possibly be from her previous relationship, or from when she had messed around during their split up or as the dr said he could have it and passed it on to her.

How accurate this is I am not sure, this was just my understanding of how they explained it to me.